Advice/Comments/Help?!

[rjm0827]

Ok so me and my g/f broke up somewhere near the 10th of Dec. We had been together for 5.5 years. It was mainly b/c I was an * * * * * * * and took her for granted. For the first week~ or so we didn't talk. After that we talked ever 2-3 days for maybe a minute tops. Nothing serious, just keeping in touch. She was at home for break when all this was going on. Well the break ends and she comes back to school and we don't talk for the first few days she is back b/c we got in a huge argument on New Years. Well we eventually talk and everything gets smoothed out and we are friendly again. After this we would talk every few days and we hung out together a few times as well. I stayed strong and she broke down a few times saying she is scared she made the wrong decision and blah blah. I think a lot of this had to do with us just not being together for awhile. Anyway things are going ok for a week or so with this kind of behavior being normal. Fast forward to now. The past week and a half or so we have been talking just about everyday. We have been spending a lot of time together and staying over. Contact being made by both of us, both of us wanting to do stuff together. Neither of us being pushy towards the other. She has told me numerous times how much she loves me and all that jazz. She told me we would be back together now but she just had to make sure it was the right thing first. I totally agree with this. Well last night I stop by and we get to talking. I can tell she is acting kinda different. Well she says that us being together so much is too much, which is true. The whole reason we broke it off was b/c she needs time to see if this is what she really wants and I agree us being together isn't given her that time but why is she wanting to do stuff? I'm confused, she initiated atleast half of everything that has been going on between us. I know for a fact she has enjoyed every minute of us being together as she and others have told me. I'm confused as hell. Her parents just separated and I think this may have something to do with it. She constantly says she never wants that to happen to her. I also asked her if she is scared that I would go back to the way I was and the way I treated her. She says that she is b/c it has happened before. Honestly though I have stepped back and changed who I am and how I act. She notices it and comments on it often as well as others. She has never lied to me and she says there isn't nobody else at all so I am fairly certain this is true. I know we are moving too fast and we need to back off, but I also think she is truly scared of giving it another chance. She saw herself getting to envolved with me again and made herself step back even if that's not what she wants, she thinks that what she needs. I think it was going too good if that's possible? We were getting along so well. I thinking that she honeslty thinks it's all a front just to win her back. She just kinda gives me false hope I supose, but whats worse is she says everything she does she means and doesn't want to be confused with her just leading me on. So how do it take that? She tells me if/when we get back together she wants it to be forever and all this other stuff. I guess this is a vent more than anything. Please give me advice, comments, ask questions. Thanks guys.

 

Edit: Also, she said she saw us hanging out more as friends this past week+. I asked why we were being so intimate etc.. and she said she loves me and all that and she saw it getting to serious and thats why we need to hang out less for now. I told her I could never be a friend to her unless I knew that there could be a chance. That I can't be her friend if there is never any chance b/c it would only hurt me worse. Her comment was she couldn't say there wouldn't be another chance, just not now. And that she still wants to hang out. She even made the comment that every few days would seem good. Which in all honesty is still kinda frequent.

[Lionel Hutz]

I can't be her friend if there is never any chance b/c it would only hurt me worse.

 

That is an indicator that you dont want to be dragged along. That is what is kind of happening. She is still in control of your emotions, which is not a bad thing, but do you like all of the question marks. I'd back off and let her decide. I am in this situation with my ex. I dont talk to her unless it is important. I did text her last week since in met our favorite musician but nothing about our relationship at all. Back off, no intimacy and dont even talk about getting back together anymore. If you told her once and she undertsands english she knows what you want. Let her decide now but dont influence her. Eventually if things are not moving at the speed you want frustration will brew and she will get uneasy and bail. Give it some time, it sounds like she is on the fence.

[rjm0827]

I think she wants it to work but is scared it will just be the relationship that made her want to brake up in the first place. I don't want her to base her decision off of this but don't know what I could do to prove to her this isn't the case. The times we have hung out it was great, but it think that she thinks it's all a front and that I haven't changed.