Should I make my ex's family aware of his alcoholism?

[SpaceCadet]

My ex has a huge alcohol problem. He is an alcoholic. He has admitted this.

 

I've been wondering if this is something that I should be concerned with or not. In the past year, I have seen him in a downward spiral. He drinks in the morning when he wakes up, in the afternoon, in the evening, and in the middle of the night. I know all of this for a fact for I monitored it since December/January. Also, his friends at work have mentioned to me a couple things that he is unaware of: he has called in sick to work on many occasions, he has gone home for lunch and not been able to make it back to work, he has come back from lunch with alcohol on his breath.

 

The time that I used to spend with him, he always had alcohol in him. He hid alcohol in bottles behind the couch, in the bathroom cabinet, in the spice rack cabinet, in the drawers, in the closet. On any given day, I could monitor how much he was drinking. I could go to the bathroom after him and see how much he drank from the hidden bottle. I could monitor throughout the day any of the other bottles. Very sad. I'd say he drank about a bottle of vodka or whiskey a day.

 

We are no longer a couple. But it makes me very sad that he is killing himself. He had gone to a couple of AA meetings but I know he has not continued with it. People at work do not know the extent of his problem. And his family definitely is not aware of it. His friends are not aware of it. My question is, I am fairly close to his sisters. Should I make them aware of it? Should I call a family meeting without him and make them aware? I have no intention of getting back together with him... whether he gets help or not. My concern is that after 2 years of being with him, I do care about him and I think if the tables were turned and it was my sister or brother in a downward spiral, that I would want to know about it. Should I be concerned or not?? Additionally a point that would probably hit home with this family is that their brother was killed by a drunk driver years ago and he drinks and drives all the time.

 

Your thoughts please.

[summerpeach]

My ex was a drug addict. I thought tons of time of telling his family, but what I did was use that energy on myself and went to therapy to get over the harm he did to me.

 

If I were you, I would stay out of it. It's his problem and even if you tell, they will think you're the "angry ex" or not believe you. Also telling will not make him less of a drunk

 

Move on and use your energy to find happiness!

[Timebandit]

Having lived in a family where my mothers alcoholism was a taboo through all the years, I can only say that keeping it a secret, is neither healthy to him nor his sourroundings. Not that you should try to be a rescuer (no one should), but the best thing you can do, is to tell them about and then stay clear. No doubt your ex would prefer having it stay a secret, but it won't help him.

 

Its not an easy thing to do, and you don't know what peoples reaction will be. But if you care about him, it is really the most generous thing you can do for him.

[russ978]

I agree with Timebandit.

 

While I would generally think it is ideal to stay out of any issues that your ex may of had, it might be a good idea to have a more serious discussion with him before you thought about involving his family. If you do end up involving his family, your involvement should end there so that they can take whatever course of action they are going to take.

[Huntsman]

What's important here is the golden rule.

Can you relate to a situation that would be similarly put on you?

I can. And that's why I've never done something like what you are proposing.