Does anyone know a good undetectable keylogger?

[BornToResist]

Hm. That's tough...

 

I don't know, the can of worms is pretty much opened. You haven't found anything but still don't trust him.

 

I'm not saying you're wrong because I betrayed my own gut and it bit me in the butt. I just don't know what to tell you other than good luck and keep us updated!!!!!!!

[RayKay]

I agree this is a tough situation because it is pretty clear that this is not resolving your questions, because you still don't trust the results (which to me is more evidence that often the lack of trust predates one having proof!).

 

For me, if I could not trust the man I was with to this degree where I was installing keyloggers, or not trusting his responses to me...well honestly I would not be bothered with the snooping and techy gadgets to catch him. Clearly there is a massive trust issue here, and whether he IS up to something, or it is issues with yourself, is not relevant as either way it is an unhealthy relationship and the lack of trust (or of deserving trust) is toxic.

 

Is all this relationship and all its trust issues really worth your emotional health and state of mind?

[EllisBreaks]

I agree this is a tough situation because it is pretty clear that this is not resolving your questions, because you still don't trust the results (which to me is more evidence that often the lack of trust predates one having proof!).

 

For me, if I could not trust the man I was with to this degree where I was installing keyloggers, or not trusting his responses to me...well honestly I would not be bothered with the snooping and techy gadgets to catch him. Clearly there is a massive trust issue here, and whether he IS up to something, or it is issues with yourself, is not relevant as either way it is an unhealthy relationship and the lack of trust (or of deserving trust) is toxic.

 

Is all this relationship and all its trust issues really worth your emotional health and state of mind?

 

I'm starting to wonder the same thing.

 

I wonder if he only got back together with me for the sake of our child i'm carrying.

 

I wonder if he's cheating because he's been showing signs. Then i think of his wariness on the computer before i even installed the KL (he's not comp. savy, and knows i am, and suspicious as well)

 

He won't sleep with me anymore, and he keeps giving me all these excuses. He refuses to deal with the problem. He's rather ignore it and pleasure himself every day.

 

I'm starting to think that I'd be happier without him. Baby or not.

[Olive.Juice]

If a keylogger is used in a situation where somebody's password or other personal data is discovered and the person doing the discovery is not entitled to that information then it is wrong.

 

I think that it is wrong in any situation - except for employers who inform their employees that activities will be monitored.

 

My SO is not ENTITLED to my mail from the post office or my e mail.

 

My daughter's father took it upon himself to hack my e mail account and research the people in my address book for no reason. I was not doing anything wrong. I did not deserve this treatment. He made his lack of self confidence MY problem which was the ultimate down-fall of our relationship.

 

I ended up putting pass words on my hard drive and windows. I became extremly protective of my information. I felt totally violated and ended up living like I had a lie to hide.

[Sketch]

My daughter's father took it upon himself to hack my e mail account and research the people in my address book for no reason

You may have done nothing wrong, but somehow I doubt he hacked your email for "no reason". Even if it was him overreacting to something you said or did in the past and he was intensely insecure...I bet he had a reason, it was simply a reason you do not agree with.

 

He made his lack of self confidence MY problem which was the ultimate down-fall of our relationship.

My SO said similar things to me. She said I was delusional, I was paranoid for no reason, I was insecure, and I was pathetic...

 

She actually convinced me for months that I was: delusional, paranoid, insecure, and pathetic. I believed her. I questioned myself and my sanity. I bought into her lies and manipulation for months before I could no longer avoid the warning signs.

 

When I finally went into my SO's email account I found several curious emails. Some were to close friends saying she was not in love with me anymore and some were to a guy she had been seeing behind my back for months. It was vindication for my feelings of mistrust toward her... oh, and that I wasn't crazy.

 

It seems to me that the ones that scream the loudest about how they need their personal space and privacy are the ones that are scared of the truth being brought to light. I understand wanting privacy, but some people go so far out of their way to lock down email, cell phone, and any other communication trails, it's as if they are working for the CIA protecting national secrets.

Relationships, IMO, involve relinquishing some control. You need to sacrifice some of your privacy and it should not matter. I am 100% open and honest with my partner and if she ever feels the need to check up on me, big deal. I have nothing to hide. My ex used to go through my cell phone all the time...I don't care. If privacy and independence are of the utmost importance to you, consider being single.

 

I felt totally violated and ended up living like I had a lie to hide.

If you had done nothing wrong, then I find this reaction extremely fascinating. If you would elaborate why you felt that way it would be greatly appreciated.

[Olive.Juice]

You may have done nothing wrong, but somehow I doubt he hacked your email for "no reason". Even if it was him overreacting to something you said or did in the past and he was intensely insecure...I bet he had a reason, it was simply a reason you do not agree with.

How dare you?

You don't even know me and you are "doubting" me? Before you assume, get facts, son.

His insecurities of his past relationships should be my price to pay? And HIS behaivor of hacking into my email - where he found NOTHING - is more acceptable? Someone previously cheated on him and he made it MY problem.

 

If you had done nothing wrong, then I find this reaction extremely fascinating. If you would elaborate why you felt that way it would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

 

I said "no reason" for a reason. I did nothing wrong. I don't know what you want me to elaborate on. Constantly being accused of cheating with every male person that was in my life - including the old toothless-chain-smoking nextdoor neighbor- and being told that his daughter was not his, that I was pregnant by someone else is enough to kill any relationship.

 

I mean, a little jealousy is cute sometimes. But, the extremes that he took it too was enough to make me not want to be with him anymore, let alone allow him into my personal space.

