In SHOCK!

[lilcherub]

Betrayal,rejection,hurt, just some of the feelings I have had in the past 14 hours that I have known how my roommate truly feels about me. You see my roommate was my friend before I moved into her apartment with her.(She was the one who made the gesture of wanting a roommate to begin with) And before she was my friend she was my supervisor for one day when I was working for this clothing store and they needed a fillin at another location. Anyway bottom line is that she has told me that she cannot live with me that she is to anal, that she has always had a hard time living with people because she is too set in her ways. She knows full well that right now financially I can not afford to get my own place, before I moved in I had living on my own in my own apartment, and gave that up to move in with someone I considered family, like a big sister because I thought it would be fun. Before I moved in something catastophic happened to me at work, I tore a ligament/tissue in my foot and have not been able to return to my three jobs since. I have been living here for 4 months and now she is springing this on me. She says she has never been able to live with other people, that she had roommate when she was younger and that didn't work out. She is sorry for the inconvience. That she is not going to kick me onto the street, but that she wants me out ASAP, and she gave me a deadline of tomorrow to tell her my plans on what I am going to do. I have cried, I have vented, the thing that hurts the most is that she has known from day one that it probably wouldn't work, thats what makes things hard. She hasn't said a word to me since last night accept asking me if my fiancee called hoping that he will come to my rescue and fly me out to be with him so she doesn't have to feel guilty. Oh yeah weeks ago, she told me maybe I should get my own phone, wait a minute(its in my name) I hooked it up before i moved in so she would have a phone. And I also pay half the bill *LOL* and she has the nerve to tell me I have to get my own phone line.

 

Should I walk away from this friendship?Is there anything to salvage? Oh yeah and would you cut the houseline phone off if it was in your name.

 

 

Please I need advice.................. cause I thought she was my friend....... and now I don't know what to think.

[Mar]

You're definitely in a tough situation....but bottom line is, she was being honest with you. Granted, she should have known this about herself before she ever considered having you as a roommate, but what's done is done. It's entirely up to you on how to handle the friendship from here on out, I can't advise you on that since I don't know the depth of your friendship. If you value it, then keep her and just let her know that you resent the fact that she springs this on you now, after making the initial overture to have you as a roommate. At the very least, she could have told you at the beginning, before you ever moved in, that she MIGHT have these feelings down the road, since most people know themselves enough to know whether living with someone else would bother them to that extent.

 

As far as the phone goes, why shouldn't you cut it off? It's protection for you, in case she decides to call all her long-distance buddies and run up the bill, ruining YOUR credit. I would DEFINITELY cut off the phone. If she wants independence, she can have it.....but that also means being responsible for her own bills. Believe me, I've been in similar situations and SOOOOOOO regretted leaving the phone in my name after leaving somewhere! After all, she's not responsible for paying it!

[charmed]

Hi Lilcherub,

 

Sorry to hear you are not getting on with your housemate. I see the situation is quite simple really.

 

Firstly, she has a problem. She can not live with other people because of an control obsession - being able to have things the way "she" wants them around her. Firstly, you need to ascertain whether she is worth living with at this stage. The breakdown in your relationship with her may make things under her circumstances, too hard to live with. You need to decide what to do here.

 

Regarding how she is acting, it is somewhat important for you to be sure that she is really being inconsiderate towards you, or she is acting as a result of simply not being able to live with someone. What I mean is - would this have happened to someone else had they been living with her, and if so, would she treat them exactly like she treats you now? It is possible that she simply needs to get her "dwelling" back to a comfortable place - which she would probably see as uncomfortable right now once sharing with another person.

 

So, decide exactly what this situation is - bearing in mind what I've said above - and make your decisions on how to move forward then. I expect that unfortunately, you will need to move out as soon as possible. Anything that might make things easier for you to live there in the meantime should be a priority. This might start with the phone !

 

Hope this helps you some,