Cool2bjess

I really would appreciate your help, It's my fault. My ex and I....we dated for 2 months...and some may think this is only a short time...but I've known him for awhile. Anyways, he's my first love. I love him so much! My problem is....over the last week or so I was sick, I had a major cold sore, and i was a wreck. My relationship with my boyfriend fell from madly in love....to loss of love on both sides. He went away last weekend with his parents, and I really missed him. Anyways, when he got home I felt that the relationship had gotten stale...so i told him we needed to talk. I asked him if he was happy to be with me or simply to have a girlfriend. I told him I didn't love him anymore. Slowly he became convinced that he didn;t want to be with me anymore. The problem is, I was reckless and stupid. I didn't realize how much he really means to me....I still love him. You don't realize how much until that person is gone. I wrote him a note saying I was wrong...that I wanted to try..that I'd rather try a hundred times to work it out than be without him. He however, has decided he no longer wants a girlfriend. I spoke to him (upset on the phone 3 days in a row) and tried to convince him that we should try to fix this. He said I made a good argument..but that he just didn't want a girlfriend anymore. We barely talk in school now...just "hey" and then I find myself calling him or slipping notes in his locker....I keep telling myself if I try hard enough I can get it. I've never wanted anything more in my life. I know I was stupid....it's all my fault....but I love him soo much..and I've been with him through alot....and I need him. We're going to the movies tomorrow night as "friends". It's probably my last chance to change his mind. What do I do? I've talked the subject to death...tried pretty much every angle. After all we've been through how could he "not want a girlfriend?". About a week and a half ago we were soo in love. We can get it back if we try....we both agreed that if we try we can. How can I convince him to try....to give me one chance? Please don't tell me to move on...or that there are plenty of other fish in the sea....I found my fish...I need him. Please help, I'm dying inside.

To anyone that will help me out: I recently broke up with my boyfriend, my first love and it's really ripping me apart. We met when a mutual friend gave us eachother's screennames, after about 2 months of chatting back and forth and really connecting we agreed to meet at the local mall (he lives about 40 mins away from me). We really hit it off, and had an awesome relationship for 2 months. I was soooo happy, we're perfect together, and he just made my life everything I ever wanted. However, there are some down sides to the relationship. Mainly that I'm 15 and he is 17 (18 in a week). He's goin down to New York city (about 100 miles away) for a job this summer, and then in November he ships out to join the Marines. We both new this, and I asked him from the beginning how we'd handle all that. He said we'd deal with it when it comes, and that he loves me. Everything was great until about 5 days ago. It was a friday, and we didn't get to see eachother. (he always came up on weekends and some weekends after school) He had a baseball sports awards banquet to go to (he's graduating high school). That night he mentioned that a kid in his town committed suicide because he was dating an under-aged girl and the mother was stalking this guy and he couldn't take it anymore. My boyfriend mentioned that he knew this kid, and he started mentioning that he was having doubts, because if he got arrested (he's almost 18) then he can't be in the Marines. I cried and he begged my forgiveness, he said he was just thinking about it, and that he'd bring it up at a better time. The next day he picked me up from work, and we rented a movie to watch at my house. We were home alone and watching the movie and he started crying. He kept saying stuff like he felt sick because it was driving him crazy. And that I'm the only thing he cares about so why should three years matter (mind you I'm not sleeping with him so what's he gonna get arrested for?) We cried together for a few hours and he kept saying things like lets take a break and be good friends and see how much we mean to one another. He didn't want to make a decision that night, so he said he'd see me the next day. He kept kissing me and saying he loves me and that this is killing him. The next day I cried all day. When he picked me up he drove me to a secluded place and explained that he had found out that for his job this summer he won't even be able to come home on most of the weekends. Then he said stuff like, I'm goin to bootcamp soon for 13 weeks and then the Marines is 4 years of his life. He asked was I ready to be with him for 4 years? Would I love a guy I met when I was 15 and want to be with him while he was never around for 4 years? I cried and he took me home....assuring me that he wanted to be my friend. I said I wasn't sure about the friendship (I am truly crushed) and that he couldn't contact me for a week at least so I could get over him. He dropped me off (both crying). It took about an hour after he dropped me off for me to call his cellphone. I knew I shouldn't have, I couldn't even follow my own 7 day rule. I should've called a friend.....but the sad part is he has BECOME my best friend. My best GIRL friend wouldn't understand. He was happy to listen to me....and said we could always be friends. It's not the same. The next day I called him, begging him to take me back. I could handle him being away. I was willing to make it work. And if he really loves me shouldn't the age thing not matter? He said he had to end it now because it would just be harder later if we waited to breakup. I begged him to reconsider. He won't. He said that when he leaves for bootcamp he'll be leaving behind his family, his friends and he doesn't want to have a heartbreak to deal with too. I have been crying so hard. It's been almost 2 days, and he hasn't called. I don't want to be the stalker girlfriend who can't let go...so I told him to call me and that he has to make the effort in our "friendship". I've tried to move on, I've hung with friends to get my mind off him. But it's just that everything reminds me of him. And it hurts soo bad. I can't bring myself to take off a necklace he gave me....and i look at his picture alot. I've already heard all the there's plenty of fish in the sea so move on stuff. But everytime the phone rings i have this bit of hope that its him. Is there ANYTHING I can do? I mean I honestly would give anything just for one more day with him Is there a solution to this? Please....I'm dying inside.