He loves you & wants to marry you, but doesn't call.

[silverlady]

OK Men I need your help!

 

Met a guy, we hit it off. He says he loves me & knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I think I do with him as well. We really clicked the 1st time we met. Yes, we did have sex and we've spoken everyday even after having sex. (I normally don't do this, by the way on a 1st date) But we'd been talking for about a week for about 2-3 hours a night. Then we went to the swap meet the next day, hung out. IT was great actually. Then we'd talk and then I'd seen him again about a week later, I went there cuz I was going down the hill anyway. But now the calls are less. I've emailed him & won't respond, he says he'd rather talk with me on the phone. But even his calls are scarce. He then calls and apologizes the next day if he doesn't call.

 

However, he has 2 kids from a previous relationship, (not an x-GF & she's engaged to someone else) He says is a good guy actually.

 

But every time he says he'll come up, something happens with the kids, This has happened about 10 times. Patient aren't I?? They're at the hospital, he has to watch them for her, cuz she's working. Or, he's not feeling well, etc. We live about 30 miles away from each other as well.

 

She works long shifts so he watches the kids because her fiance is a truck driver and works grave yard. He picks them up at school and takes them to school in the morning. When we are together & I've been to his house, he's great. Tells me I'm beautiful, etc. You know the perfect man. Then he says he's sick, tells me to call him later and he doesn't answer his phone. I'm sure he'll say he was sleeping all day, yeah right.

I mean, I don't see womens clothes at his house, just kids stuff.

We've only been dating a little over a month.

 

He will call and I tell him I want to meet the kids. He says we will in a few weeks, we just need to make sure we're ok before I introduce you to the kids. The thing is, the kids are the problem. I think if I did meet them and he's as sincere as he says he is as I am with him we won't have any problems. It's just convincing him we're ok. The only time I get pissed is when he doesn't call to tell me he's cancelling our date or he's got the kids again. I've asked nicely to tell me he's got the kids and just call to let me know he's got them so I don't wait for him. He says he's sorry, it's been 5 years since he's had a serious relationship & forgets to call. I feel like he's blowin smoke up my you know what. But he sounds so sincere.

 

SO OK MEN

 

Bring it on.......Tell me what you think...

 

Thanks

[jujigatame]

Not calling to say you need to cancel a date is a BIG no-no in my book. That's just plain rude. My friend just got stood up last week, and it left her in tears. It's frustrating, it wrecks trust, and all it takes to avoid is a thirty-second phone call. Minus ten points for this guy right off the bat.

 

However, this guy sounds like he's a good man and a sincere person who really cares about his children. That's plus points. It sounds like he really is busy with the kids, but he probably is just the kind of person who likes to spend time alone on a regular basis and may be feeding you white lies.

 

You really need to talk to this guy about how you're feeling - what your worries are, how frustrating it is that you feel like you're not getting straight answers from him, and how you see this relationship proceeding. You have to be open, honest, and most importantly, soft. By soft I mean that you can't come off as nagging, instead sounding like you've just got some questions that need answering and are important to you.

 

Communication is the root of this whole problem. You have to be a good communicator, or else any relationship will soon be riddled with problems. Good luck!

[silverlady]

Thank You for your responce jujigatame,

He does seem sincere with his kids. I've tried to tell him, that it only takes 1 call to make things ok. He says "he knows, he's sorry, he's not use to having someone care about him or calling that person" Or in otherwords, checking in ..lol

 

Thing is, he use to call me every night. now that's not happening. Yet, he says he misses me and loves me. Yes, we've had sex, but he said if it was just about sex he wouldn't have called me after the 1st time and he has. But I don't know if I just need to stop calling him I guess. I'm trying to be the adult here and call, he said he was sick yesterday, and to call him later. Soooo, I did. 3 times and got his machine. So I don't know. White lies, I mean I really don't know, I've told him over and over, just 1 little phone call is all I need. He says he knows, I'll get better. Yet, he continues to do the same thing. He swares there is no one, he's a one woman man, but my trust in men, and he knows this, isn't very good.

 

He knows it's frustrating, but still does it. He does seem like he loves me, but I feel if you love someone, you try a little harder than what he's doing. Or, maybe it is just a man thing. I don't know. LOL

The 7 year age difference is another concern. He said I don't look or act my age so it's no big deal.

I don't know he's got my head spinning.... lol

 

Thanks for your help.....

 

Silverlady