He faked it, and then placated me when i called him on it.

[EllisBreaks]

Yes, as the title says.... that's basically all there is too it. Other than our sexual history.

 

Ugh. I hated the feeling that it left me with. I don't think i'll ever initiate sex again, until i can feel that i can preform better. After i have the baby in other words.

 

I initiated this morning, and he never finished. He told me it was good afterwards, I felt he was lying right away, and said "as good as it can me when you don't cum" He said "I did come, it was just a little though and then i kept going"... I said "Baby, it's ok, you don't have to lie.." he said "i'm not lying"

 

Next thing you know, he was on top of me and he was going at it again. I don't think he came this time either. Nothing came out, when i went to the bathroom. I felt horrible when he did that. Like he was doing it solely for my benefit. Didn't enjoy it at all. It actually made me feel really crappy.

 

When he was done, he said "there, I came the proper way" and started laughing.

 

I can't tell when he comes, alot of the time, i don't see it in the toilet either. So maybe he fakes it most of the time.

 

He masturbates every morning to porn. I think he has become conditioned to masturbating and can't come from sex anymore.

 

Either that or he just doesn't love me anymore.

 

Such a huge story to tell, too many details.

 

Anyway, has anyone ever placated you in the area of sex? How did you handle it? How did it make you feel?

[someguy88]

I wouldn't worry about it. I've been having the same problem as your hubby lately and I fake it too. I only fake it because I don't want her to think my not cumming has anything to do with her. If you really want to get him off then try to finish him off with an amazing BJ. When I have trouble cumming I usually need a ton of stimulation so when you're doing the deed try to go as fast as you can and don't stop. Even if he doesn't cum, he'll probably have an orgasm.

[KG]

Some guys just can't at various times. Pressure, mood, tiredness.

Like SG says, finish with oral. You get yours, he will too.

I wouldn't get too upset unless it's all the time.

My 2 c's.

KG

[Meow18]

I think there is more of an issue than him possibly faking it.

 

You don't think he is being honest with you. And you don't feel like you are good enough. This has been going on for awhile hasn't it?

 

Do you think that this whole issue of him possibly faking it started when you got pregnant?

 

I think you need to seriously communicate with him. He needs to be honest with why he's being so weird about sex. This is not the first post you have made regarding him being weird about sex lately and this issue will not end if you can't get honest answers from him.

[cleo_gurl]

Maybe you should start with oral and build him up from there then finish it of with sex or the other way around like someguy88 said...I wouldn't see why he wouldn't cum then.

[EllisBreaks]

Someguy88:

 

Why do you have trouble cumming? Do you think she knows that you fake it?

[EllisBreaks]

I think there is more of an issue than him possibly faking it.

 

You don't think he is being honest with you. And you don't feel like you are good enough. This has been going on for awhile hasn't it?

 

Do you think that this whole issue of him possibly faking it started when you got pregnant?

 

I think you need to seriously communicate with him. He needs to be honest with why he's being so weird about sex. This is not the first post you have made regarding him being weird about sex lately and this issue will not end if you can't get honest answers from him.

 

Yes you are right. This all started back in July when we got back together/i started showing.

 

We went through hell and back (physical abuse, lies, deception with his ex) and we got back together. I wasn't sure if he got back together with me solely for the baby's sake or not. Whether he loved me anymore.

 

I addressed the problem back then, and it made matters worse. Me addressing the problem, brang our problem out in the open, and made it worse.

 

He gave me a plethora of excuses and said "leave it alone, and it will get better on it's own" ~needless to say. It. didn't.

 

He continues to masturbate every chance he gets. The only time he makes advances on me is on the weekends when he doesn't have any privacy to masturbate @ the computer in the living room. It's always in the morning. A morning glory is what he'd call it. I'd call it a quickie hurry up and get it over with.

 

In addition to the bedroom boredom he's taken on quite the routine as well. Last week I counted 6 days out of 7 where he'd watch hockey (that's a given 3 nights out of a week, and drink beer to the point of passing out and play video games. Leaving me in our room to watch tv alone.

 

He doesn't seem to want to spend any time with me either. Every weekend with him is the same. He loses it in alcohol and video games. Downloading porn. That's what his weekend consists of. I don't nag him about, because what good what that do? It would just make him resent me more.

[someguy88]

Someguy88:

 

Why do you have trouble cumming? Do you think she knows that you fake it?

 

some medication I'm taking. I don't think she knows, but this is all new to me.

[Meow18]

You said you think he may have gotten back with you for the baby.. But you are obviously not happy in your relationship, so are you just staying with him because of the baby?

 

In a healthy and stable relationship, bringing issues out in the open should NOT make things worse. It is important to bring issues out in the open because they need to get resolved. Otherwise they just build up and turn into more issues.

