How to let her down without hurting her

[P964]

Ok my ex broke up with me 6 months ago (rather harshly if i might add). It was VERY hard for me to get over it, took months and I saw a counselor 6-7 times. Well I finally got over her and I met a new girl who I am totaly in love with and I think she is amazing. I don't have any feelings left for my ex at all.

 

She recently has been contacting me wanting to get back together, first it was subtle hints. Then she would start asking question like, are you seeing anyone? I didn't want to hurt her so I always said no. Well one day she told me about a date she went on and then asked me again if I was seeing anyone and told her yes. She didn't take it very well. She made lots of rude comments, and I ended up blocking her email/im/phone becuase I just didn't need to deal with it. I was never anything less then a perfect gentleman with her. She keeps sending me email to a different address that I didn't block explaining that she just wanted to be friends and that she wished she could just talk. So I said ok as long as we keep it strickly friends and we don't talk about our relationship in the past or our new ones in the future. Well that lasted about 3 days. She sent me another email that basically said she wanted me back and was willing to do ANYTHING and that she just needed to know if I still love her, and would ever take her back. I don't want to be hurt her at all, I still care for her, but I don't want this to continue. I have moved on and its not worth it to me to move back... I'm in love with someone great and its just over between us. Any suggestion on how to tell her forcefully but at the same time not hurt her? That its over and i'm in love with someone else and she needs to move on? Thanks

[Blue_Soul]

I think the last sentence of your post should work just fine. Tell her you don't want to hurt her, you love someone else, it's over...end of story.

[routerx]

You're obviously a sensitive person.. but she knows that.. and it sounds like she is using that against you.

 

You've made up your mind. Stand up for yourself.

 

The best thing you can do is say the truth. You would be HURTING her if you told her anything other than the truth. Tell her you don't want to keep in contact because you need to move on. Just being friends doesn't work for now.. you need to give it at least a year so you both can move on.

[tigerette]

please be honest with her. there isn't any way to do this without hurting her. you both need to be honest, and mature in dealing with this. as hard as it may seem, the kindest thing you can do for her, is to cut off all contact, if you don't want anything. just being friends usually doesn't work, when one of the two of you still have feelings. she will eventually get over it and move on, but not if she thinks there's hope for you two.

[kimg]

In the beginning you stated that she broke up with you harshly. Ok so just tell her that you have moved on and you will not be contacting you again and that you dont want her to contact you. She thought the grass was greener on the other side and it wasnt. So now she wants to fall back on you. Forget her! Just tell her goodbye and dont think twice.

[sweetharmony]

as with all the other replies, be truthful and upfront. because if you don't say anything, she will continue to feel that there might be hope. yes, at first it might hurt a bit, but she will eventually get over it. I was in your ex-girlfriend's shoes once. i got over it- only after my ex was upfront with me.