What would you do?

[heynowwww]

Hey everybody,

 

I have this situation with my ex now where we are getting along really well and it seems she is regretting the decisions she has made. We have been talking and getting along like we used to. I am being very cautious with her as I do not know what her intentions are. The problem is she is still in a relationship which obviously she isnt really into which she has made known to me. I think she is afraid to break up with him. I am just going with the flow at this point as I do not want to get hurt again. I want to come out and ask her what her intentions are but I also do not want to pressure her as it may be too early. What do you think I should do?

[Poe]

I think you should date other people and not wait around for her. You are making yourself too easy and too convenient, and too available. If she really wants you back, she will get off her rear and come after you. Hard. Because she owes you that much.

[LilBear]

I am being very cautious with her as I do not know what her intentions are.

The problem is she is still in a relationship which obviously she isnt really into which she has made known to me.

I think she is afraid to break up with him.

I am just going with the flow at this point as I do not want to get hurt again.

 

She is still with the other guy. Possible reasons she did not break up with him:

 

She wants to be 100% sure you'll take her back.

 

She does not want to lose him, especially if you don't want her back (see above)

 

Either way, she still hasn't broken up with him, and that means she's not going to get back with you anytime soon. Is this guy the reason for your break-up? If not, what is?

 

Don't pressure her. Let her come to you if she really wants you, and not in terms of you cushioning her fall, that is...!

[Advice]

Think you need to walk away mate. This will shock her into making the RIGHT decission. If she truly loves you, she will follow. Don't think you said why you thought she wanted you back. If she has actually said it, then she needs to commit to it, if she hasn't, then as far as i would be concerned, she doesn't. You are currently full filling a need for her and indeed, helping her gently move on to someone else. So to answer your original question, i would just walk away.

 

Good Luck Mate

[remainstrong]

agree with advice, Pull right back ASAP dont be a comfort blanket with a girl you love it will start to destroy you.

[Wandering_Sword]

As long as she is with another guy, you can't be there. Read a fellow ENAer, Insidious1's thread. It will give you the blow by blow possibilities of what is running through her head and how potentially this will knock you around. Take care.

[rokston]

Hey everybody,

The problem is she is still in a relationship which obviously she isnt really into which she has made known to me. I think she is afraid to break up with him. I am just going with the flow at this point as I do not want to get hurt again....

 

You are being cautious but not with your emotional investment in her. Your main caution is consideration for her (not pushing) and doing the best thing for you to have a chance. Your feelings for her are there and they are not being cautious.

 

In the current situation it is anyone's guess what's going through her head. You seem to think one thing. Probably her bf thinks something else. Quite likely she thinks a third thing...

 

My advice (and I wish I did this better) would be to go out and do whatever is good for you. She is not with you now and you have no need to be thinking of what's right for her. If you can handle just being her friend then ok but it seems like it may be best to give it a little time...