Lookin at other people? opinions please?

[kirsty]

Hiya again

 

Can I just ask if anyone has issues with their partner looking and admiring the opposite sex? I hate it when I think my boyfriend finds another woman attractive and I feel cheated by the thought of him looking at other women when he is out with his mates.

 

What goes through a blokes mind when they look and how to othr ladies feel about this? Would help to hear your views?

 

Thanks

[lunatic]

Men are pigs and we can't help ourselves. As a male I can say that I don't even realize that I am doing it. We don't mean to be direspectful by doing it but men are visual creatures by nature.

[S4il]

Good point hubman1, i think that says it all, we don't really realize we do it, it's kind of like the discovery channel when you see a Male lion with his female, and another female lion walks by, he looks at her Butt...i swear to god i saw that last night on TV, the lion was checking out a BUTT of another lion...and then he sniffed it...i was like OMG he is a male Lion S|ut, but hey, you can't control that really unless you have him whipped bad. (idea) next time you see it happen, just say "lion" he wont know what your talking about but it will bug the crap out of him, and he will wonder why your saying it...but the best part is you NEVER tell him. he will figure it out sometime.

[avman]

As hubman said, we simply can't help ourselves. Its biological. The fact that he might find another woman attractive does not mean he finds you unattractive, or finds her more attractive than you. Also it does not mean he has any intention on acting on his impulse.

 

As a friend of mine was fond of saying "I'm married, not blind".

[doorik]

1) i wear sunglasses so she notices less

 

2) i don't care if she looks at other guys because i know she thinks other

guys are attactive

 

3) if u r that insecure about it u have to find a way to deal with it because

we all do it

[Down-In-A-Hole]

I'm a male and I think it's ignorant for all these other males here to label every guy as doing that. I don't do that when I am with a girl. I'm not saying it is wrong to do that by any means either. It's just that once I am in love with a girl I don't find other girls attractive in that sort of way. However, objectively, I can tell if there is an attractive girl around, but I will never lust for her and give her any more attention than any other person I see on the street at the time.

[kirsty]

Thanks down-in-a-hole that helped me a lot. Eeven though all these other guys pretty much say that they do lust after other women then your answer showed me you are NOT all alike and that even though you know whn a woman is attractive then you dont think anything more about it. Thats what my bf says he does, and to be fair he doesnt stare at other women, but because I am looking for it thn I will catch him glancing at another woman and feel so hurt and upset by it. I will try and keep your answer in my head though, thanks again x

[avman]

We did NOT say we lust after other women. Only that an attractive woman makes us look. Not leer, not stare, not drool, not imagine all kinds of things. Only look.

 

Do not put words in our mouths.

[lunatic]

AMEN Avman

[Kodos]

It used to drive me crazy thinking of my bf looking at other girls. The thing is that he didn't even do it. It isn't like I caught him or anything. Basically I made the whole thing up in my head.

 

It's all about self-esteem. If you feel good enough about yourself, you will focus on the important things in life and not fabricate reasons to feel bad about yourself.

 

Everyone is going to take a look occasionally. As long as a guy has enough respect not to be a pig about it, you shouldn't hold it against him.

[kirsty]

I apologise if I offended you but in your own words you said men are pigs, that just made me think you must lust or something more to be saying it. At the very least its disrespectful, how would you feel if your girl was doing the same back openly? Would you accept that she couldnt help it because she was female and it was natural? Maybe so but we are all different.

 

I didnt mean offence though, thanks for your replies. Makes me appreciate what I have got a little more.

[Nity]

My husband and I both look at other people. Heck, I've even had sex with one of them. Just because we're committed to each other doesn't mean that we're dead and can't admire beauty elsewhere.

 

It's not like either of us is hiding things from the other or lying about it.

[MoonlapseVertigo]

I think it's human to look at other people although I freaked when I asked my b/f if he looks at others and think they're good-looking. I accepted it though.

 

Now he he's been looking and able to picture being with them sexually and this makes me nervous because before he even felt bad if he kept looking. Then again, this is why I posted my problem. link removed

 

I think I'd rather have my boyfriend just be how it was before where he could look and think, "Hey she's hot." and let it go because now I don't know if I have something to worry about.