now this is silly but...

[hannah43]

I cant believe this even made me cry, but, i got to work this morning and checked my facebook as i always do. and discover that my ex has changed his relationship status to 'single'. Now it never said on there that we were 'in a relationship' with each other. But i simply just removed all that information all together, as i never thought it was anyones business in the first place.

 

U dunno why its made me so upset, but it feels like hes saying 'come at get me ladies, im finally rid of her!! YAY'

 

I know he prob means no harm from it as he never really goes on there anyway. But he knows that i do.

 

And i was coping well, but he seems to want to just keep delievering blows to my shield. and im trying to be strong. but all these reminders are making it so hard. yesterday he called my phone which i didnt see till a couple of hours later (mainly because id been hiding it, to avoid temptation!) And straight after had sent a message saying that his phone must have rung me from his pocket, sorry, and he hopes im good.

 

URGH

 

i cant take being sad all the time!!!

[capbit]

Ah facebook, I love it and I hate it.

As a guy, I would say that he put his status to single because he wants to be over you and move on. However, his phone call to you clearly shows he isnt. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is very hard to accidentally call your ex when your phone is in your pocket. Just my thoughts.

[barbielovesmac]

I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is very hard to accidentally call your ex when your phone is in your pocket. Just my thoughts.

 

haha - yeah i agree on that one ^^.

[Stu147]

Hi Hannah,

 

Has it occurred to you that he might have changed his relationship status to single specifically to provoke a reaction from you, knowing that you would see it? So while you are thinking he is advertising his availability he could in fact be doing this because he is hurting and wants to hurt you a little too. When you couple this with his 'accidental phonecall' then it also adds weight to that theory. And also the fact that he felt the need to text you afterwards to explain.

 

You haven't mentioned the circumstances of your breakup, and that may be too personal or sensitive an issue for you, but if you could possible share then it may help to understand his behaviour.

 

Take care...

[Stu147]

it is very hard to accidentally call your ex when your phone is in your pocket. Just my thoughts.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, my father has called me on numerous occasions by accident when he has fallen asleep with his phone in his pocket. And I have, on one occasion whilst driving with my phone in my pocket, managed to text a blank message to my S.O. no fewer than 20 times in a row. Now how on earth that happened I'll never know!!

 

Just saying that it's possible, but in this case it does sound feeble I admit.

[bubblyblonde11]

Accidental phonecalls not likely unless your the first or last entry in his phone, or the last dialed number.

 

Also I agree he probably did it to get a reaction from you, to still see if you cared any for him, I think we are all like that a little just would like a small reaction just to know if someone still cares for us.

 

But don't rise to it again, move on and don't bother with facebook or anything where you might find upsetting information about him, your only hurting yourself hun. Trust me this I know too well.

[Clabs]

Hey Hannah!

 

You'd be amazed at just how much grief Facebook/Myspce etc cause when relationships go awry. They really are evil at times like this and you'd being doing yourself a huge favour by keeping away for a while.

 

So far as the phone call thing is concerned - yes - it is entirely plausible - I have had this happen quite a few times - my phone rings and I can hear one of my mates in the background totally unaware that they have somehow dialled me!

 

All you can do is to minimise any chances of these type of things happening until such a time where you really don't care about pathetic games.

 

You'll get there honey - keep on giving it time.

 

Mark

[capbit]

Just to play devil's advocate, my father has called me on numerous occasions by accident when he has fallen asleep with his phone in his pocket. And I have, on one occasion whilst driving with my phone in my pocket, managed to text a blank message to my S.O. no fewer than 20 times in a row. Now how on earth that happened I'll never know!!

 

Woah, 20 accidental sms's? You must be satan himself. Do you have a candybar styled phone, because a clamshell phone couldnt do that. Im glad my phone is password protected.

[Loris]

My ex called me by accident while she was driving her and 'one of the directors' to a meeting in a company car apparently. I was listening for ages thinking this was her being caught with one of her work colleagues, until I heard "can you get my phone from my bag" then I hung up. It has to be the single most awful experience in my life. Knowing that she could've been with a guy she met and I'd know no different. She swears adamantly that it was a director and not a guy she met, but its all too suspicious for me.

 

Anyway, it is possible (I think).

[hannah43]

Yeah thanks everyone. Well his expanation did say, that it was coz his last dialled number, and his phone is weird coz it has happened before. But that made me almost happy, coz he last called me sunday, and thats a few days ago!

Altho at the same time, i do think hes trying to make sure im still there, i think because ive disatnced myself, and hadnt contacted him, maybe he wanted to check.

 

I did make the RIDICULOUS mistake in my sadness, of emailing him at work, and said basically, thanks for doing that etc. and he apologised for doing it, and said it wasnt meant it that way, he doesnt know how to use it etc!

I hate myself for reacting.

I just cant calm down! Thing is i think i know this is hurting him to, his replies are so cold and short, which i know is his classic 'im hurt' way. But its tempting to just punch him in the face to see him cry!!

 

To explain the situation we were together over 3 years, and basically he decided last thursday that we've grown into friends, and altho he loves me (bs etc) he thinks that we cant be together, because firstly we cant copmpare this relationship to another one. (both our first serious). And whereas we could stay together another few years, at some point we're gonan have to break up. And i know he wasnt the best boyfriend, he was never emotionally avalible to give me what i needed properly, and im hoping one day he'll be a good friend. I know we had to break up, and i need to be alone, to know who i am without him. I just wish some months could pass and i would be fine, and didnt associate him with absolutely everything!

 

I guess im jealous, because he's doing ok, and he's managed to shove all his stupid walls up, and im completely unprotected! Trying to stay busy, but its hard to when all u want to do is cry, and i dont want to depress everyone else!

 

VENTED!

[hannah43]

wow id hate to have to listen toa conversation with him, wondering who he was speaking to, that must have been awful.

And i agree about avoiding all this social networking. It can only cause problems at the moment. Im gonna avoid it for at least a week. Only probelm is my job is so boring, i have nothing else to do!

Think i should concentrate on that actually, sorting out my c.v and getting a fantastic job, which will keep me busy, so im not thinking and reminiscing all the time.

 

This is such a good forum, i read everyone elses problems, but im not finding myself in much of a situation to give out advice. This forum is def my saviour though, knwoing how many people are suffering, and how many people have got through things and are good. its priceless!

 

I need to keep hiding my phone, so im not checking it every 10mins thinking that maybe hes text me. Wish that his emails and numbers could be erased from my brain aswell!!!

I want him to see me ridiculously happy,and attractive, so that he can be sad. Coz i wouldnt take him back, but i just want him to want me!!

[Papillion]

hannah, i feel for you cos i'm in a similar situ myself. it was 3 years for me too.

 

me and her are still shown on bebo as being "the other half of me" and i know we're just waiting to see who will be the first to modify that and go back to showing our status as single.

 

i dont have much advice other than to say get out there and try to enjoy yourself. London is a great place to socialise as you know, so make the most of it. If you were stuck in a little sleepy village in the middle of nowhere then it would be more difficult when you feel like this wouldnt it?

[sao2]

When my ex "needed space" I actually made that sort of change on myspace as she was telling me over the phone. She was hurt that I did it so fast but in my case I was doing it to get reminders away from me as quickly as possible.

 

In any case, don't take those changes to heart, yeah he may have done it to get a rise out of you, but at the same time he did it to reflect the reality of the situation.

 

As for emails and numbers, well emails I can't help with, but I never remember a phone number. Makes it easier to cut contact in such circumstances.