 

Geesh man, you need to think before you type. You are typing out of pure emotion of what happened to YOU. Just because your girl was a P.O.S. doesn't make the rest of us.

[Sketch]

Before you assume, get facts, son.

...interesting way to address someone...

 

His insecurities of his past relationships should be my price to pay? And HIS behaivor of hacking into my email - where he found NOTHING - is more acceptable? Someone previously cheated on him and he made it MY problem.

Where did all this come from? I said he probably had a reason for his actions. Whether it was his own craziness or not, I'm sure in his own mind it was not just something he did out of the blue. I'm sorry if that offended you.

 

I don't know what you want me to elaborate on. Constantly being accused of cheating with every male person that was in my life - including the old toothless-chain-smoking nextdoor neighbor- and being told that his daughter was not his, that I was pregnant by someone else is enough to kill any relationship.

Thank you.

 

Geesh man, you need to think before you type. You are typing out of pure emotion of what happened to YOU. Just because your girl was a P.O.S. doesn't make the rest of us.

Maybe it's time for you to take a good long look into the mirror sweetheart.

[JadedStar]

I think that Sketch and Olive Juice both have some valid points but you are both talking from your own past which is making this heated.

 

Sure it is a pain to have someone constantly check up on you and read your emails, but if we are an open book and don't hide passwords and lock down things then the inclination probably won't be there to begin with...

 

 

I have never hid any password to any account i have to my husband because there is no need. He doesn't check into them because he doesn't feel i am making it a covert mission to read them if he really WANTED to.

[Olive.Juice]

 

Maybe it's time for you to take a good long look into the mirror.

 

You're right. I allowed your accusations to irritate me. You just remind me of my ex.

[EllisBreaks]

It seems to me that the ones that scream the loudest about how they need their personal space and privacy are the ones that are scared of the truth being brought to light. I understand wanting privacy, but some people go so far out of their way to lock down email, cell phone, and any other communication trails, it's as if they are working for the CIA protecting national secrets.

Relationships, IMO, involve relinquishing some control. You need to sacrifice some of your privacy and it should not matter. I am 100% open and honest with my partner and if she ever feels the need to check up on me, big deal. I have nothing to hide. My ex used to go through my cell phone all the time...I don't care. If privacy and independence are of the utmost importance to you, consider being single.

 

Well said Sketch.

[violingirl]

Posted by Sketch: "It seems to me that the ones that scream the loudest about how they need their personal space and privacy are the ones that are scared of the truth being brought to light. I understand wanting privacy, but some people go so far out of their way to lock down email, cell phone, and any other communication trails, it's as if they are working for the CIA protecting national secrets.

Relationships, IMO, involve relinquishing some control. You need to sacrifice some of your privacy and it should not matter. I am 100% open and honest with my partner and if she ever feels the need to check up on me, big deal. I have nothing to hide. My ex used to go through my cell phone all the time...I don't care. If privacy and independence are of the utmost importance to you, consider being single."

 

I also completely agree. I couldn't care less if a SO were to look through my stuff or in my e-mail, because I've never had anything to hide. When in a close, trusting relationship, I expect that I will be sacrificing some of my privacy. It's only normal.

 

My ex, for example, was a control freak about his "privacy." We were in a long-term relationship and he never let me answer his phone once, let alone even glance at his e-mail on the computer screen. Now I know why - it turned out that he had physically cheated on me with one of his ex-girlfriends 2 months before he left me, and he had emotionally cheated on me with one of his other ex-girlfriends and left me for her. I didn't know anything about it and he got away with it. Of course, he lied to me about why he broke up with me (he "needed to be alone" to work on his "issues") and it took a year and a half after the breakup before he finally admitted to the "entire" truth. I still wonder if there is more that he never told me.

 

As a result, I am suspicious of people who are so dead-set against their privacy being "invaded" by their significant others. It makes me think that they have something to hide.

[RayKay]

I have nothing to hide, and I know my boyfriend does not either, and neither of us snoops in one another's phones or emails or mail (and yes, we do live together so we easily "could").

 

Neither of us obsessively "hides" things from one another; we leave our phones out all the time, or what have you, but we also TRUST one another to respect our space and respect our trust in them!

 

Even if you have nothing to hide, the fact that a partner (or you), would need to check into these private areas shows a clear lack of trust - which is TRULY the issue here. I trust my boyfriend, and thereforeeee cannot comprehend snooping on him to "prove my trust is warranted" - I just can't! To me it indicates actually only SAYING "I trust" when you really DON'T! That is an issue in itself!

 

Furthermore, while I am not HIDING things, nor my partner, we respect that we are confidantes to private information that comes from family, friends, or that is work related. And whether we are fine with our partner knowing everything about US is not relevant; because our friends and family have not indicated they want to disclose the information about themselves.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Honestly, I'd be suspicious of any long-term committed relationship where the partners felt the need to hide anything from one another. So often on this forum we see people who have found out horrible information about their spouses, yet are afraid of confronting them because they found it out by looking at a cellphone or going through their email. If those avenues of information are already open, I think that cheating would be less likely to happen - or at least, harder to conceal. In my relationship there is an open information policy. If I'm writing an email and my husband asks to see it, I don't have a problem with that. If I borrow his cellphone and look through his text messages, there's no problem with that, either. When the information is available you don't feel the need to go through it constantly, or install keyloggers, or to question every word they say and action they take.

 

Sure, I'd feel weird if I found him going through my email - because he could very easily ask to see it and I'd have no problem with that whatsoever. I'd also feel weird if I asked to see something and he said no, because that'd mean he had something to hide.