Venting over a jerk "boyfriend"

[TroubledTwenties]

This is probably going to be a long post so please bear with me...

 

I was dating my now ex boyfriend for two years. We broke up, and have gotten back together several times. September 25th of this year, we broke up for the most recent time. He started going out with a girl almost immediately following, (they had gone on their first date, before he and I had officially broken up).

 

I was doing the whole "leave him alone so you can deal with your own feelings" thing for about a month. That was up until I got sick. I got sick and was put in the hospital for a day, and he called, because he hadn't heard from me. After that he called regularly to check in with me, and we started hanging out. I knew it was probably not the best thing to do since for me to fully get over him I need to have total space from him. Anyhow, we started hanging out, and eventually it was getting to the point that I saw him just about every day, if we only saw each other for half an hour. He would always tell me that he was unhappy in his relationship, and how he was going to end things but he just needed the right time.

 

It's been about a month since he said that, and we've still been hanging out. Now, I'd like to think that I'm not a bad person, but I know that what I'm doing is not right, I mean I wouldn't like it if it was my boyfriend seeing some other girl behind my back. I've been feeling really depressed lately, and crying almost every night before I go to bed. I think to myself that if he really did love me that he would just end things with his girlfriend (he defines me feeling that way as pushing him to break up). Also, he says that he'll do things when the timing is right, and that I can't push him to do anything, that his gf is a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, what's he supposed to say when she asks why, that things are just out of the blue.

 

Now I've also thought about that, and I think if he had any kinda manhood he would just tell her flat out that he's not happy if he truly isn't, and if he loved me as much as he said he did he would value my feelings and see that I'm not happy in the situation, apparently he doesn't see it that way.

 

Whew, basically all I'm asking is for anyone's input on this situation. Thanks a lot, and take care!

[Gilgamesh]

Lets see if i got this:

 

was dating my now ex boyfriend for two years. We broke up, and have gotten back together several times

 

he says that he'll do things when the timing is right, and that I can't push him to do anything, that his gf is a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings

 

look at those two lines, seems he has no problems breaking up with you now doesnt it? I guess he doesnt think your feelings are important.

 

but I know that what I'm doing is not right, I mean I wouldn't like it if it was my boyfriend seeing some other girl behind my back.

 

that quote says everything about what is wrong here, you seem to blame the girl for taking the guy away from another girl, as if men have no free choice and its never their fault. you feel guilty because you feel you are the one that has "so much power" that you can steal this man away from this other girl. well let me tell you something, the reason you can is because he is a self centered lying cheat, he lies to this other girl, he lies to you, he hides behind that other girls back, who knows what hes hiding from you, this is what you call a prize? if he is capable of doing it to her, he can and will do it to you.

 

wake up.

[lunatic]

Damn Gilgamesh,

 

I think that was the harshest post I have ever seen on this forum from you. I wont say that you are not right about this one though. I can honestly say that you are on the ball here.

 

TroubledTwenties,

 

Listen here sweety you are being played by this jerk. Wake up (as Gilgamesh said) and smell the coffee. This guy really wants you to be in his life the thing with the ex would have been over a while ago. He is lying to you and he is playing on your feelings. I would call this one a preditor and his type RUINS it for all of the nice guys out there. These preditors are only out for one thing and can you guess what that is??? YOUR BOOTY!!!

Wake up, heed our calls and lose this selfish jerk right away before you go any further.

 

Sorry about the honesty but, I will only tell it like I see it. Hope I am wrong here but, coming from a males point of view it has way too many pointers to being played. This guy wants his cake and eat it too.

 

-Hubman

[Michelle03]

I agree also. If he is seeing you behind his girlfriends back, what makes you think that he wouldnt do it too you if you got back together? I know it is hard, but i think this guy is a jerk. He has his girlfriend, and gets to see you too. Thats what guys like. Believe me. I once dated a guy, who I really liked, before me, he had dated an old friend of mine from a while back, one day she called me up to say hi. We started talking about guys and told her who I was seeing, he had slept with her after a party the week before. Also, if he started dating this girl before you were even officially broken up, hes a jerk and not worth your time hunny!! Find a man that wants to be with you and only you, dont wait around for him too come back. It will be hard, but you can do better, and u definatly deserve better!!!