I feel like a social retard

[Borashi]

Long Story Short:

I went out to the clubs, drinking and having a good time with a couple of buddies. This one girl who was in a group of three went from the bar to sitting right next to me at opposite tables. My friend mentioned to me she was really digging me, long eye contact, etc. Yet I couldn't stifle forward the will to go talk to her, I was actually intimidated by her looks more than anything else. Then my buddy again setup me and this girl in a game of air hockey, we played 3 games she beat me twice. After the games were over I didn't even go over to her and congratulate her or ask for her name. What the hell is wrong with me and my social skills, I feel like such a coward. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[koolaidnovel]

You're not a social retard. A lot of people are shy, like you, and the situation you were in was pretty damn intimidating. I mean, I think that very few people can start charismatic conversations with a complete stranger, and especially one that is very attractive and intimidating. So basically: don't beat yourself up over it. I would have been the same way, probably.

 

All you can do is practice.

[daywalker2868]

I agree. I've been there. Practise definitely helps. Start with less intimidating situations and people first and work your way up. But get as much practise in there as you can.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

im not into the work your way up in the social category im the go for the throat guy...........

 

the 1st i girl i approached was popular and pretty.........i dont buy into the start in the less intimidating places and work your way up.......as said be4 i just threw myself out there with a pretty girl that was well known by everyone.........

 

if i was you i woulda approached her, hell shes looking at you, me myself i gotta put in work cz no one looks at me, so i just gotta play the guessing game

[Dako]

I was once very shy around pretty women, and somehow it all ended when I became older and less worried about things.

 

1. Attractive people seldom realize they're good-looking.

2. They have the same insecurities we all share.

3. They're no more likely to be rude or coldhearted.

4. They aren't any more vain or shallow than anyone else.

 

I didn't know these things as a young man, but got over my predjudices about glam people. They're people just like us.

[txblues]

charismatic conversations? i wish i knew how also. let me see. this weekend? 2 girls on friday. 2 girls on saturday. that i just approached and said hello. its the same things i would say over and over. are you from around here? having fun? i ended up talking more to few guys and buying rounds of drinks than talking to the girls. its frustrating. but i guess its better than when i stood against the wall all night?

[JohnsburySnipe]

^^^ LOL I can't even count the number of times I've stood against a wall sipping a drink all night at a club or dance. It's got to be the most depressing feeling ever.

[Cheeky Charmer]

The best thing you can do is learn from the errors.

 

The things I regret most are the things I don't do. I've had knock backs in the past but have always held my head high by having the courage and bottle to go for what I want. Some of my most frustrating nights out are the ones where I miss an opportunity.

 

Maybe next time try to be jokey with her, make her laugh. Women are at their weakest when guys are making them laugh. All you need to do then is just say something like:

 

'Hey, I've really enjoyed this (taking your phone out) we're going to have to do this again sometime. I can do Wednesday or Thursday'.

 

Make it appear you're doing her a favour by asking her out.

[dtm123]

Long Story Short:

Then my buddy again setup me and this girl in a game of air hockey, we played 3 games she beat me twice. After the games were over I didn't even go over to her and congratulate her or ask for her name. What the hell is wrong with me and my social skills, I feel like such a coward. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

At least it doesn't sound like you accused her of cheating at air hockey. Or taking steroids.

 

I think you've recognized that these situations, where a woman has shown interest already, REALLY are the times when things should go well for you. Try not to have any expectations about this new person, only have the initial goal of learning a few things about her. If you think too much...Wow she's pretty, wanna date her, wanna make love to her, wanna pay for her vehicle registration, etc...the situation seems too big and it feels like you have too much to lose.

[Desperatelover76]

man losen up, shes not gonna bite (until you take her home ;P) if she doesn't like you thats her problem theres plenty more fish in the sea mate most girls like confidence so if you want one you gotta be confident bro. Simple logic.