Finding it hard to tell her the truth

[Dannyjo]

I have been dating a woman for 3 months, she is wonderful! Except I still think of my ex, and I am not sure I can be what she needs right know. I do not know how to tell her. It is nothing she has done, it is me! I just cannot commit to any promises now. Any suggestions to how or what I say?

[Mar]

Tell her exactly what you've said here: that you're not sure if you can commit to her the way she deserves, and that you're not sure you're not doing her an injustice because you still have thoughts of your ex floating around in your head. If possible, that you'd like to still be friends. She may be angry, or hurt, but she should respect that you were honest enough to tell her instead of letting it go further, and making those promises you're not sure you can keep.

 

But keep in mind-no matter how she reacts, you're doing the right thing by being honest with her and not leading her on anymore if you're not sure your heart is into it!

 

Mar

[Gilgamesh]

Tell her the truth, but understand that she might not take it well, this is why I stress to people to heal fully before moving to a new relationship.

 

This new girl will be hurt, and may think you dont care for her, explain to her that you really like her, but that you need time to heal so that you are better able to give yourself fully to the relationship.

 

remain friends, and hopefully she will be understanding and give you another chance later.

[jaded4life]

Sound like you suffered rebounditis, sorry no harm intended. Listen, your new gf will be hurt, possibly angered I have been there before. She will think it is "her," no matter what you say or do. Rejection is rejection no matter if you tie it up with a bow and sprinkle glitter, it will still be ugly!

SHe may still be your friend but do not use her for an emotional crutch later on, be wiser, and more cautious for her sake.

[kimg]

You need to heal first from your past relationship. You are rebounding. Tell the new girl that you cant commit right now and you just want to be friends. It will hurt her, but she will be thankful.