Caterina Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 If I'm not attracted to a guy: he often becomes really strong in his pursuit. He'll never get over me and he is always making it known that he's available. He aggressively persues me. When I like a guy, he leaves my life. He plays with my emotions like I'm not a human being. I've never been in love. I think its wrong to assert the idea that its BECAUSE he's distant that I like him, but I've noticed that it is BECAUSE I'm interested that it happens. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 what does this have to do with settling? are you just going to stay with the first guy that comes around and treats you nice even if you have no attraction? is that what you are saying? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Sounds like you don't want to be vulnerable. You'd rather be in a relationship with someone that you weren't attracted to so they won't have any control over your feelings. I'm confused. Link to comment
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 if you want to settle with the first piece of meat that comes you way go ahead and do that........i have no beef with it Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I've already said it's much better to be alone than to settle,it's just not fair to the two people involved and can damage your chances when the 'real thing' comes along. Link to comment
Brittney2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Settle with someone who makes you happy. If you settle with someone and years down the line realize you dont want to spend your life unhappy and end it, it will hurt so much more. Save the heartache now, it takes time but someone will come along Link to comment
Nixee Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I can't agree with you, but I feel the frustration that I think you are expressing. I've felt that way before. It seems like a game of tug-o-war. Whenever I really want a guy to be head over heels for me because *I* am the one feeling vulnerable... instead, he is the stronger, more aloof one.... and I am left taking deep breaths.... telling myself to "get it together and just chill." But then when I meet someone I feel lukewarm for... suddenly he is bombarding me with calls, cards, flowers and ready to propose! You begin to wonder when there will ever be a true sense of balance and control... it is all a balancing act. Every day I am learning. But.... ya gotta have some faith.... right..... RIGHT? Link to comment
CandyKins Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Settling is a good idea, it is good for the mentality. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I think it is the womans duty to settle. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I think it is the womans duty to settle. a lot of the 'woman' stuff you say is the reason i think you are single. part of it anyways. Link to comment
Caterina Posted March 12, 2008 Author Share Posted March 12, 2008 I've already said it's much better to be alone than to settle,it's just not fair to the two people involved and can damage your chances when the 'real thing' comes along. What if its been a year? I'm not getting any younger. I can't agree with you, but I feel the frustration that I think you are expressing. I've felt that way before. It seems like a game of tug-o-war. Whenever I really want a guy to be head over heels for me because *I* am the one feeling vulnerable... instead, he is the stronger, more aloof one.... and I am left taking deep breaths.... telling myself to "get it together and just chill." But then when I meet someone I feel lukewarm for... suddenly he is bombarding me with calls, cards, flowers and ready to propose! You begin to wonder when there will ever be a true sense of balance and control... it is all a balancing act. Every day I am learning. But.... ya gotta have some faith.... right..... RIGHT? Wrong, its just all over for us. Faith is for the blind. if you want to settle with the first piece of meat that comes you way go ahead and do that........i have no beef with it No beef? Jeez I hate vegetarians. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 A girl I knew was approaching 31 and was asked by an ex to get back together,get married and migrate and she said okay even though she wasn't in love with this guy...but what the hell she was' past it' and 'time was running out' so now 3 years of misery later she's separated and miserable and then met a guy she felt real chemistry with.....alas she can do nothing with this guy because she's married and chose to 'settle'. Link to comment
MattW Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Heh, well, why don't you ask my sister about "settling"? She had a great husband and two daughters with him, but she got jealous that he was getting so much attention for completing his education to become a cop, that she ended up running out on her family, and is now living with a pothead trailer trash hick that she claims is very abusive. Or how about my uncle, who had found the love of his life, but lost touch with her when she was forced to move away? He ended up marrying the skankiest woman ever. Seriously, this woman slept with anyone she could get her hands on. Low lifes, druggies, my other uncles, my mom's ex-husband... and this was all while she was with my uncle! She claims to have "found God" and turned her life around, but even at family reunions, she becomes very flirtacious around her daughters' boyfriends, and any other guy she might lure in. To this day, everyone in my family knows how she is, but no one says anything, because we don't know if my uncle is just completely oblivious to all this, or if he knows, but chooses to ignore it so he at least has some one. Either way, based on those experiences, I'd say I'm pretty wary of the idea of settling. Though, I'm willing to bet that after I hit a certain age, I'd probably just throw my beliefs about the idea out the window and settle down with who ever I can find... >_ Link to comment
Caterina Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 I'm talking more about settling for "good enough". Someone who you might not be overwhelmingly attracted to but has a good job and shares your religion and is somewhat intelligent and fairly goodlooking. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I'm talking more about settling for "good enough". Someone who you might not be overwhelmingly attracted to but has a good job and shares your religion and is somewhat intelligent and fairly goodlooking. Yes you should settle for such a person and encourage them to be more awesome cause they sounds pretty well put together as a group. Link to comment
jazzykat Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 a lot of the 'woman' stuff you say is the reason i think you are single. part of it anyways. hard to tell when he's stirring or serious..? Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 hard to tell when he's stirring or serious..? CP * hugs JazzyKat here have a cookie Link to comment
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