Moving On

[lull65]

Hi

 

Thought I would just update on how life has been over the last few weeks.

Quick update - