Yet another terrible issue

[Metallica Lightning]

Just after thought the dust had finally settled and things were somewhat back to normal...

 

If you've been following my threads, you'd know that Paul (my son) decided to live with me after Brooke (my ex), Jason (me ex's soon to be ex), and I had come together in terms of agreement. Jason and Brooke decided to move to California, bought a house and everything and headed that way not long ago. Three days later, I come home from work late to find Paul, and Brooke in the living room. Pretty big surprise if you ask me. I talked to Brooke in my room, she had caught Jason cheating on her with a much younger woman, and he kicked her out. Personally, I wasn't surprised. But anyway, getting to the main point, Brooke (who is by this time sobbing) tells me she is in love with me again and wants to have a family like we used to. So I let her stay the night and whatnot, we got up, made breakfast and all sat down at the same table for the first time in a while. It felt good, but not right.

 

I have a double mind about this. Either she really is still in love with me, or she is just saying that because she'll think I'll cave in and support her. I do care about her because she is the mother of my children, but I'm not in love with her anymore and I surely won't be supporting her financially.

 

How can I handle this delicately?

 

 

 

 

Kane.

[southerngirl]

Tell her that you are sorry, but you do not think that you can go back in time. Be there for her as a friend.

 

It is possible she is only saying this looking for a way out of the mess that has become her life.

[KG]

Sounds like you're the rebound guy...be her friend, not her lover.

[NO1GR8r]

What I find intersting in the matters of the heart and finances is that this is a common situation that you speak of when our own children are involved.

So, here's what I would do in this situation: Take care of your children by setting up their own bank accounts that you deposit directly into and give them debit cards and set some rules or guidelines for everyones expectations.

Once all the rules are in place and you laid the law, step back...they will come for boosters, but be firm with the reasons you oblige their request and refuse as well.

Don't have them thinking that you are sending them on a spending spree. This will keep your ex out of your pockets with lines like: "The children need/want this and that..." And she won't run off and buy a new car, clothes or house with her "mad money." Oh yeah, MAD MONEY - for shopping and/or getting away from abusive relationships...some women have these "accounts." Ask other women about it.

Feel me?

 

Good luck

 

Now, I am off to do some laundry in hot water to get them white socks clean.

Anyone have any Woolite ™?

LOL

[Atticus90]

She's probably just looking for some support. Or just a rebound.

I wouldn't fall for it.

for now, i'd let her stay until she can find a place on her own.

[YeahOkWhateverIguess]

She's probably just looking for some support. Or just a rebound.

I wouldn't fall for it.

for now, i'd let her stay until she can find a place on her own.

 

 

I agree.. but in her defense, if she is in love with you for real, time will tell. But you dont want to get the kids used to her being there too. Let her stay but after she gets on her feet, separate and watch her actions.

[Metallica Lightning]

I did that long ago. Thanks though

 

I'm letting her stay another week until she can get her old job back, and find a house. I told her though, after a week I don't want her in my house anymore. I don't think she is really in love with me because my wife is like one of those girls on Laguna Beach. Money first, status second, doing her part...Last.