Am I being a baby?

[AXYSSALLY]

I have a minor problem but its still bothering me. I am married to a fantastic guy whom I love with all my heart and he shows me how much he loves me every day. We have always prized communication so that if something is bothering us it doesnt turn into something worse down the road. We have also always been very open about our exs. No, this isnt a concern that he is still interested in his ex..nothing like that. The thing is, he has never been very romantic with me. Little things here and there but not much. Since we first started dating he mentioned romantic things he did with his ex. Apparently she mandated that in order for her to be his g/f he would have to "propose it" to her. And so he did, with 10 dozen roses, a trail of petals to the bed and blah blah. He has also mentioned other romantic things. Last night we were talking and he mentioned that they had gone away to a secluded cabin with a jacuzzi and other corny romantic things. In the same breath he said that now that he is married all his romantic spirit has been drained. What the hell? We have only been married for 6 months and have a great marriage and sex life, so I dont understand this comment. It really hurt my feelings but I let the moment go by in which I should have confronted him on what he was talking about. My question is, now, a day later, should I ask him what he meant? I dont want to blow this out of proportion and I dont want to be a baby about it, but it really does hurt my feelings and I dont understand it. Should I confront him or let it go, where everything else is going so wonderfully?

[Nifty_Swifty1]

This is just my opinion, but women need to be treated like queens. Whether he feels like it or not, he should sacrifice that part of himself to make you feel like a goddess. Don't expect it all the time, but once a month shouldn't be out of the question. Now how to talk to him about it with out it becoming a problem… that will be hard. I don't have any advice there, but you deserve be treated like you're something special.

[secret_agent_man]

Hello! Thanks for posting this, I have a few words to add here...

 

First off, you are not wrong or being a baby for this, you have an emotional need, and he should at least make that effort for you. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, so please don't take it that way, but he probably just doesn't see the whole picture.

 

You mentioned that the two of you have good communication, and that's a wonderful thing as I'm sure you are aware. You've got the right outlook on it, and I know how things get if you let them go and they build up in your head. Something to keep in mind is that this is exaclty that case. Before you get this all blown out of proportion, just talk to him. Just do it before you go crazy, trust me, it's worth the slight awkwardness now to save from the possible argument later... follow?

 

Hope this helps, and let him know that you love him and that you know he loves you, but you really long for the romantic moments as well...

 

Take care!

S.A.M.

[autumn]

Your husband may be pointing out something he sees as positive in you. For example, a lady friend of mine pointed out that her man doesn't buy her flowers and said to her, "I'm glad you're not like the others, that I don't have to do things like that for you, - flowers are so expensive." Although he was praising her on the one hand for not being materialistic or demanding and being able to enjoy the relationship for "real" reasons, he made her feel so terrible on the other hand, - essentially worth very little.

 

Your husband should have shown better judgment in sharing his past "pleasures" with you. He has effectively put you in a position that demands no less than where his romantic fancies have shown that they can deliver.

 

Personally, if my woman told me that she would like more romance in her relationship (she actually has), I would not blame her - what woman does not like romance? Deep down, men refuse to accept that they are insensitive or unromantic, or that they "hurt" their lady in any way - this is, after all, the ultimate test for men: to be able to shed their "macho" self and show some sweetness and sensitivity to their lady.

 

Be careful not to compare your level of romance to his ex - decide for yourself what you like and need - then tell him. He obviously has it in him to do this,...maybe he just needs you to open the door and let him know that you crave it - when it's valued, it's so much more pleasing to give.