afc_2_dj Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 We always hear on this and other sites that when a girl looks at you, smiles at you, etc [any kind of IOI] that you should move in, start a conversation, ask her to dance, etc. Unattractive guys know this is a problem, as being unattractive naturally means no IOIs [as no women are interested!!!]. I'd like to hear from unattractive guys how they managed to get past this? What did you do/say/etc to women to get their attention away from the good-looking guys and interested in you? [and I don't mean how do you get the hottest HB11 to talk to you, I mean just averge everyday women] Link to comment
phoenix91 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 there personality of course... Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 What does IOI mean? Link to comment
afc_2_dj Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 Sorry, IOI - Indicator Of Interest, a look, smile, etc Link to comment
Taking The Lead Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Maybe it's not about your physique. Perhaps the secret to seduction is nothing more then a smile here and there. ... Look bottom line, girls are going to be attracted to guys that are more open and friendly. Look at homosexual men. Aren't they always with females and not males? They don't sit around and flirt with them, they get to know them, be friends... etc.. When it comes down to it, looks aren't everything. Link to comment
afc_2_dj Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 there personality of course... LOL! I should have expected that! I guess I was looking more for specifics. I have no problem speaking with people, but guess find it really hard to start a conversation with a random women when you really have nothing to say to her. And of course getting the "ew why is this ugly guy talking to me" look also doesn't help much!!! Its a stupid question really, of course one can't give specifics. I think my always-find-an-anwser personality just can't accept women don't find me attractive, have no reason to give me a chance when there are tons of better looking guys all around for her to give a chance to. Plus thinking about it my string of first-date-only [with no photo] online meetings points to either my personality or looks being flawed, so without either I am screwed. I just can't seem to accept that I am not attractive to women and give up. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 The difference between an unsuccessful unatractive guy and a successful unatractive guy is quite easy to see: The successful unatractive guys don't think that they're unatractive at all... Link to comment
kevinm Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 How about a little more confidence? Like you're walking into a date already planning on failure. It's not always about what you talk about, more so HOW you do it. Of course other things help too... nice clothes, money, etc... but those are superficial. Some women will be drawn by that. You can't always help what "things" you have, but you can show that you take care of the things you do have. In other words, you don't have to have a big house, but keep up on the yard, have a clean house inside, definitely have a clean toilet... just take care of the things you have. That does include "YOU" too, take care of your body, eat well, etc. -Kevin Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Look at homosexual men. Aren't they always with females and not males? They don't sit around and flirt with them, they get to know them, be friends... etc.. Homosexual guys do so well with meeting women because they aren't trying to sleep with them - they are not attracted to them. There is no "trying" there so they can just be themselves. Think of how easy it is to chat with or meet women who you are not attracted to or if they are solidly attached to someone else - the pressure is off - there is no options available so we are more relaxed. Women love gay guys. Why? because they are not hitting on them and there is no possibility of "entanglements" or obsessive pursueing or whatever. They get the male company and attention without having to deal being "slobbered" on. It's too bad lesbians aren't as friendly to straight guys. I'd love to hang out with some women who are completely off the table as far as romance goes. Most of the lesbians I've come into contact with seem to hate men. As far as unattractive guys getting lucky is concerned. Another poster said it exactly right - they don't know they are unattractive. They have confidence. It's the same reasons that "jerks" do well - thickskinned, not afraid of rejection. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 OP, what is for you "sucessfull with women"? Sleeping with new one every week? Endlessly dating? A marriage? LTR? P. Link to comment
melrich Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Unattractive guys know this is a problem Successful unattractive guys don't think they are unattractive. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Gay men tend to be better looking than a lot of straight men, too. They dress nicer, take care of their appearances more and tend to work out more. Mostly anyway. Women like men who do that sort of thing. No one wants to be seen with a fat slob who has grease stains all over his unfashionable, out-dated rags he calls clothes. Gay men also have more in common with women, so they can connect more on a deeper level than most men can with women. Yes, it is a cruel irony that gay men have these attributes. I had a gay roomate for a few years and woman after woman commented to me that he was "perfect" except for the gay part. I would try to "step up to the plate" if I could. Usually failed though...but sometimes... Gay men often have more disposible income due to no children/child support etc etc. Plus it seems easier for gay men to find other gay men. Gay guys seem to cut out alot of the head games and dating "song and dance" ritual that women seem to love putting men throught. At least that's what it is in my experience. