Ex Wants Revenge on me?

[digitaldiva]

Before my Ex and I broke things off I said a plethora of mean and unforgiving things to him. Which of course came back on me in a number of ways a few days and months later...same things I did to him someone did to me... Since that time I have taken an evaluation of my past relationships to see where they went wrong so they will not happen in the future. I've accepted the mistakes that I made and learned from all situations as a whole and became pretty happy with myself and just being me...I've known for a while now that he is now married. Funny he got married to someone about 3 weeks after we broke up... I don't feel angry about it because I was also cheating on him. A big mess I know"! Anyways, a couple of weeks ago he started text messaging me, asking me about my previous relationship and pretty much gloating about his. The only thing that pissed me off is that he was trying to rub it in my face and be cute about it. It doesn't make me feel like I wish it was me...The only thing I can feel for him now after him doing that is pity. When I broke up with him, he was so sad and pitiful, pathetic and spineless. When he started texting me about his relationship greatness I just thought even less of him. I'm happy that he has found happiness in someone but seems as if he still has not found it in himself...

 

Seems like he's married and he's still trying to hold on to me some kind of way?.... I think I just need to vent but I also want other perspectives......

 

Thank You

[faeriechyld]

Hello there,

 

I understand you have done some soul searching and realized things about yourself. I also realize that after all of this, your ex is contacting you, trying to gloat about his new relationship.

 

I think you are going about this the right way. The only way he will feel any satisfaction is if you get angry/jealous/upset. If you don't, and you just wish him well, he'll realize that his gloating is not affecting you and he will hopefully move on.

 

Know in yourself that you are becoming a better person because of what happened in your life. Keep that knowledge with you, and if he continues to text message you, just let it slide off your back and forget about it. There's no sense to dwell on his antics, whatever reason he may have to perform them.

 

In regards to your last comment, I don't think he's trying to hold onto you, more like hold himself over you. Texting you about his relationship and how great it is makes him feel better about himself. In his mind, this bothers you and hurts you, and that might be giving him the ego boost he can't find in himself. I cannot imagine why else he would be gloating about this to you. But no, I don't think he is using this as a means to hang onto you, more just to make himself feel better.

 

All in all, I suggest you ignore his attempts at causing you jealousy and pain, and if he can't grow up enough, perhaps it would be best for you to just cut him loose(contact wise) and live and let live.

 

Best wishes.

[charmed]

Hi Diva !

 

I have to agree with Faeirechyld on this one. I will add this.

 

The fact that you have posted this up here means that at least some of his intentions are coming true for him - but of course he doesn't know that.

 

He got married three weeks after you split up - is this true !!?? Thats incredible - sort of in the Drew Barrymore school of dating or something ! That says it all to me. You seem to have done some personal development, and it would certainly seem that you have your head screwed on with this one.

 

You can do one of two things. A, you can start to ignore his correspondance and let him txt away. Or, you can entertain him with your new found mental strength, and push him away by telling him how great everything is with you. Personally, I would ignore him, and wouldn't bother playing the mind game with him - he's far to pathetic for me to do that with !!

 

Hope this helps you some,