Should I persue my Ex?

[heyou]

Hello. ...was just wondering if any ladies could give me some advice. A few years ago, I met this wonderful woman and we had a brief 4-month relationship. Although we really didn't date very long, the relationship became somewhat serious (probably too serious) and very deep. I was 27 at the time (I am now 30), and she was 24 and turned 25 during the relationship. Ok...here's the thing, I thought we were soulmates. She was wonderful. The only problem I had with her was the fact that she wasn't quite so sure. Either I wasn't tall enough or my grammar wasn't quite up to snuff.....little stuff like that. Things that I thought would just kind of blow over with time. Although, thinking back, she really was embarrassed by it and of me.

Well, things escalated.....We had some great times and some hard times. I personally was going though a very tough period in my life, that I know effected things. I made a big deal out of stupid little things at times and I started to gain some weight, which didn't help either. I know I wasn't perfect by any means. Needless to say, I finally told her that I really needed her support, not the stress, and that if she couldn't fully commit to me then I would have to move on. She couldn't, so that was that....well kind of. Oh ya, I should say that she broke up with her first love a couple of years prior to us dating, and I know that she still had feelings for him, even though she wouldn't admit it.

Anyway, a couple of months later, she wrote me and apologized for being rude to me. My heart flipped. I still loved her, just didn't know how she felt. She kept telling me that she just cared about me as a person, but didn't love me. A few more months passed, again without any communication and I think she wrote again to see how I was doing or something. I at that time sent here these quarters as a little gift(ones that I had found that I knew she needed for her collection) and she got all confused about how she felt. We talked on the phone for a few hours that night and a few days later, she wrote me back saying she had made a mistake. I again was heart broken...but whatever. Then again, a few months later, she wrote again to wish me a Merry Christmas. I then wrote her a nasty e-mail, pretty much telling her off....venting my frustrations to her, even though I still had deep feelings for her. I know...a pretty crappy thing to do to some one wishing you Happy Holidays, but I was hurt. Anyway, she said she was sorry for confusing me again and I haven't heard from her since. I tried IMing her a couple times briefly after that but never heard back. It's been over a year and a half now, and I've tried to forget about her. I erased all of her e-mail addresses and stuff, but I still find myself thinking about her from time to time. Sometimes frequently. I don't know, maybe I'm crazy but I would like to talk with her again....perhaps she was just alittle young yet, being so critical and all. I know I was at that age. I was going though some crap at that time as well. I joined the Marines to help myself get out of the "funk" that I was in....gave up my cushy job and all. I've made some pretty major changes in my life, but yet I still think about her. What do ya think? Should I give her a call or just let it go?? I appreciate your time! Sorry this thing is so long! BYE!

[in_flux]

...sounds like she didn't really like you for you, and that there's a fair amount of underlying resentment on your part. i don't see this one working out long-term -- i think you're better off trying to start fresh with someone new ... easier said than done, i know i know, but from what you've said, getting in touch with her probably wouldn't do much for either of you.

[serena112]

It seems like she is really confused and honestly even though I don't know you I think you could do better. You deserve to have someone who is there for you and loves you for you. Give it time and I'm sure someone even better will come your way. If you ever need a friend to talk to leave me a message. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

[Cid]

Lissen to them thay are right go for someone that likes you for you.

[beagle]

I would go with the herd here.

 

Nothing that's happened since you broke up indicates that she still thinks of you that way or wants to get back together. I know it really sucks but I think you really do deserve better - this doesn't sound like love.

[kimg]

You know everyone has a type of person that they want. You were just not her type and that is ok. She seemed to have used you because no one else was around. Dont contact this girl, you will only get hurt. Move on and find someone who thinks you are their type. This girl is bad for you.