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Completely Freaking!!

sunshine13

By sunshine13
in Personal Growth

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sunshine13 Enthusiast

sunshine13

Posted
Posted

I don't know if this is the correct place to post this, Hoping someone can help simmer me down!

I had my 30th birthday this past summer.

Been dating a little bit here and there but I usually end up not liking the guy or it ends up in a disaster.

Ok. . . Reason for flipping?

I want to have children. Not necessarily multiple but I want to have a child.

Good job, Own my home, Financially secure.

Always had the "dream" of being married and the family thing. Not going to happen. . .

I have woken up a few times this past month in a panic thinking that I am never going to have my own biological child.

Artificial insemination is of course and option but EXPENSIVE and my parents do not support that so they aren't going to help.

At what age do I just bite the bullet and settle for some guy, go for artificial insemination by myself or give up hope that I am going to have the ONE thing in this world that I truly want?

I feel like I am driving myself into a deep depression by obsessing over this . . . PLEASE. . ADVICE???

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

Posted
Posted

well, i will tell you something. i want that future too. but when i find a girl, and i mean a good girl, it seems they want that waaaay too fast. it makes me feel like i need to close off and run away. i feel pressured.

 

i would suggest never settling. find a guy that revvs ur engine and you feel passion for. not some guy like 'ehhh, he'll do.' i won't settle for less. ever.

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Up and Down Contributor

Up and Down

Posted
Posted
I do not WANT to settle by any means!!!!

I just feel desperate.

Guess I am a little naive when I say it is different for guys. . .It is easier to have a child later in life.

Am I wrong? If I am correct me so I do not make ignorant statements anymore.

 

Your 30 you still have many years left where you can meet the RIGHT man and have all those things. But if you come off as desperate, no man is going to want that. Its too much pressure and show's neediness.

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arwen Grand Master

arwen

Posted
Posted

Hey girl,

 

I can imagine you feel like it's about time you meet someone, but I suggest you really calm down and don't start dating because you feel you NEED to find the father of your children- don't settle for someone if your heart isn't there. By telling yourself over and over again that 'it's not gonna happen' you are not helping yourself. You will be most likely to meet someone in circles that you feel comfortable in- but maybe changing your scenery by trying a new sport or hobby will help.

 

Are you otherwise happy with your life?

 

Arwen

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Lana0120 Contributor

Lana0120

Posted
Posted

I don't think you're wrong to feel this way, You're 30 years old, your biological clock is ticking, you want to settle down and have children. That's natural and understandable. It's also understandable that you're feeling distressed that you haven't met the right man, generally, and in terms of the thought that time is running out. I just don't think you'll feel happy if you end up settling for any man. Yes, you may have a child, or children, but what will the future be like for the relationship? You have to think ahead. I think you should start saving for the treatment for the next year or two and if you haven't settled down by then, just go for it. Just don't put pressure on yourself over finding a guy.

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