anybody here who hates/doesn't like sex?

[WoundedHeart]

I really don't want to be 40 until I start to enjoy sex. No offense but that is way too old and and too long for me to hate sex. Seriously, most girls in my age group at the very least like it (they may not love it) and can get something out of it. I don't at all. The moment I am penetrated I feel spaced out and there is absolutely nothing I can do to even make it better or remotely feel good. No matter how I rock, or what rhythm I try it sucks. I feel like I am just doomed. No guy is gonna want to put up with this, so I don't even think about dating or go anywhere. I hate my vagina and everything about it. I don't know why my body has to react this way

 

It still comes down to finding the right partner ,no matter what age you are . When you find the "one " ,you will know it . I am going to be blunt here ,but have you ever thought of exploring your own sexuality on your own ,such as with toys ,to see what you do enjoy ? How can we expect a partner to please us when we are not even sure what pleases us ? I feel it is important for every woman to know her body and what her likes and dislikes are .

[tiredofvampires]

I feel like I am just doomed. No guy is gonna want to put up with this, so I don't even think about dating or go anywhere. I hate my vagina and everything about it. I don't know why my body has to react this way

 

A guy does not have to "put up" with your vagina not feeling anything. YOU do. A guy is going to enjoy the sensations he's feeling, he's not the one with a perceived problem. And, if you -- like MILLIONS of women who don't feel much or orgasm with intercourse -- were to just go along with this part of sex and enjoy the closeness of your body, the feeling of his joy and energy and just leave the orgasms for your oral pleasure, there would be NO PROBLEM HERE for ANYONE to "put up" with. This has come down to you taking a less-than-desirable situation (I admit it would be great if we could all enjoy penetration so much) and blowing it into such an ungodly distorted shape with your perceptions that you can no longer see straight. Do you really want to live like this kind of hell? You say you don't want to live until 40 not liking sex, but RIGHT NOW you are making liking anything out of the question. You're miserable. You can't be a miserable person and truly enjoy much.

 

I don't want to minimize your problem, but you know when you say you "hate your vagina and everything about it", I have to say, this hatred is a very deep feeling reverberating about and within your whole being.

 

Also, you know from my other postings that I am not saying this without serious experiences of my own to back this up. All my years in the 20's that I spent wanting someone else's body, WASTED. You have it in your power to create a ruinous reality here or turn towards something else. Demanding that your body be different and beating the * * * * out of it mentally is the former route.

 

Did you say you couldn't afford counselling? Because every time you post, I feel more and more concerned for your state of mind. You reflect a complete detachment from your body, a hollowness in your heart for yourself and a vacuum of ability to connect healthily with intimate partners. Your damage, I'm sorry to say, is far past your vagina. ResonanceTheory got it right, and you need to work some issues out with a professional in my opinion.

 

I'm going to tell you something that is probably going to go over your head, but when you hate a part of your body this much, you are going to create a physical disorder. Right now you don't have one, you have a variation of female response that you are comparing to other women, and this comparing has become TOXIC to your mind and spirit and that is going to affect you physically. I know what I'm talking about -- I myself have developed some health issues in areas of my body that have some symbolic significance in my life. This is not to say that everything we experience medically is something we caused by thinking, but you have no idea how powerful the mind is. When you reject a part of your body this long, believe me, your whole nervous system starts to direct "destruct" messages to that tissue. I am dead serious. You body listens to everything your subconscious mind tells it, and follows along. So if you are hating your body this much in areas, soon you will find that just as you are not making friends with it and making it an enemy, so it will make an enemy out of you. And when that happens, you may find yourself desperately wishing again for the "good ol' days" when "all" you had to deal with was a lack of vaginal sensation upon penetration. This probably is going in one ear and coming out the other, but believe you me, this is what happens and will if you keep this thinking up without seeking an alternative perspective.