Why cant i be happy?

[cageduptiger]

Hey all. I am a college student and im sure that from other people looking at me they think that i have everything, well not everything, but i am well off. Not money wise... i mean i am in college, my parents are still paying for everything, im in a sorority, i have a boyfriend. Why am i not happy? I feel as though i dont know where i want to go in life, i dont know what i want to do. Im struggeling in my classes, sometimes i cant be bothered to go because i just dont want to be around people. Last year i went out all of the time and i had the time of my life! This year i never want to go out and be social. I just want to sit at home and think, stress, and worry.

Although i hate to say it, i think that my boyfriend is playing a major role in this. We started seeing each other this past july and granted things have moved really fast. I stay at his house alll of the time and my parents dont know it, and im in love with him. Somteims i just wonder if he is who i should be with. He is an amazing guy and we are good for each other. He owns his own busieness, is sucessful, and good looking. However, his wife left him this past May. I know that they are never going to get back together, but sometimes i cant help but feel like the replacement wife. I know that he loves me, but i cant help bu t have these doubts. He has to drink at least three beers a day and he will even admit that he knows he has a problem with alcohol. It's not bad, it just gets aggrivating sometimes. He doesnt get drunk, he just likes to have a good buzz...................... i feel like my post is dragging and not getting my point accross... i wll just end it here because i could end up typing all night. Someone save me

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Getting aggressive this early in a relationship only showes where things are headed. I've seen it happen to severial of my friends and even in my own family. They always say it isn't bad, and it very seldom is to begin with, but as things go on in ALWAYS gets worse. My advice is to find someone else, but I know you probably aren't going to listen to me.

[wolfy1818]

Well I think it's a little crazy for him to get involved in july when he just left a WIFE in may, but that's just my opinion. Never been married so what do I know?

 

So why do you think it's him that is bringing you down? Just because you worry about if you are the replacement or not? Respond with an answer to that and maybe I can help ya more.

 

How old are you? If you are still in college and are of typical college age, don't worry too much about the future you (we) are still young. A general idea can be good to get a major in something you think you might enjoy but as long as you get your degree you can go almost anywhere and do almost anything. A key to being happy is to be happy with you. Are there things in your life you aren't happy with? I.e. boyfriend, work, school, social life... etc? I just know that when I get down, I always end up feeling better if I work on me. Do some good for myself. Change jobs to something I like more, work out more, anything.

 

And remember, a key to happyness is to make sure to surround yourself with positive people. Negative people who bring you down you don't need to be surrounded with. Feel free to elaborate on your situation and I will read it and do that best I can to help ya out. Good luck and feel free to type as long as you want next time

 

-John

 

"When you haven't got a prayer,

You've got a prayer in me."

[Crazy8]

Okay, this guy just divorced his wife, did you ever stop to think that maybe that's why he is drinking? she was his WIFE, not just a girlfriend, I see how you can think that you are a replacement. Its very soon for him to be dating, and maybe this is the source of your problems. And about you not knowing what to do with your life in college, I get where your coming from, I go to college to, and still have no idea what I want to do with my life. But don't give up on yourself, keep on studying, focus more on school than on guys, because you have a life to make for yourself, and if this guy is interfering, then maybe its not best for you to be with him. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you make the right decision.

[daisy11769]

hey. I certainly dont know what to respond to first. But honestly I am in the same boat you are, but the only difference is I have not been to college quite yet I am in the military and just got back from Iraq. Besides that the boyfriend issues your having or at least your feeling that it might be him adding to the fuel of how ur not happy, what it sounds like to me is ur one depressed, and you didnt get there over night- I know becuz I am and I can certainly feel what you have been saying. Another thing he could very well be adding to your depression- this what the doctors told me neways is that when people are depressed they look for people who may not be the best fit for them so to speak but easy to please and make the other persons needs valued-so you dont have to deal with changing yourself. What I mean by that is that you found yourself a guy who is still in the healing process of a marriage breakup and you are indirectly using him to help take the spotlight off yourself(you not being happy) to make him happy or at least function being his backbone. If you cant help yourself people help others- thats becuz its harder to change yourself or admit that its you who might need to do the changing then trying to help someone else do it... I am not saying ur trying to help him change or nething but theres a reason why u have chosen to be with him- directly or indirectly... if your already feeling the replacement wife thing thats probably yourself telling you that.... hey red flag(this guy isnt for me)! Listen to what u were saying your answers are right there, the guy before me said it and the doctors tell me this too, you cant be happy with someone else until your happy with just being you...that means at the end of the day you are happy with who you are as a person,- sounds like and, dont worry becuz i am in the same boat, that no matter how much you have going for you in your life, it doesnt always mean that it defines that you are happy with yourself after a long day.Drop the guy and just try being happy with the things that define your character and that u enjoy doing....for you i wish you the best honestly but drop the guy and maybe go talk to someone u sound like u are depressed....

[djsquar]

look one of life's best gifts is the fact that we have the choice to choose our own paths if you set and listen to what your heart has to say it will tell you the way that you should be don't listen to other people its not worth it you will always wonder what could have happened if your heart tells you that you don't need to be with him then don't you will end up hateing the person that you listen to and yourself just listen to your heart and the school thing you know what you want to do pick something that you will enjoy there is so many things that you could do half way on getting another degree so don't worry about choosing right now you will know where you want to be take one day at a time cause that's all we have and i hope that you get better but being in love with yourself is just as important as breathing air.............. hope that you find what you are looking for if not look inside your self its always there meditation is one of the best ways to find the meaning........good luck(sorry for no punctuation

[im_the_undead]

it's the boyfriend it's the boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

same thing happened to me

love man.. it does things

[dreamwalker]

Take a step back and think what you really have and don't. You need a motivation to get all those worries away; This won't come from your compromision in the relationship with him.