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I`m having a major dilema here. I`m a virgin and I cant decide whether to stay a virgin till I`m married or loose it to my bf. Waiting till I get married stops me getting hurt by jerks just after sex, there's no fear of STD's, pregnancy and stuff and I`ll be giving the man I'll love above all others my virginity, which he deserves. Then again do I really wanna wait that long, I mean I might get married when I`m 35! Also I believe one can fall in love a few times and that sex would enrich that love.

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If you find someone you love a lot and he really loves you, and you have been dating a while, then sex is ok, its something you share together.


you will get peeps that will respond to this and say, oh save yourself as if its some noble sacrifice.


Whats important is what makes you happy, thats it. if you feel comfortable with it, do it, if not, then dont do it. never do anything under pressure from other.


Some men and women that "withhold" them selfs usually marry their B/F or G/F too soon because they want to have sex but only do it married, so they dont date long enough, and many end up in divorce.


Virginity doesnt gaurentee a happy marriage. and frankly other than maybe making one guy feel special because you chose him to be the first, there is no other benefit to you.


Another thing, some will say, Ah but if this man loves you he will wait until he is married to have sex with you.


thats a bad argument because you could also say:


If he still wants to marry you after having had sex with you then its because he really loves you, and not because he is horney and cant wait to get into your pants.


actually the second argument makes more sense.


so really dont listen to anyone,, make your own choices when you feel its right then its ok.

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i agree gilgamesh. only you can make desicions for yourself you know what is good for you. if you feel that you love then boy enough and you don't think he will hurt you i say do what your heart feels best. sex isn't everything in a relationship and it sounds like you understand that which is a good thing. so like i said before no one can make your desicions for you. oh and if you do do it u know make sure it is safe and you don't wind up with a new little person on earth before you want one

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Hello. Super duper catholic girl here is saying 'Do not wait for marriage absolutely no'. Anybody's excitement and needs for sex are anywhere between 16 and 25, guys and girls. Today people are marrying later anyway. You want to wait until 35, good luck. You will have missed out on lots of good sex and mostly your drive will fall, like right down.


They say men have sex and fall in love and women fall in love then have sex, but don't knock it today's women are very fulfilled if their sexual needs are met and incorporated. I waited until I was 27 until I found the right guy, but by then I wasn't horney like at all when I was younger. I then ended up in a very so so (I would say boring/disatisfying sexual situation compared to when I was younger and had the nerve to fumble, take chances and make mistakes!!!!!!). I no longer had my confidence or my motivation cause I waited too long. Passion wears off anyway, so you want to wear it out early by suppressing it or delaying it. Bad move.


I regret big time that I did not take the plunge when I had more opportunity also. You learn about your physical needs (women do have these, it is not just about good cooking and kids anymore!!!!!)


I don't think you need more than 3-5 lovers in your lifetime really from a woman's perspective. I married my first boyfriend so I have no past to look on which embarrasses me. I know myself now, sex is very important in a long-term relationship. I hate to compare, but it's like in business, you need to get a few good quotes to know what the price/quality ratio is the best. You need to walk before you run. You have to make all or most of your mistakes outside marriage first because marriage and kids and a house is a major commitment. It is way harder after, trust me, read the other posts on this board.


Good luck.

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Good points Real Amour


I have also had women tell me they thougt it silly the whole "save yourself" thing and didnt think it was all that big a deal.


And yes, its kinda simplistic but, practice makes perfect.


I just didnt want to sound like im pressuring this girl into having sex, but I agree with you in that I see no reason to stay a virgin just for virginities sake, why? I just say, do it when it feels right. and that goes whether your a virgin or not.


Also what "In the Mirror" said is important, whenthe time does come to share intimacy with the person you love, make sure he wears a condom or you practice some other form of birth control.

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I'd say it's a very individual thing - it really depends on when it feels right, not just on hormones. Don't let anyone else decide for you, you'll know yourself when you really want to share that with someone. It's something you should be ready and eager to experience then, not something you'll be worrying if it's the right thing for you; until then, wait, but don't be afraid of what anyone else will think when you decide either way. It's your body and your feelings, and that's what you ultimately have to go with.

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