Not sure what I want in ex relationship (long)

[Dev007]

About 4 months ago my ex of 3 years dumped me. It was tough to get over but with help from friends, family, and good advice from this site I got over and I felt better than ever.

 

I was out having fun and flirting with new girls and rarely thinking about my ex. Things were good.

 

My ex calls me on my birthday (july 2nd) and we end up talking more and more and started seeing each other a couple weeks ago. Mostly just walks in the park. Things were still good. I wasn't having any feelings other than friendship feelings.

 

Then, last week she got dumped by her current BF and, as a friend, I was there to offer a shoulder to cry on. We went walking and she said a hug would help so I hugged her and later, when we were sitting, I held her as she cried on my shoulder. That is almost the exact moment I think I started getting those old feelings for her.

 

I thought I had everything under control though. We still went walking, we were flirting with each other a little bit. She hit me a couple times like a girl does when she is flirting. She came over and we went swimming. She said I looked like I had been working out and I have.

 

But I am not sure if she is actually interested in getting back together or not because she talks about guys she likes and guys she talks to.

 

I also don't know if I want to get back with her. I was excited to be single (kinda sucks to be alone though). And she gets more attractive everytime I see her.

 

I guess I would like to here what you all think. Should I be moving on and losing her to my memory or should I persue this? If you think I should, then do I remain patient or do i say something?

 

I am just so confused right now.

[Certified Lover]

Much of your confusion is because she is the last girl you cared so deeply for.

 

You probably want to have that "special someone" again and she is your last memory of it. Seeing her simply reminds you of that.

 

In reality, if you really think about it, you probably still had some sort of feelings inside of you beyond friendship before the moment you described.

 

I don' think you need to jump into anything. In fact, I would encourage against it since she is newly back in your life and is vulnerable to a certain extent.

 

Let it play out and stay strong. Don't rush anything, don't have expectations and simply lead your life as though she is a friend in it at this point.

[HyruleGuardian]

I'd try to back off a little bit if I were you. I think your emotions are just going crazy because you saw her again and it brought back old memories of when you two were together.

 

I'm kind of in a similar situation and I'm not rushing anything. We hang out and do things we used to, but we aren't officially together. Things are progressing well and I think one day we'll get back together eventually, but I'm in no hurry.

[Dev007]

Thanks for the advise guys. Last night was the breaking point. I was so close to just saying goodbye forever but I stayed strong to the advice.

 

I think it will help when I go away to school and when I meet someone new.