Do first loves actually make it???

[gladiator01]

I was just wondering how many people think that first loves actually make it all the way.. And how many people are still in that situation.. I've seen so many couples love each other and end up splitting up and finding someone else..but im past all that and i finally found a girl I would love to spend the rest of my life with..Anyone out there think that at my age 19 and my girls age 17..could possibly last..I mean we are on the same level as to loving each other..But like i have said in my previous posts that whatever may happen between us.. the only thing i could do is live on..

[Drakkonn]

You tell me. This morning my girlfriend told me she wanted to date some guy called Rory. In the past she's cheated on me with my best friend, and given her number to two older guys. Maybe it's just my luck, but I'm losing faith.

[reise]

It depends on the couple and the situation they face (together and individually).

 

My sister has been married to her high school sweetheart (and only flame)for the last 12 years and they have a beautiful son together. They went through a lot to get where they are tho' and it wasn't easy.

 

Right after graduation she went to live in Europe (and start college) and within a year he joined the Army and was sent to Central America. They kept in contact and he flew over to visit once. They did break up for about a month at one time, but then got back together. She went back to the USA for one semester, but then returned to Germany. When he got out of the military, they decided they'd spent enough time long-distance and he came to Germany and worked for a year (earning his own money for school) while she finished her degree. He was there when she graduated one June day and they married that August. They immmediately went back to the states where she got a job to support them, while it was his turn for school, and as I said... that was better than 12 years ago. Today they work in the same field (almost in the same place of business) and are still like a couple of honeymooners (not without the occasional disagreement, but making up can be fun, too).

 

I think it helped them to set their own goals for a future and then work them out to benefit being together (not the other way around, i.e. giving up one's dreams to be with that adored partner). They also have a huge love and respect for each other as individuals, not just partners. They also were wise enough not to put massive pressure on themselves to stay together if they started to grow apart.

 

So, my answer is that I think it can happen and be wonderful, but nothing of value comes without some sacrifice (like being together "right now & forever after"), hard work and mutual respect and lotsa honest communication.

 

Not to make this post any longer than it is... but I will add my two cents about my own experience. I was with my first love for 4 years (two high school, two college-age years). It would have been three, but we both wound up taking almost a year to break the news to each other that it was apparently over (lol).

 

At the time it was natually upsetting, but now I feel grateful that I had him in my life for the time that I did. Thankful to have had him to share those first feelings and experiences with. That we simply grew apart over time does not negate that he was an incredible, precious, beautiful man-- that I was lucky that a higher source sent him to spend time with me. I will always cherish the memory of the love we had.

 

Even if a first love doesn't work out (and I think that the majority don't -- for all kinds of reasons), I believe there are things you take with you from that person that will help you become who you are. Even a relationship that seems to have ended badly can have something to teach or reveal to you futher down the line.

 

Come what may... best of life to you.

[Archivist]

Whoah, I really dont want to scare you, but I'll tell you what happened to me. Maybe by telling you you may even avoid this situation in the future.

 

My ex and I are the same age as you and your gf, we had been going out for a year and a half. We are were each others first love. I know we are young, but she often joked about getting married and having kids, she didn't say that she wanted to marry me or have kids. It was more of a hypothetical converstaion. We were both madly in love, we swore that if anything would ever happen and if we were to broke up we would promise to be friends no matter what happened. We both thought that we loved each other too much for that to ever happen. We were both so niave.

 

My ex did say once that she thinks it would have been better for us both, if we had both met each other when we were in our 20's. I never thouhgt much about it (I first met her when I was 18 and she was 14). It took us a while to get together, but we were friends before the realtionship.

 

Well the day fianlly happened when.. I dont really know, she came back from holiday with her family, and when she came back, I had other plans for a few days so she made other plans too. I started to hang around with some friends of mine which I may have neglected during our realtionship and she did too. I guess that was the beginning of the end.

 

She broke up with me not long after saying, that were still young, she still

needs to discover herself as an individual, she doesn't seem to know what she wants from life. She just wants to enojy herself and be free, without having to worry about what I might think or hurting me. I don't really know what that means, but I had to except the fact she didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. That was very frustrating because I was never over possesive and I let her do whatever she wanted to do, I never held her back from growing up.

 

As she broke up with me, she really wanted to be friends, she has made the effort to try be my friend. But as you can imagine its just too hard for me to suddenly pretend that nothings happened and be her friend. I haven't spoken to her for about a month now as I am still trying to heal and get over her before I am ready to be her friend again.

 

Thats just my story, your situation can be totally different but you wanted to know what people thought. Well we both definatley believed at one point in our realtionsip that this could really be it. Words cannot describe how happy we made eachother. I'm sure neither of us will ever forget what happened between us.

 

As for now its very difficult for me. I take each day as it comes and see what tomorrow brings.

 

Good luck

[jd21]

I feel that first loves could make it but it takes a lot of hard work. My ex-bf and I started dating when we were 16 and 17. Everything was perfect, we talked about our future together all the time. Now I'm a sophomore in college and he's a junior. 2 weeks ago he said hdoesn't want regrets and needs to be independent right now. I was devastated and still am. He was my best friend and I love and miss him so much. I don't know what to do, whether to give him his space for now or try and contact him. It's very hard. I hope for the day he'll relaize what we had together and want to try again.

[CrazyKarl13]

I'm currently in the same situation as you. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19. I've never felt this way towards anyone in my life and its wonderful. I could totally see myself with him in the future, but I chose not to tell him, because I don't want to scare him away.

 

I think that there is still hope that you could be meant for each other.. there is no right or wrong answer. It's what you believe in your heart and how you go about in your relationship. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!

[MrDraw]

OK. This question is the one questions everybody askes him/herself after some time. Will my firstlove be the one for me, and do we last trough time?

Well the answer in simple. You just don't know! Time will tell eventually if the two of you will work out or not. Your still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. A relationship is a difficult thing sometimes. It takes two to work things out. "Keep The Fire Burning". A relationship needs work and sometimes a lot of it. Just talk about your feelings, work, school, you name it. Keep your relationship open. If you are the right couple you'll know!

But most of the times, you first love isn't going to last. The first relationship your in is the one in which you'll find yourself and learn a lot about love and life. It's 'bout to end sometime. After that you'll know what you want and the other does to, and you both move on.

But maybe you're so well matched, you'll stick together. Just wait and see.

Wish You Well!!

[pessimisticguy]

I'll put it to you very blunty....Realistically 9 times out of 10 first loves will not stay together...Not because they stop loving each other, but because of age, current priorities, etc...My first love and I were together for 2 years...Sophomore and Junior year of highschool...I broke up with her because she was obsessive, literally...The key reason it normally doesn't work is due to the fact that they two people aren't experienced in knowing how to keep a relationship going. One will irritate the other, there will be retaliation, etc, etc...Im not saying it can't work. I'll I can really tell you is if you want to be with her for the rest of your life, keep her happy. Know when to back off and give her a little space and know when to give her the attention she needs. Most of all, everytime you argue never let the day end on a bad note and talk all problems out. Those my friend are relationship breakers.

Hope this helps

Goodluck