I Wonder How She Is Doing ?

[redhotchilipepper]

Hey All its been complete NC since October 6th so you could say almost 2 months. Each day seems to be getting easier and I really feel like my anger towards her is slowly fading away sometimes making me want to call her and ask her how she is doing but I dont know if its a good idea. Im confused as to whether its just me wanting to hear her voice or finding out what shes up too. I wonder if she is thinking about me or not. We stopped talking over a stupid argument but I was the one who sent out the last phone calls only to be ignored...I felt like she should have been the one to call me first but that wasnt the case. Im so confused sometimes I wish I would have have called her back the next day...and then maybe the day after that...well Im sure I will bump into her one day or maybe she will conact me in the future...until then I can only imagine how things couldve been...

[alwaysthegirlfriend]

Congrats on 2 months. I wish I was in your position. I just went NC this Monday for good this time. I would give anything to trade you places. After 2 months I think i'll be in your positions wondering what he has been doing or if he has been thinking of me and wishing he would of called me. But then reality will hit me and know that if they haven't called us by now that they might be thinking about us but if they wanted to be in our lives they would of made the effort. Maybe 2 months is just the beginning and you both are still not healed. I want to think positive and maybe after more time she will call and maybe after more time he will call me.

 

Here's to both of us getting through another day. I'm here if you need me PM anytime.

[Briella]

Hey there.

 

I know what you're going through in terms of unsure whether to call or not. I went NC for two months after a few months of living in limbo with LC. At the end of the 2nd month I was going to text him but everytime I would I just didn't. I kept saying to myself, this is just me giving in to him. I didn't want to be the one initiating it cause I wanted to prove to MYSELF more than anyone that I was strong enough to stick this out.

 

It was hard, don't get me wrong. I went through break downs where I'd think I wonder if he is thinking of me, he probably has a new g\f and I don't even know about it, what if he doesn't even remember me etc..... I think I drove myself and everyone close to me insane with all the 'what if' questions.

 

Then, I got a myspace msg!!! I don't even use myspace often but low and behold there was one from him. Nothing special. Simply said whats news, stuff about a CD that I was supposed to be recording with his friend, stuff about his exams and that was it. I was blown away. It was nothing like I dreamed about where he declares his undying love but it was a simple hello. Demanding nothing, not giving any indication that he likes me at all but for me the best part of it was the satisfaction that I stuck it out. I felt like the bigger, stronger person because I was able to stick to it. And then to top it off, I waited about a week before replying with a quick, thanks for letting me know about the recording, hope your exams went well, i've finished mine so am looking forward to holidays. And that was it. If he wasn't going to put any feelings in his then I wasn't going to either.

 

Then about two weeks later I saw him out at a pub and we had an awkward hello, a pretty good conversation and then I went home with friends and he stayed out. I wanted to stay out and 'supervise' but i acted like it was all cool and I left with dignity and pride.

 

I'm not sure the point of that really long story!!! But what I'm trying to say is STICK TO IT AS LONG AS YOU CAN!!! If you just want to see that they still think about you, of course they do. There would be little things that they would see or do that would put you in their memory, regardless of whether they wanted you there or not.

 

Even though he contacting me first wasn't that exciting because it said nothing about 'us', for me it was a milestone because he contacted me first, no matter how casual, and now we can take it from there. Trust me, you will feel like such a strong person if you stick it out.

 

Sorry for making this so long, a few glasses of wine and I just ramble. Plus I want you to be happy within yourself by staying strong!!!!

[redhotchilipepper]

Even though he contacting me first wasn't that exciting because it said nothing about 'us', for me it was a milestone because he contacted me first, no matter how casual, and now we can take it from there. Trust me, you will feel like such a strong person if you stick it out.

 

Sorry for making this so long, a few glasses of wine and I just ramble. Plus I want you to be happy within yourself by staying strong!!!!

 

Thank you your story gives me strength...the reward you get at the end of the tunnel is so much more than you could have expected because you waited so damn long...I see what you mean now. I am very serious about my NC...now that Ive cleared the hump it feels like no problem whatsoever to not pick up the phone and call her...now when I look at the pictures of us so happy together I just think of the good times and forget about the bad ones...whats the point of constantly thinking about bad times...it just gets you angry anyway...thanks so much...

[alwaysthegirlfriend]

I'm glad you are feeling better today. I am in the same boat as you to really be serious about NC. It's not about them anymore. It's about what we need to do with our lives. That we can go on. Happy Thanksgiving!

[FiShHeAd]

Yea 2 months is a big milestone, at 2 months my ex contacted me - after money!

 

I quickly stopped talking to them and now its been another 2 months... I hope they don't contact me again, but this time if they do I'll be not replying.

[redhotchilipepper]

Yea 2 months is a big milestone, at 2 months my ex contacted me - after money!

 

I quickly stopped talking to them and now its been another 2 months... I hope they don't contact me again, but this time if they do I'll be not replying.

 

What do you mean after money? Are you trying to say that they contacted you after they found out you made alot of money ?

[bluestar]

If you really love someone it won't matter how many times you need to call them, or on what day it is that you do it. Thats just about pride. If it is truly over, you want to move on, then maybe leave it. But if you feel it was left on a strange and unclear note, there is no harm in making a call to see how she is. You may gain some valuable insight at the least and you can always go back to NC.