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I'm scared!


P-Frenchie
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I feel like throwing up just thinking about it... About a month and a half ago this girl and I had sex (I used a condom) and I think it was the biggest mistake of my life. It was my first time and I wished I would have waited for someone else... I didn't have any true feelings for this girl (which made me feel bad too). Anyways, we talked about it and we both seemed to be fine about the situation after a long talk. She moved away right after (it was planned ahead of time... nothing to do with the sex) and then a week or so ago she said that she was pregnant. She told me I wasn't the father that it was a boy she had met in the city they were in (apparently his condom broke). Even though she told me it wasn't mine, I felt really scared. She said that it happened 2 weeks ago and that the guy was a jerk. How long does it take before a pregnancy test will show accurate rresults (can she really tell after two weeks). Also, I'm scared that she's lying and I might be the father; there is no real reason for me to believe this, but still... I am in LOVE with this other girl right now and would be devestated if I was having a baby with a girl I didn't love. I used a condom, but I feel scared...

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Don't be scared at all! First of all, if it is not yours, then why is she telling you about it? It's not your problem. Obviously, she has feelings for you still, and not the real father if she says he is a jerk. maybe she expects you to feel bad and be there for her to help her with the baby or something, but again, it's not your problem. If you are in love with someone else, then don't let her ruin it! Even just stressing about it with your girlfriend could cause some problems, because you sleeping with someone else and any talk of a baby at all is not something she would want to hear. Also, being with someone you don't love your first time is the worst, and there is a lot of regret, believe me, i know, but once you are with the one you love, you forget all about that bad time. To me, the first time with the one you love is your real first time if that makes any sense at all. Everything will be okay.

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I've been in a similar situation.

 

1stly, my general reminder is that, except for abstinence, no birth control is 100% effective. The more types of birth control you use, the less likely you'll get someone pregnant (like if you used a condom and she used birth control pills). If all you two used was a condom, there could still be a chance she is having your baby.

 

2ndly, as far as I know and in general, pregnancy tests measure a certain amount of chemicals/hormones in a girls urine... if there is an elevated amount of these chemicals/hormones in the urine, then it is likely the girl is pregnant... but even home pregnancy tests are not 100% accurate, especially if they're taken too soon in the pregnancy. It takes time for these chemicals and hormones to build up in the blood stream to be excreted in the urine, thereforeeee it takes a certain amount of time before the pregnancy tests can accurately measure whether or not a girl is pregnant. The build up of these chemicals/hormones causes the girl's body to prepare for a baby... this means the first sign is usually: She doesn't have a period.

 

She probably took a pregnancy test because she missed her period... and usually this means she's had a month or two for those chemicals/hormones to build up in her blood and urine, preparing her body for the on-going pregnancy, so that she tested positive for pregnancy.

 

Unfortunately, this means you may still be the father if you had sex with her a month and a half ago. 2 weeks is usually not enough time for those chemicals/hormones to build up enough to test positive with a take-home pregnancy test but then again, every woman's different. Mark my words I said TAKE HOME PREGNANCY TEST... the kind you buy at Walgreens Pharmacy and take at home. The take home tests usually advise the woman to wait till they miss a period to take it because 2 weeks is not usually enough time to get an accurate reading from these types of tests.

 

Now, a pregnancy test in a doctor's office can measure trace amounts of these chemicals/hormones and can give a much more accurate reading within the first month of pregnancy... sometimes even within the first few weeks of pregnancy.

 

What kind of test did she take? A take home? A doctor's test? What made her decide to get a test done? Was she already showing symptoms of pregnancy? Had she been with someone before you?

 

I think this IS something you should be at least a little concerned about. You may not be the father, but based on the time frame, it doesn't leave you out of the picture altogether either.

 

As for the girl you're head-over-heels for... deciding to tell her or not is going to be your very difficult choice to make. If you do tell her... I just hope you are 100% sure about what you're talking about and, of course, TRUTHFUL of whatever you tell her. She deserves your respect if you truly love her. How the relationship will fare after you tell her, time will tell.

 

Take care.....

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