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closer_nin

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Everything posted by closer_nin

  1. Don't Quit... Don't ever give up... Talking to your mom and posting a message out here only tells me that you are stronger than most in the same situation. The self harm stuff needs to stop. If you are struggling and things in life are killing you, stop making it worse by hurting yourself physically. You feel down, emotionally keep it to that level until you can overcome that problem. TRUST yourself. You sound like an intelligent and determined person. Seek PROFESSIONAL HELP. We can advise you and send you our deepest and most sincere wishes and advice, but we can't help you in this forum as a professional can. Lastly, if you have the time... volunteer with work. Sometimes working with the less unfortunate can teach you about true human will and survival in this world. I have worked in the slums of NYC helping people with disease, adversities, and just plain no hope still make it out there. ITs a day to day battle. Your LOVE for your family only tells me how strong you are. Please show that Love for yourself and in turn you can give back more to your family than you ever imagine. Keep talking, and also believe in the better.... Good luck
  2. I couldn't imagine that weighing in at 107 would make you have a huge noticeable pooch or even love handles... 107 is considered skinny. You need to look at how tall you are and also longterm consequences of not eating enough or right. Being skinny can sometimes lead to very serious problems later on in life because your body stores fat for many reasons. If image is everything, then you need to reconsider at what cost 6 pounds means to you. I know you said you ate less because of anxiety separation (which can be a disorder also), but when this comes into play you need to check your head and game plan. You can still eat less, but you also need to exercise. Eating a smaller portion can result in malnutrition - you can lose muscle in time also. The effects may take years for you to see. I think you are eating more, because in part you feel comfortable when you are with your bf, whereas before you were really worried about what people say to you. Trust me, ever think that people might have been saying nice things like wow you are skinny, because they knew you were down because your boyfriend left? (Just a different angle). You say you don't have a eating disorder, but it sounds like you may but driven by desire and self image and other forces that result in you being less apt to control what you eat or how much of it. Good luck. Being skinny might make you feel good by image, but do you often get sick and does it take you longer to recover? Best of luck..
  3. Princess777 Hmmm what a predicament???? First of all, its your husband and if you've had a faithful and honest relationship I would believe his side of the story until you actually see what the charges (police report) are. His true motivations as to what happened that night may never be revealed to you so you need to think more with your mind and not assume too much in front of him. You can have your doubts and you can ask questions, but just know that he will be defensive. Apparently, if he get angry... there must be something to hide. People change their stories because they either think they can get away with it or realize that they don't want to get into trouble. This is a serious offense. Battery is no joke. The next thing that you need to consider, is who else was a witness to this incident. If the woman pressed charges, the police may have gotten a few witnesses. You need to get a copy of that report. Remember, you can speculate all you want... but you can save face to. You need that report... did I say that enough.... Good luck.... sounds like a tough situation.... peace
  4. Listen, this guy likes porn and likes to take pictures of other women and keep them on his computer.... hello???? Maybe at first you had the big dream that if you moved closer, worked harder, and accepted his ideals and life styles that maybe he would come around. Well I wouldn't say that you didn't try, but I would say that enough is enough. If you consider yourself to be in your "prime" and he's still looking at other women who are nonexistent to him and you're right there... its time to go. Time is money, and your life is not worth being spent by someone one who doesn't appreciate the value of you. Its ok to have a hobby, but when this hobby affects the realtionship and what's really important then you really need to think about it. Trust is key in any relationship, friendship or otherwise. If he lied to you, then what else do you not know about him that he will never tell you about. What else has he benn up to? I'm not saying he has, but if you know for sure he did what he did and he is trying to cover up, then the trust factor is gone. You trust your body and heart with him, yet he lies to you....hmmmm check your head and your heart this time... maybe its time to check out.... peace
  5. Look, think first of all what a relationship means to you. Then think about what love really means to you. Then think about why you are even asking this question. Ok. Ready. First of all, if you really really really love this guy then I believe that you shouldn't even be thinking about letting him go. If you like to let him go, then let him go. Every relationship has problems, it sounds to me like you might have different motives here, or are just looking for an excuse to break up with him. If you want to break up for him because the arguments really bother you, then just break up. You say you think that you need your space to grow and so does he. Being at separate colleges allows you to do this, especially since you see each other once a week at most. So I really don't understand... hmmm we spend 6 days apart and 1 day together and you can't grow independently? Sounds a little odd. If you are arguing about things that are small, then it might be telling you about something that is lurking in your mind, which you probably know but are afraid to say or really admit. Don't waste your time and his. If you love him for real, then work on it and don't argue - talk about it. I think you know what is really bothering you and you need to tell him regardless of how he is going to feel. You need to do what is best for you at this point. Good luck