 

It sounds like this whole thing could be a few things (or maybe all of them). Maybe he isn't interested in you now that you are pregnant and showing. But seriously, if he doesn't think that you carrying his baby is beautiful and special, then he is completely taking you for granted and you deserve better!

 

I think he's also addicted to porn. It has effected your sex life because it seems like he would rather do that than be with you. That is a sure sign that he's addicted. Is this really what you deserve either?

[EllisBreaks]

Yes, he's addicted to porn, as he is alcohol and pot. Just another addiction. Yet it isn't your run of the mill type porn either. Most of it i can't compete with. He doesn't watch normal porn. He won't deal with the issue. He promises everything will change once the baby is born. He's got 6 weeks! I don't think anything will change. I've become a pessimist. I fear that i will have to leave him after a while.

[EllisBreaks]

some medication I'm taking. I don't think she knows, but this is all new to me.

 

So, I have a question that i would like input from a guys perspective.

 

If he wasn't turned on by me anymore, or if he didn't love me anymore... Would that stop him from getting an erection?

 

Would he still get hard, if i approached him and started caressing him and i didn't turn him on?

 

Because he still does get hard. Sometimes even when he just kisses me he still gets hard. Be he just doesn't seem to want sex. Latley he's been asking me for alot of bjs. I refuse. for selfish reasons. If i give him a bj... then when will i get sex??? It's almost obsolete now, and if i were to pleasure him orally when when on earth do i get any pleasure?

 

He hasn't gone down on me in some time. I think it bothers him, that pregnancy has made me ... shall i say ALOT more lubricated?

[JeckyllNHyde]

Maybe since he masterbates every morning he doesn't have that much cum built up?

Pot also lowers sperm count.

[someguy88]

There are many reasons why a guy can't get it up. Some reasons are psychological and some are medical.

 

If you really want him to get off then just give him a BJ after you get off. Why don't you ask him why he hasn't gone down on you?

 

Also, is it possible that he might not be getting off with you because he's holding back because he's afraid he's going to hurt the baby? I know that sounds stupid, but that's something I'd probably worry about.

[Meow18]

Honestly, I have heard about some guys who seriously do have a fear of hurting the baby. And that can really effect your sex life.

 

But he won't hurt the baby. So maybe if you take him to the doctor with you and talk about this with the doctor, like if he can possibly hurt the baby. Maybe that will make him realize that it's ok to have sex with you still.

[EllisBreaks]

Yes, the funny thing about that (worried about hurting the baby) is that he claimed he was scared of that. It was one of his excuses back then.

 

But, if he was scared of hurting the baby, you think he'd be gentle with me the times we did have sex no? When ever we would, he never changed anything. He'd still be rough, and hard, and fast. So i looked at it as another excuse.

 

I know, i know.... You all must be thinking, "she's impossible" My self esteem and confidence has never been lower. I just feel unwanted and like everything is just a mask, to cover up his being here solely for the baby's sake. He's always wanted a child. He will be his reason for living once he's born, it's not something he could ever just walk away from.

 

But i'm conflicted. Because he does show me love. But i wonder if it's just a bigger form of placation like the example of this morning's "morning glory"

[KG]

Impending fatherhood can really stress a guy! Honest, I know!

[EllisBreaks]

Impending fatherhood can really stress a guy! Honest, I know!

 

I hope and pray that the answer is just that simple. That after we have the baby, everything will be back to normal. (in that area anyway )

 

It is a possibility though. He never had a father growing up. He worries about things he will have to deal with and teach his son far on down the road when he's in school and such.

 

His father also did damaged his siblings lives and then commited suicide... He worries incesantly about being a good father.

[ryan123]

If I wasn't turned on by my GF I definitely wouldn't kiss her...Well maybe pecks, but not making out...The idea of sharing saliva with someone you think is repulsive isn't pleasant...

 

However even if someone I found unattractive was rubbing me, I couldn't hold back an erection. Though I get erections quite easily and im almost 21...I thought that stuff only happened when you were young and going through puberty...Guess not for me.

[EllisBreaks]

Hey everyone.

 

We had another talk about it again... He got into one of his lovely sentimental loving sweet moods and he kept telling me how much he loved me and many other things. Then the topic came to sex somehow..

 

He said that he wants me all the time. I told him that it sure didn't feel like it. He said that he knows that he can't hurt the baby, but that's all he thinks about when we are doing it. He keeps thinking that he's basically having sex with his kid, because his member is so close to to him. He knows he can't hurt him, but it's a block in his head that he can't get rid of. Also alot of this time his want for me over rides it, but alot of the time it doesn't.

 

I asked him if things would return to normal after the baby came. He kind of laughed and said of course. So that makes the load (pardon the pun) on my mind alot lighter.