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How can I convince him to try... to give me one chance?


Cool2bjess
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I really would appreciate your help,

It's my fault. My ex and I....we dated for 2 months...and some may think this is only a short time...but I've known him for awhile. Anyways, he's my first love. I love him so much!

My problem is....over the last week or so I was sick, I had a major cold sore, and i was a wreck. My relationship with my boyfriend fell from madly in love....to loss of love on both sides. He went away last weekend with his parents, and I really missed him.

Anyways, when he got home I felt that the relationship had gotten stale...so i told him we needed to talk. I asked him if he was happy to be with me or simply to have a girlfriend. I told him I didn't love him anymore. Slowly he became convinced that he didn;t want to be with me anymore.

The problem is, I was reckless and stupid. I didn't realize how much he really means to me....I still love him. You don't realize how much until that person is gone.

I wrote him a note saying I was wrong...that I wanted to try..that I'd rather try a hundred times to work it out than be without him.

He however, has decided he no longer wants a girlfriend. I spoke to him (upset on the phone 3 days in a row) and tried to convince him that we should try to fix this. He said I made a good argument..but that he just didn't want a girlfriend anymore. We barely talk in school now...just "hey" and then I find myself calling him or slipping notes in his locker....I keep telling myself if I try hard enough I can get it. I've never wanted anything more in my life.

I know I was stupid....it's all my fault....but I love him soo much..and I've been with him through alot....and I need him.

We're going to the movies tomorrow night as "friends". It's probably my last chance to change his mind. What do I do? I've talked the subject to death...tried pretty much every angle.

After all we've been through how could he "not want a girlfriend?". About a week and a half ago we were soo in love. We can get it back if we try....we both agreed that if we try we can.

How can I convince him to try....to give me one chance?

Please don't tell me to move on...or that there are plenty of other fish in the sea....I found my fish...I need him. Please help, I'm dying inside.

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Hello Cool2bjess

 

Ok, read carefully, and your understand.

 

 

When you broke up with him, he was hurt, you hurt him! he had trust in you to not be able to do such a thing, and you broke that trust.

 

He may not even understand why he doesnt want to be with you, but its fear.

 

now here is something important, do not try an convince him how much you love him!!! Il repeat, stop trying to show him and make so much effort to get him back!!

 

because he is not ready! and by pushing hard on him, you are making him feel bad and guilty because he sees how much you want him, but he plain isnt ready. do you understand this? by acting hurt and looking desperate you will push him further away. maybe even to the point where he does something that will ruin your chances forever!!

 

So when you go to the movies with him, do it as friends only, ONLY!!! dont talk about how you miss him, dont say you want him back, dont tell him you made mistakes, hes heard all that already, he knows it.

 

Just have fun together, be buddies for now, dont give not one indication that your hurt.

 

You need to let him deal with what you did to him, this will take time. you have learned a valuable lesson, on how not to take someone for granted, many relationships break up because of this. now you are learning another. dont act hurt, dont beg, dont act desperate, he knows you want him back, and if you give him a chance, he may come back to you, but your too busy pushing him away, by making him feel guilty for not being ready.

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