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he hurts me deliberately.. and knows it

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what is a good way to relieve the stress and anger that i feel towards my ex-fiance that i work with and can't stand to look at for a moment? he is in a band and has just found out that the band will be opening for really huge bands soon. it hurts me that he doesn't invite me even though he is talking to my co-worker right accross from me but at the same time, i can't stand him in the matter that he cheated on me and hurt me badly. do you have any suggestions that would help me go about my day without having to feel hurt and/or angry at him? we are on no-speaking terms with each other so trying to have a friendship is merely out of the question. i need your help... who ever may be reading this. thank you.

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Well I would say go out there get your hair dowe and get some new cloths, change your style, become a new person and say to your self this is a new life be prod of your self,


So the next day when you go to work he can see that you have sorted your self out, don't look at him and laugh with other people show him what he missed out on, and think of it as his loss. Trust me that will make you so much better cos your looking down on him, and you feel high and top of the world.

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thank you for your input. this braekup happened back in august and i have done what you have said and i did feel a little better and all but then there are some days where he'll mention something to my coworker and i'll overhear and wish that i was there to do whatever with him, like before. the feelings seem to go around and around and i know working with him doesn't make things any easier but i'm not leaving just because he becomes a distraction at times... it's just not worth it and neither is he.


i try to hang out with friends and do things that spark my interests but that's only like a temporary solution. i think it's really difficult because we spend the last 2 years practically living together and doing EVERYTHING together and now we are not even friends. i mean, how does one go from being someone's everything to the person's arch-enemy? i don't know if things will ever get any better between us but i do wish that he wouldn't make things so awkward. nevertheless, thanks for your input... i do appreciate it.

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Well there are some positive points here that I see. You have learned the valuable lesson to never date someone that you work with, but unfortunately are experiencing the grim aftermath. I had to go through that too but fortunately the relationship I had wasn't near that intense, so I can only imagine what you're going through! It finally got so bad that I simply started looking for another job, found one, and left without saying a word to him. He has no idea where I am. Best thing I ever did!!!!

So I suggest you look for another job -- or could you possibly get transferred to another department or branch (if your company is that big)? You will drive yourself insane if you don't. Don't look at it like you're running away from your problems, look at it like you're taking control of the situation: The last thing you want is for him to cause you to get fired or put your job in jeopardy! Don't talk to him, don't look at him, and keep a happy face on. Forget him, he obviously knows he's getting to you cause he knows YOU. Get another job girl!!!!


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For someone who lived with my ex for 3 yrs, i know how you feel. Trust me, i went through the same heartache with my ex. She "deliberately" made some of our close friends know how much fun she was having even though it was very exaggerated to make me feel as if she did not need me. Later, when i decided to move into another state, i noticed a rather shaken and taken aback stature in her. I ultimately did ove to another state and she has tried to have contact with me but i have decided to ignore her. Your ex is doing the same to you just playing with your mind. Yes, he may be having fun but is just exaggerating it to make you feel jealous and what way to do it but through co-workers. It is hard but do you really want to be with someone like this. My ex's actions i considered immature and so are your ex's. I bet if you find someone else or get a new job somewhere his attitude will change. I believe people who enjoy watching others squirm in grief and taunt them indirectly are no different from sadists. You dont want to be with me, then let sleeping dogs lie. you deserve better. Take care. I can believe i am saying this to you as i was in your shoes about a year ago going through the same thing.

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i would get another job BUT i'm held back for a couple reasons: my job is only 2 minutes from school; they are VERY flexible when i need to run errands and school-related projects; it pays well and I'm guaranteed a raise every year; the company is small (8 people) and everyone is close (friend-wise); and the job is easy. if it weren't for those reasons, i would so be out of here! and besides, i only have 2 semesters left before i graduate with a degree that i can use to get a REAL job! i bet my ex regrets getting me this job (we were dating before we worked together) now... but oh well. Since he is a delivery guy, i hardly have to see him which is nice. i keep my head up as high as i can everyday... one day things will be just fine.. but until then... things will just be like they are. but i will not let him get to me anymore than he already has! thank you for replying!

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HI! The things that this guy is doing it letting you know that he really isnt as happy as it seems. When you are happy you wont flunt it. It will just show. This man has issues. Be happy he is out of your life. I know it is hard, but really try. Trust me there is more to him than what is shown.

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