How can you tell whether a girl is straight/bisexual/les?

[lexi19]

I've been having a crush on my TA and eversince started observing girls around me. I'm just curious as to how one can even determine whether the other person is also interested in the same sex. I mean, unless I be really really frank with her, which obviously I can't do now (since she's the TA), I wouldn't be able to know whether she would even be interested in a same-gender relationship. Can people with experience share your thoughts?

[Gunther]

.....whats a TA?

[lexi19]

a TA is Teaching Assistant, they're not allowed to have any romantic relationships with students.

[enadevoli]

if they arent allowed to have relationships with students, then i dont think it matters what shes attracted to. basically, i dont think you can know for sure about her unless you are friends. people dont normally go around saying that they are bi or gay of lesbian & no one can tell unless they make it clear.

[iLoVeCoNnie]

hun u cant tell , its how u think the person is and believeing and thinking the person is will make her lesbian?

[Cadence308]

basically, i dont think you can know for sure about her unless you are friends. people dont normally go around saying that they are bi or gay of lesbian & no one can tell unless they make it clear.

 

I second this! There are a few exceptions of people who go around advertising their sexuality, but for the most part people don't say, "Hi, I'm hetero. What are you?"

 

In general though, some stereotypes do hold true for the gay man or lesbian. Often times very masculine women with an interest in masculine careers, sports have a good chance of being lesbian. There's also been some sociological studies looking at this. But, for the most part you just have to know the person.

[itsallgrand]

yeah, you need to know the person and 'dip' in to find out. Especially if you're not only interested in obvious lesbians, but also bis or not-so-obvious ones.

 

As for the TA; time to find you another hot crush. This one is a no-go!

[Prufrock06]

I don't really think there's some kind of standard by which to tell your TA's sexuality. That being said, I agree with the others in that a relationship with a teaching assistant is probably not in your best interests -- a crush is harmless enough, but getting involved wouldn't work out in the long run.

[UT]

observ her. also go to gay friendly places where you know there are gay people and observ them as well. Its just so much easier to notice if a guy might be. we have special patters like being "manly" and macho but I do think that lesbians are more independent but looking and acting. but so is a career woman..

 

I don't know.. gay men aren't the best to answer this kind of question

[Jinx]

Like others have stated, TA is a no no and Sexuality is a pain to approach.

 

TA as you may already be aware, even if she were a lesbian or bisexual it wouldn't matter. She probably has already got the huge "Look but don't touch." lecture about interaction with students. Legally she could be removed if she were out with a student I believe and further, think its bad heterosexual scandal, imagine homosexual. Wow, that would be an extremely horribly messy matter.

 

Furthermore like Ballys said I believe it was, you have stereotypes you could always try to look for but really I've found from personal experience they don't always mean a lot. You can have tomboy deluxe over here and feminine flirty, and the one you would obviously presume a lesbian out of two ends up being incorrect. While it may be a stronger assisting indicator it doesn't always mean much at all.

 

Even then just because orientation matches up it won't mean instant attraction either. Just like our heterosexual counterparts there is that attraction ability, I'm not going to like every bisexual or lesbian woman I meet; nor shall you. Some will only be friend quality if that even, then there will be the one eventually whom presents herself as dating but still, the chemistry there or lack there of.

 

Usually we've got the whole bit of reaction to help, the nonverbal communication can be a great help - how she acts around you, her movements, looks, pupils for that even...

 

Then verbal is good too, when you find a woman you can always manage to work your way into the relationship zone of it all and see how she words things. If firmly planted in the closet, you're not going to get a lot, at all.

 

A lot of it is a guess and check game, a little chasing, a little travel, some acceptance and some rejection. While I myself am getting a tid bit better at telling lesbians I am no expert but if there is one thing I learned more interaction the better. If you join a GLBT group with a notable amount of lesbians or bisexual women you'll probably start being able to point out slight things that make them different but you can't quite put your finger on it then will be able to notice it outside of the group you know which comes in mighty handy. Anywhere you think women are, find them, socialize. It will help.

 

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