pyemyster Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Hi I've got my first date tonight in about 7 years, I've never really had a girl friend before, I used too go on all these disaterious dates years ago and lost confidence through it going wrong all the time. Guess I'm very shy and worry about what conversation too strike up all the time. I've been texting this girl for about 2 weeks now and she knows my situation on being shy and that, so I feel abit more at ease with her knowing. I just need help on what things too talk about is it OK too compliment her if she looks nice and all that, I don't want too come on to strong and give out the wrong impression. I thought maybe we would go too the cinema tonight but go for a drink first so we get talking Link to comment
Beec Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 You should pay her one comopliment and only one, and it should be simple and vague: "you look nice." Otherwise, do not worry too much about topics. You already know some things about her. What does she like? What are her interests? learn just a bit about one, and ask her questions about it. Also, one of my favorite things to ask about was a persons childhood and something they refused to give up. Something like "What was the best thing you ever got as a childhood Christmas persent?" It gets the woman thinking about that and it makes her feel good, and she will associate that feeling with being with you. Link to comment
dawn515 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 It's okay to compliment her, just don't go overboard with it. Just say, when you see her, "Hey, wow, you look great!" and drop it at that. If you must do a movie, I suggest you see one first, and THEN go out for dinner/drinks, because, if you have nothing else to talk about, you can at least talk about the movie! (I always thought the dinner/movie date should be reversed for that reason, but that's just me.) Good luck! Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Hi I've got my first date tonight in about 7 years, I've never really had a girl friend before, I used too go on all these disaterious dates years ago and lost confidence through it going wrong all the time. Guess I'm very shy and worry about what conversation too strike up all the time. I've been texting this girl for about 2 weeks now and she knows my situation on being shy and that, so I feel abit more at ease with her knowing. I just need help on what things too talk about is it OK too compliment her if she looks nice and all that, I don't want too come on to strong and give out the wrong impression. I thought maybe we would go too the cinema tonight but go for a drink first so we get talking So you know this girl from text messages right? If thats the case you want to get to know this girl then and thats what dating is all about. At this point if all you have had is contact through texting then you really dont know to much about her. For all you know she could be Charles Mansons daughter. Take it slow an dont rush into things. Go to a nice quiet cafe and have a nice cuppa joe with her. Have fun and be careful of turning it into a interogation. Pay attention to how she says things when shes talking. You want to come out of the date with a clearer idea of whether YOU want to take HER on another date. On complimenting her. I woudl keep it to complimenting her outfit or something she has chosen to wear etc such as her choice in shoes and avoid compliments that are directly about her. If she has great eyes I guarentee you she gets told that often. At least often enough for the compiment not to be original. Compliment her choices. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 If you must do a movie, No movies. How uncomfortable is it to sit through 2 hours of trying not to make the wrong move ie not knowing or being able to read how the other person is feeling. Movies are a bad idea for first dates. How are you going to get to know her while staring at the screen? Link to comment
dawn515 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Tyler, that's why I said, "If you must do a movie" since he said he thought about going to the cinema. I personally don't think movies make the best first dates. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Tyler, that's why I said, "If you must do a movie" since he said he thought about going to the cinema. I personally don't think movies make the best first dates. Hey then just come out and say its a bad idea! Link to comment
dawn515 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Hey then just come out and say its a bad idea! Well, it's not a TERRIBLE idea! I would definitely come out and say it if I thought he had something planned that was TERRIBLE! I think movies can be okay as a first date, as long as there is either dinner or drinks afterwards. At least it's something to talk about if the couple involved are shy or having a hard time about topics to discuss. Hey, it happens! Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Well, it's not a TERRIBLE idea! I would definitely come out and say it if I thought he had something planned that was TERRIBLE! I think movies can be okay as a first date, as long as there is either dinner or drinks afterwards. At least it's something to talk about if the couple involved are shy or having a hard time about topics to discuss. Hey, it happens! Now before didnt you say that it was not the best idea? Implying its not really all that good of an idea? Or did you mean it literally? Sure its not the best idea like maybe going for $2000 lobster and steak dinner, and sure its not as bad as a date at the morgue. But its uncreative, leaves little room to talk and get to know each other. Even if you go for drinks afterwards, provided no one is to tired to go, is talking about the movie really getting to know someone. And for shy people is it really giving them the push to get out of their shell and talk about more "real" things. Just curious. Link to comment
Beec Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 A movie is not a great first date, normally, but it can also work out just fine. If you watch a movie, then you go someplace after it to talk about what you saw, then it can work fine. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 A movie is not a great first date, normally, but it can also work out just fine. If you watch a movie, then you go someplace after it to talk about what you saw, then it can work fine. Sure a lot of dates work out fine but the point is you dont spend your time getting to know each other. Sure its worked in the past and will work at some point in the future. But its a cop out in general. Not to mention expensive these days. $30 for 2 plus everything extra. I say no dice. Link to comment
Beec Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Sure a lot of dates work out fine but the point is you dont spend your time getting to know each other. Sure its worked in the past and will work at some point in the future. But its a cop out in general. Not to mention expensive these days. $30 for 2 plus everything extra. I say no dice. If he has already planned for the movie, and she knows it, then he should stick to his plan. If he has not, then I would consider a change. If he is shy and not used to dating conversation, then I would suggest something that involves and activity. I usually chose dinner for a first date, and I make sure it is a casual meal, when I was dating (only a few years ago). For my second date, it would often be an activity. If I were shy, I would pick an activity that you did together, and could talk abotu while doing it. It could be a lot of things. Link to comment
dawn515 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Beec made a lot of good points, many of which I thought but was too lazy to bother typing out. (Thanks, Beec!) No, a movie isn't the BEST idea, but it's not a terrible one. If the OP already suggested going to the cinema, he might be locked into it. If so, my advice is to see a movie first and have dinner/drinks after -- then they can get to know one another and have something to talk about. If he's not locked into going to the cinema, then he's free to make other, more creative plans for this first date, and I hope it goes well for him! Link to comment
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