I feel no pleasure when I have sex

[BronzedSkin123]

I cannot derive any kind of physical pleasure from sexual intercourse. when a penis is inside of my vagina it pretty much feels nothing at all. i sometimes wonder if i have ANY nerves in my vagina at all. all i know is that a guy is in there going in and out

 

and while i do stimulate my clitoris during sex, it doesn't really do anything at all to heighten the penetration part of sex. in fact whenever a penis is inside of me clitoral stimulation is less sensitive. The only time clitoral feels really good is when I dont have any kind of penetration involved.

 

Also, the minute I have penis inside of me my mind starts to wander. I don't know why but it's like I can't focus on the moment. In my head I am trying to find fantasies that i can use to make sex pleasureable to make it feel like something.

 

I do not tell the men who i am with that I suffer from this problem. a situation in the past has led to abadonment. i usually pretend like i am really feeling something here and there..like i'll moan and dig my nails into his back a bit

 

can someone pleasure suggest a solution to my problem?? or tell me what is possibly wrong with my body??

[CrazyKing]

Have you had any bad experiences in your childhood???

[beauty21]

Does he give you oral sex?

 

Do you enjoy the sex?

 

Some men just don't know how to work it. And that may be the problem.

 

Tell him to play with your clit when you are having sex but not when he is on top.

Have sex with both of you laying on your side and him behind you. You have your leg raised enough where he can play with your clit.

 

Or tell him hit it from the back and he play with your clit from the back while he is having sex with you. Tell him to keep putting spit on his finger here and there.

[arwen]

Can you imagine sexual intercourse to be a pleasurable thing? Do you have erotic fantasies?

 

--Arwen

[BronzedSkin123]

Have you had any bad experiences in your childhood???

 

no. none at all.

[BronzedSkin123]

Does he give you oral sex?

 

Do you enjoy the sex?

 

Some men just don't know how to work it. And that may be the problem.

 

Tell him to play with your clit when you are having sex but not when he is on top.

Have sex with both of you laying on your side and him behind you. You have your leg raised enough where he can play with your clit.

 

Or tell him hit it from the back and he play with your clit from the back while he is having sex with you. Tell him to keep putting spit on his finger here and there.

 

 

I don't enjoy intercourse at all. Not physically.

 

The thing is that when a penis is inside of me my clitoris becomes less sensitive. There has been times where i have touched my clitoris only to find that it is completely numb during penetration.

[BronzedSkin123]

Can you imagine sexual intercourse to be a pleasurable thing? Do you have erotic fantasies?

 

--Arwen

 

Now that I am older I am starting to realize that it can be pleasureable. Earlier, I didn't even know women had orgasms from penetration and liked sexual intercourse. I thought most girls were like me they preferred oral sex because it feels better. Well, I guess I was wrong. Because my co-workers and girls I go to school with thing penetration is the best thing since sliced bread. That is when I realized I had a problem. Also, having an ex boyfriend telling me I wasn't normal for 'not feeling anything' didn't help either

[DivineNess]

do you have any feelings for the guys you are sleeping with? being emotionally attached to someone can make the sex feel a lot better than if you were only having sex for the sake of having sex.

[arwen]

I don't know if you're THAT abnormal, I think for a lot of women the real pleasure is a combination of vaginal intercourse, other ways of touching, oral sex, good foreplay. Do you get physically aroused there? Sorry for the blunt question I am asking because if you don't, lube could make a bit of a difference.

[demolition_lover88]

everybody is different. i personally cannot stand oral sex. it doesnt do anything for my whatsoever, its actually so bad i wont let my boyfriend do it to me.

 

i like sex, however i dont orgasm everytime. it sometimes upsets my boyfriend because he can everytime and i cant. i can only usually orgasm when im on top. i think you just have to figure out what works for you.

 

also i agree with divineness, its better if you have feelings for the person you are having sex with.

[BronzedSkin123]

do you have any feelings for the guys you are sleeping with? being emotionally attached to someone can make the sex feel a lot better than if you were only having sex for the sake of having sex.

 

Not always. But I didn't think it was necessary to have a deep connection just to enjoy the physical part of sex. Oral sex feels good whether I deeokt love the guy or not..I don't see why intercourse is any different

[BronzedSkin123]

I don't know if you're THAT abnormal, I think for a lot of women the real pleasure is a combination of vaginal intercourse, other ways of touching, oral sex, good foreplay. Do you get physically aroused there? Sorry for the blunt question I am asking because if you don't, lube could make a bit of a difference.

 

With my current partner he kinda cues for us to have sex and I get under the covers and he goes straight for it. He's not really into a lot of foreplay. Not his thing

 

then i had another guy years ago who was just into quickies i guess. He would just tell me to bend over and would force himself inside of me but he was never able to penetrate me. He said that unlike most girls, I don't get excited enough for sex. He told me that I should just be turned on by the idea of sex and ready to go.

[JeckyllNHyde]

everybody is different. i personally cannot stand oral sex. it doesnt do anything for my whatsoever, its actually so bad i wont let my boyfriend do it to me.

 

i like sex, however i dont orgasm everytime. it sometimes upsets my boyfriend because he can everytime and i cant..

Wow!! Glad to hear I am not the only one who doesn't like oral whatsoever, some guys just don't get it when I ask not to go down on me. It's not bad but doesn't do much for me.

[vagrant]

Wow..Are you really tight?