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Plus it seems easier for gay men to find other gay men. Gay guys seem to cut out alot of the head games and dating "song and dance" ritual that women seem to love putting men throught. I bet they do since no woman is involved in that future couple ;-) Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 OK, here goes... I have never thought of myself as unattractive, just VERY average looking. So I feel that I can answer this, because there are so many other better looking guys out there than me, and yes I am not the one that is first looked at and smiled at in a social gathering... Confidence is key, as another person posted. To gain that confidence, you must do all that you can to be the best you can be. Get your body in shape-that is a HUGE deal for a confidence builder-to be fit, strong, muscular, and look good in the nice clothes that you wear... It's sad to have to work so much harder than the truly handsome guys, but that's the way it is-they can show up with a 2 day stubble and dressed super casual and girls will still flock to them...but I have no envy there-it's just the way it is. But do all you can do to be the best you can be, and that's where confidence comes from. Work hard to be a good person, work hard to stay in shape, work hard to present the best outward appearance, work hard to be successful in your career, work hard to be a great friend, parent, whatever. And smile and laugh a lot. If you do all these things, you will no longer be the "unattractive guy". You will be the person that everyone wants to be around. And that is where you will find the girls that value these wonderful qualities over just looks alone... Hope that helps-all I can say it has worked for me. I have always seemed to have dated women that are, looks wise at least, FAR out of my league... Link to comment
MaNg0s Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 I don't know if I am unattractive or not I mean my ex said I was but then she left me so who knows lol. But the main thing is confidence but not to be over confident. I know this because I am not successful lol but my best friend is he is amazing with girls and its just because he is so confident and open with girls. Link to comment
someguy88 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 While I wouldn't class myself as unattractive, I know that I'm average. To make up for my average looks I try to dress better than other guys and be more affable. Also, women love confidence, even if it's just an act. As an average looking guy I can't afford to sit on my hands in hopes that she'll give me a signal that's she's interested. I don't have the luxury of attracting women on a purely physical level so I have to be really aggressive and work to build her attraction for me. The key for me is to be more charming, ballsy and fun than other guys. Most women I've been with told me they were attracted to my confidence/cockiness. They like guys who can put on 'show' and act the role of a man's man. Link to comment
Dako Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 If you convince yourself yu're unattractive, it might influence your behavior. I also agree that successful guys don't do this. -Homely Dako Link to comment
robinhood Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Successful unattractive guys aren't unattractive at all. They prove it by being successful. Link to comment
Dako Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 The other option for those who consider themselves "unattractive" or whatever would be to date others within that "league" or same level of looks. Seems rude to avoid someone's company just because they're too attractive. I used to do that, and it was just silly. Link to comment
phoenix91 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 If you approach a girl thinking she'll reject you before you even talk to her won't help, you need to have some confidince, also smile to random girls, flirt, tease,joke, even if you don't know them, or maybe i should say "especially if you don't know them", first conversation should be very interesting, because you'll get to know her, you'll tell her "new jokes"... Link to comment
phoenix91 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 one more thing, thinking that you're unattractive shows low self-confidence... Dude, you need to believe in yourself before you even talk to a girl... Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 exactly! And that's why you need to follow the advice I gave earlier and others have given-you have to be confident, then everything else falls into place! Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 We always hear on this and other sites that when a girl looks at you, smiles at you, etc [any kind of IOI] that you should move in, start a conversation, ask her to dance, etc. Unattractive guys know this is a problem, as being unattractive naturally means no IOIs [as no women are interested!!!]. I'd like to hear from unattractive guys how they managed to get past this? What did you do/say/etc to women to get their attention away from the good-looking guys and interested in you? [and I don't mean how do you get the hottest HB11 to talk to you, I mean just averge everyday women] humour is the only way or you can have lots of friends and or lots of money. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Basically you need to say something interesting and make her laugh at the right time. It is incredibly difficult to do. Link to comment
phoenix91 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 humour is the only way or you can have lots of friends and or lots of money. humour is the best way, but not the only one... Link to comment
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