Long Story - Help Please!

[secretlover]

The History

 

I started dating this girl about three years ago, after I met her in town. We got really close really quick. So much that she was my first love. We planned to spend forever together. (aww) Through a series of events though, we went on a break, the rules of which were agreed beforehand. She wanted to get off with someone, but that was it. No sex. I was to stay single, and not to do anything with anyone. I don't intend to put the details in here, but I understood why she wanted to, and agreed.

 

Anyway, on the night it happened, I was very depressed. So I went out to a club where I sat in the corner on my own, and drank. Anyway, a girl came up, and seduced me, and well, I dont need to give you the details.

 

Not long after, I got back with my girlfriend, and things went okay. Until she found out...

 

We split up again, and after about 6 months, became friends again. But anyway, she got a boyfriend, and I found it too painful to see her all the time. I was madly in love with her, and it killed. So, I stayed away. I didnt call her or see her for a whole year. We spoke on MSN occasionally, but that was about it.

 

The Update

 

Anyway, a fortnight ago, we started talking on MSN properly, and she asked me to ring her, and I did. We spoke for hours, catching up on things and stuff. She told me that she was still a virgin, and wanted to lose her virginity to me. I am also a virgin, and agreed, since I still love her sorta, and really trust her. And her for the same reasons with me. She went on to say that she probably wants to be ' * * * * buddies,' but she thinks that she is likely to fall in love with me again. Yet she still wants to do it.

 

The Question

 

My question is this. Do you think seeing her and having sex with her will cause both of our feelings for each other to re-surface?

 

Advice is welcome please.

 

Thanks,

 

-S.L

[lyra]

why would you allow her to use you without any responsibilities on her part? you still love her, yes? and you have no guarantee that sleeping together or being f*** buddies will make her love you. you will probably be hurt by this. i suggest you do not try this experiment. if she wants to be in a real relationship with you, mutally exclusive, no weird little rules, no selfishness, then go for it. but this proposition sounds like bad news to me. be careful.

[StrawberryHeart]

i stongly suggest not to get back with her just for sex. and having sex with someone is not a way to see if your feelings will resurface. either try to have the relationship as normal without the sex, or don't get back together at all. it will most likely hurt you in the long run.

[KG]

Could you two agree to take it past FB, add some romance to the deal before you sleep together? It sounds as if you guys might still love each other.

But be careful it's love, not lust.

BTW, you sound very mature about this, good for you!

[secretlover]

Sorry to add to an old topic, but the problem is still there.

 

We have not done anything yet, but talk on the phone and see each other often, just as friends.

 

However, she has invited me round this week, and it is likely to happen then.

 

So I have to ask - what do I do? I know I love her, and I know she loves me. But I think I want more than just FBs.

 

Diverging this to another topic - if we do...do it, can someone recommend a good position for two first timers.

 

Cheers.

[iFlirt]

If you dont want to be FBs... then you need to make that clear. If you go through with this wanting more you are very likely to end up getting hurt.

If you still love her and she still has feelings for you, try starting the relationship fresh.

But, if your gunna do this, as for the second question, missionary is great and versitile or she wants to set her own pace she can be on top. Also, FOREPLAY!!!! Its your best friend : )

[secretlover]

Missionary? I dont want to sound...immature, but can ou describe without going into graphic detail?

 

And foreplay...yes....

[KG]

Ithink that if you don't know missionary, you guys might want to abstain from sex for right now. You sound inexperierenced. You may want to sort out your feelings first, rather than have sex determine how you feel about each other.

It goes like this...love, trust, relationship, trust, fooling around, lovemaking.

It sounds as tho you are trying to go from step 1 to step 5, without 2,3,4.

Please slow down. The relationship makes the sex, not vice versa.

[secretlover]

Ithink that if you don't know missionary, you guys might want to abstain from sex for right now. You sound inexperierenced.

 

Of course I'm in experienced, I'm a virgin.

 

Please slow down. The relationship makes the sex, not vice versa.

 

Well thats the point, at present, their is no relationship.