 

I don't know if I am way off base here, but could there be something inside you that the dong is pressing against cutting off circulation to your clit?

 

In my opinion, you should have who you are with, go down on you to get you off first.. then go to intercourse.....

[demolition_lover88]

im also glad to hear im not the only one

 

i've learnt to accept that its just not for me!

[JeckyllNHyde]

With my current partner he kinda cues for us to have sex and I get under the covers and he goes straight for it. He's not really into a lot of foreplay. Not his thing

 

Maybe that's the problem? My first bf was like that. He would say something like: "take off your panties" and then go straight for it. And then wouldn't last too long either. Soooo... as you can imagine, at first it was nice but I remember once just waiting for it to be over already. No foreplay, just some kissing and 5 (mostly way lesss) minutes of sex.. wow.

 

It's much more pleasurable if a guy does foreplay and then slowly works his way upto sex. Of course quickies are a whole other thing.

[BronzedSkin123]

Wow..Are you really tight?

 

I don't know if I am way off base here, but could there be something inside you that the dong is pressing against cutting off circulation to your clit?

 

In my opinion, you should have who you are with, go down on you to get you off first.. then go to intercourse.....

 

My ex was very into oral sex and used to pleasure me that way for a VERY long time--45 minutes. And it still did not make sex any more pleasureable. The minute he would penetrate me, it's like my desire went down because intercourse is not stimulating enough for me.

 

I am with someone right now who is not really into oral. He won't do it that much if at all. I am just trying to figure out a way where I can enjoy sex without being dependent upon oral because not every guy likes to do that

 

 

Maybe that's the problem? My first bf was like that. He would say something like: "take off your panties" and then go straight for it. And then wouldn't last too long either. Soooo... as you can imagine, at first it was nice but I remember once just waiting for it to be over already. No foreplay, just some kissing and 5 (mostly way lesss) minutes of sex.. wow.

 

It's much more pleasurable if a guy does foreplay and then slowly works his way upto sex. Of course quickies are a whole other thing.

 

I've had sex both ways..one with a lot of foreplay and others with not enough or any at all. With me it doesn't seem to make that big of a difference the same outcome is still discomfort or I just don't feel any pleasure at all just the pressure of a penis going in and out.

 

I even bought sex toys for penetration as a way to explore my body and it's just as bad with a partner as it is with myself.

[demolition_lover88]

Bronzedskin123 and Jeckyllnhyde: My boyfriend is exactly the same as what you described your first boyfriend to be like. Kinda frustrating =/

 

p.s sorry im unsure of how to quote

[BronzedSkin123]

Bronzedskin123 and Jeckyllnhyde: My boyfriend is exactly the same as what you described your first boyfriend to be like. Kinda frustrating =/

 

p.s sorry im unsure of how to quote

 

 

lol

 

i would like to know how some women are able to enjoy 'quickies'. i guess they can just get wet at the drop of a dime. a guy just going straight for it is very unsatisfying and painful for me. but apparently for some women they can easily get aroused. i would LOVE to be like that

[demolition_lover88]

you should try lube...although lube gets you wet. it doesnt mean you are emotionally ready for sex. and a womans orgasm is mostly emotional.

[candy604]

hrmm yeah i also wanted if a women does enjoy penetration and if they can feel anything. But I guess it's different for each person?

[doyathink]

Nope, I'm the same way. Penetration alone isn't that great to me either, and like you, I go numb too. I think it has to do with the hard rubbing on it...idk.

 

With my ex, I didn't get horny at the drop of a hat. He was boring in bed to me, so it took some time for me to 'get in the mood'...sometimes, I never did.

 

I don't orgasm from sex either. I have b4, but not with my ex.

[BronzedSkin123]

Nope, I'm the same way. Penetration alone isn't that great to me either, and like you, I go numb too. I think it has to do with the hard rubbing on it...idk.

 

With my ex, I didn't get horny at the drop of a hat. He was boring in bed to me, so it took some time for me to 'get in the mood'...sometimes, I never did.

 

I don't orgasm from sex either. I have b4, but not with my ex.

 

The hard rubbing on what?

 

also how did you orgasm from penetration?? is there a certain technique?

 

It really sucks being in my position. I swear it's like only a small minority of women who have this problem with penetration. I think its out of my control because I have used dildos and g spot stimulators and there is no kinda nerves inside of me that gives me any real response. I have even spoken to this with a few women and they don't understand at all what I am going through. They relatively enjoy sex and can feel something.

 

I am just so fascinated by women who find intercourse pleasureable. I have grown so accustomed to intercourse being boring and unsatisfying that it's hard for me to imagine it actually being good for someone else.

 

for women who can get a pleasureable response from penetration..could you please describe what you feel when you have sex?? i'm really curious..

[Honore]

I cannot derive any kind of physical pleasure from sexual intercourse. when a penis is inside of my vagina it pretty much feels nothing at all. i sometimes wonder if i have ANY nerves in my vagina at all. all i know is that a guy is in there going in and out

 

I had the same experience. Oral was great, but went somewhat numb after penetration, and found that intercourse was distracting and prevented me from feeling pleasure. Two things helped. One was holding back on intercourse until I was very close. What also helped was practicing kegels.

[keenan]

p.s sorry im unsure of how to quote

 

hit the blue 'quote' button inside the post of the person you want to quote. there are three blue boxes--it's the leftmost one.