Did he or didnt he???

[nickim]

I was with my X for 7 1/2 years we bought a new home together and I thought we were happy until...I found out about his so called friend. The 1st thing, he told me he was going with 16 people from work to Las Vegas the next day after he was there he called to say hi I asked him to name the guys that had gone with him he said UM ME, he was sharing the room with 3 girls. He got back and kissed up but a year later we came unglued. These 3 girls were coming to my house when I was out of town to party, this caused us to fight and argue, then he started going out without me all the time to hang out with these people, he strated lying and not coming home when he said. I found hotel room charges and his cell phone bills, placing over 153 calls a month to 1 of the girls, who is married. When I started to question his new group of friends I got answers of well we all suspected it but have never seen anything. One of the girls told me she had busted them following each other from a hotel on the hill, yes it turns out to be the same one the charges came from the same one I called and the lady said hes a good customer in here all the time. I talked to the married ladies husband(mind you we all hung out on the rare times he took me with him and her husband would go) and he thought so too, I even read him a email she wrote to my boyfriend stating "I love you and am excited about the new situation in our lives" They both swear they are only friends and her husband has stayed I moved to my grandmas house, and it has been horrible. He calls and we fight. I think he has cheated and he swears he hasnt. He dosent want me back because I yelled and fought with him all the time is his excuse, she calls and says mean hurtful things to me and when I tell him he says she wouldnt do that. But now hes yelling at me all the time and I'm just trying to be a friend. He says hes already dating someone and has slept with people and Im crushed, but I dont know why, he cheated I left Im not sure why I try to talk to him and be there for him, was I really in the wrong????

[The Morrigan]

Umm, most guys don't get a hotel room with one girl to play poker unless it's strip poker, a "good customer?" Seriously, how many things are there friends NEED a hotel room for? I'm having a hard time coming up with many, especially close to home! This girl is calling you, and he's defending her? Sounds to me like while you're trying to be considerate of him, he has none for you. Somehow he has you thinking you should still be there for him... ha. If you MUST talk to him, and I don't think you have any reason to, I'd tell him as soon as he starts his crap "I don't have to listen to this from you or anyone, do not speak to me until you can treat me with some consideration" and HANG UP. He has no reason to be civil or nice to you right now - because you're still taking his calls when he's being a (word I can't say here). I'll bet he doesn't show this other chick this wonderful side of his personality! You're not being unreasonable, you're not being malicious, and you're not in the wrong, not from anything you've said here. And you deserve to be treated at the LEAST civilly, split up or not.

[sisterlynch]

He is abusing you emotionally and you are letting him by trying to support him through this difficult time of dating and meeting someone new.

 

Get to a counselor and talk about you need to be this man's doormat.