  6. Mandi... If you thought that the last 2 and a half years were bad and that everything was going downhill, why did you guys buy that house? You said you only wanted him in the beginning, so you shouldn't be shocked or upset really when he wanted to leave. You pushed him away and lost the feeling for him. Sometimes two people aren't meant for each other. When you had the chance, you chose to push him away. If you made every effort and can truly say that you tried your best to make this work then you can be sorry and feel hurt in the respect that you wished this relationship would have worked. If you really care about him, then you should be happy for him and let him be. If you lost the feeling for him, why should it matter whether or not he is having fun today? It doesn't... you confuse me with this. He could be dating everyone in the neighborhood... If you guys had the best relationship and the last 2 and a half years were great, then I could say that you should be shocked and that maybe he shouldn't be dating anyone right now. You see, he was the one trying to keep trying with the two of you as you stated. He probably in honesty felt that you didn't care anymore so thereforeeee he found someone who did or who could fill that space. You told him to stay somewhere else, so with that you cut all your ties. With the house at least, you had a bond whether it was financial or whatever... it kept you guys commited. Without it, and without further emotional ties... the relationship dies and you can't expect him to stick around for you anymore. You need to look at what you let go and wonder why you care so much about it now.... best of luck
  7. Hey... I use to live in CALI... listen. Trust me, when you put everything you have into a relationship you only hope for the best. You know that playing pool with a neighbor is not against the law. If you hooked up with the neighbor, that would be a different story. He can't hold that against you and if he does, it sounds a little immature and that in fact he is jealous or bitter. If he really didn't care about it, he wouldn't question your heartache, but he did. Regardless of the fact, you sound like you really did love him. This makes it difficult, but don't fall into the trap of being manipulated. The best thing you can do, is pick yourself up and think and believe that it is he that missed out. If you truly love him, give him the space that he wants and move on. Make yourself better and work on yourself. You are very young, 23 is the beginning. You have a 6 yr old that is counting on you... is that not motivation enough to get going? If he really cared, he wouldn't put you through this. He would help you and try to understand you. Laughing and mocking only shows that he didn't have the love that you had for him through the 4 years. Walk away, your better than that. Make something of yourself... in time, he'll see that you became this wonderful independent person, and when he talks to you... then you can ignore him.
  8. Listen, First of all who is this guy that you spent so much time with and tells you that if you gain a little weight it is unacceptable??? First of all good for you that you guys aren't together. I know that you may have had your dreams and plans with this person, but he doesn't seem to respect you very much. If he's so keen on your weight, but not on his... that makes him selfish and a hypocrite. Next, if he thinks there is no compromise on raising your future children, then you shouldn't have any with him. I think you are better off, sounds like you are doing all the work. Moving close to him, talking about your future, and trying to keep him happy. That is the problem... you are trying to keep him happy so you guys can be happy... the cost... your beliefs, your thoughts, your identity, your happiness... no good. There are great people out there... when you find one, you'll know and thank yourself for not letting yourself be with someone who is that self centered and really uncaring about you. Peace.
  9. The ultimate problem... you're using the birthday as an excuse man. Think about it. Everyday is important. If you miss her that much and truly care about her that much, you would have called her a longtime ago. If she cared about you, she would have kept her promise. She would have called you. If you know she has a bf, leave her be... she's happy even if her bf is a d^&^(*). Its out of your hands. You will be better off. Don't complicate your life or hers anymore. You sound genuine about your care, but she's given that opportunity for someone else to care for her... that's out of your hand. You can give your care to someone who wants it and can give it back to you. If she wanted the friendship... it only would have taken her a minute to leave you a message. Stay the course.
  10. Look, this guy doesn't appreciate you. This is called, I get lonely and then I call you because I know you will run back to me. So think twice about how he treats you. Its this simple, the world is full of good and loving people. He may love you, but he's just not yor boyfriend material. Friend yes, lover no. So move on. When you find someone who worships the ground you walk on, you'll realize what true commitment and dedication is... aka love. Good luck
  11. Listen, its not easy when you get stuck on someone. I think your feelings for her are deep. It just puzzles me that you can talk about her so fondly, but then ask us the forum whether or not you should leave her. I think you need to ask yourself that. Why do you compare her to other people in your life? This just makes it only harder for you. Also I think its unfair for the other people that could make an impact in your life. Are you worried that if you move on, she might think you weren't interested and then you might regret that? You need to take life by the horns. If she said move on, then move on. You think she is all that, then don't question her judgement. If you care about her and really truly want to be with her and want to wait it out, then do. But I don't suggest the comparison bit to other people. That only limits your chances to find someone else that could be better than her in the end. Good luck.
  12. Listen, check every angle of it. For example: sometimes you like a girl so much that you may think she likes you because you read into her actions. You need to make sure that you are not over reacting. Secondly, she is with a boyfriend. If she really liked you, then she would be with you. There is some comfort in being in a relationship. Sometimes people wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. But in reality its not or at least until they go there only to lose something that they had. Thirdly, running is a great sport and who cares if you can really beat him. That is shallow man. Think about it, if she liked you because you beat him and then you got in a car accident and couldn't run anymore... and she left you then what. Lastly, think again before breaking someone else's relationship. What kind of a person does that make you, and what kind of a girl does that make her if she leaves her man - would you want a girl who leaves you if someone better walked into her life if you've given her everything? Think about... don't be so quick to judge. She maybe cute, and you may like her, but time will always tell. Peace
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