Need advice

[joanna1980]

I was just broken up with and it has been a month. I still think about him constantly. It is really affecting my life and education. I want so much to knock on his door and tell him how much I love him and contradictory to what he says, I feel that we are right for each other. We have tried being friends with each other but it is so hard when he doesn't give me the attention he used to give me. I used to be priority....number 1. He has started fights with me because I went out with a neighbor, who is concerned for me, to play pool and get him off my mind. I was accused of going on a "date" and that he wasn't jealous. He said he doubted the genuiness of my heartache. He told me that we aren't right for each other. We have been in a few big fights since the break up. The other day I told him I can't continue talking to him and he laughed it off. Told me it didn't affect him if I called or not. I really want him and than I don't. I have tried to see why he is so significant to me.Why should I want him around when he has been cruel and manipulative? Can someone help? I feel like I am losing it.

[enadevoli]

he is a jerk. if he doesn't care about your feelings, then he's not worth it. not having any contact with him is the best way to get over him. you seem like a caring person & you deserve so much better. you just need to get over him & it could take some time, so just be patient. remember, try not to have any contact with him (phone, notes, seeing) it could just make you like him all over again.

[joanna1980]

It is so hard to not think of him. I am slowly getting better. It feels like I will want him forever. I hate him and I love him. I am dreading the day when I hear of him being with another woman.

[closer_nin]

Hey... I use to live in CALI... listen. Trust me, when you put everything you have into a relationship you only hope for the best. You know that playing pool with a neighbor is not against the law. If you hooked up with the neighbor, that would be a different story. He can't hold that against you and if he does, it sounds a little immature and that in fact he is jealous or bitter. If he really didn't care about it, he wouldn't question your heartache, but he did. Regardless of the fact, you sound like you really did love him. This makes it difficult, but don't fall into the trap of being manipulated. The best thing you can do, is pick yourself up and think and believe that it is he that missed out. If you truly love him, give him the space that he wants and move on. Make yourself better and work on yourself. You are very young, 23 is the beginning. You have a 6 yr old that is counting on you... is that not motivation enough to get going? If he really cared, he wouldn't put you through this. He would help you and try to understand you. Laughing and mocking only shows that he didn't have the love that you had for him through the 4 years. Walk away, your better than that. Make something of yourself... in time, he'll see that you became this wonderful independent person, and when he talks to you... then you can ignore him.

[joanna1980]

You are right...he doesn't deserve me. I will be a friken doctor in 5 years and will move on and find a guy that didn't screw his life up and take it out on someone else. He is very manipulative and cruel. I haven't called and I won't. I hope to god I don't see him. We live in the same community. I am healing and it is taking awhile. I will get over it and be stronger. My mind tells me this. My heart has to catch up

[persephonesleeps]

you deserve to be treated with love and respect

he sounds immature, inconsiderate, and seems to lack awareness

learn from it...try to let go...and move on

I would suggest 'no contact'...it is very hard, as I am going through this myself...but I think it is the only way to heal once you realize he is not the one for you