Unsure

[Sylivia]

Mums in denial after my Dad abused me.

She's going to look at my medical records today, and I know that she will be upset.

My Dad still denies it, even though Iv'e confronted him, all the evidence is stacked against him,

The strange thing is, my mum spoke to my brother, and she said if she find out that he did, she will leave my Dad.

Now I know that's her choice, but the threat of them splitting up, was the threat my Dad used before he abused me, he said if I didn't keep quiet it would split the family.

Now I know It's not my fault and I am innocent. But part of me wishes I hadn't told the family.

[Beec]

I think the truth is what is hurting things, but hiding the truth is not usually the right thing to do.

 

If your mother says she will leave him because of what he did, it is because of what he did, not because you told.

[onewithbooks]

Sylivia~

 

My heart goes out to you for the position that you are in. Its hard to face the truths in your life especially when you feel condemmed for it. I know that this is a place for advice, and I as I have never been in your shoes its hard to "advise". Here is my two cents anyhow.

 

Your father abused you. You are the victim. You had a part of you taken away. You were the one who was violated. I know that its incredibly painful to see what is happening to your family, but its not your fault. I know it doesnt feel that way, but its true. Your father was the one who abused you. Had he not, you would not be in this position.

 

I know that you know all of that, and even so its still hard. That (I would think) would only be natural. The thing is though, and I dont want to sound harsh, but your family will face these things and it will be dealt with and everyone will take life again one day at a time. You have to live with the fact that some one you were supposed to trust hurt you for the rest of your life. Your dad wont have that, neither will your mom. In your lifetime, you have to do what is best for you. Honestly, what if you hadnt said anything. What if he went on to abuse someone else, because he wasnt stopped?

 

All in all I think you did the right thing. I know its hard now, but in the long run, it will be better. I am proud of you for speaking up. I know we dont know one another from Adam, lol, but that couldnt have been easy. It took a lot of courage and I admire that. Bravo.

 

All the best

OWB

[KG]

Strong girl, stay strong! Like OWB said, the guilt lies with him, not with you. And would you really want your Mom to stay with an abuser? It's her decision now,

but ultimately, it was he who made the choice back then.

Good luck...

come back often!

[Sylivia]

Thanks for your advice,

[Mavh25]

Heya Sylivia. You ok?

 

You did'nt split up the family, if anything you're going to be doing your family a favour. I don't know how long you left it before you told the family or anything, nor how old you are. But i know the strength it takes to actually stand up and tell people what has happened.

 

The only thing you need to feel is proud of yourself.

 

Noone in this is more important than you. You know the blame does'nt lie with you, i knwo you know. You may feel almost guilty for a little bit, but eventually it will slide, you've been harmed in such a horrible way.

 

Why is your mum getting the medical records? does your mum doubt what yo're saying?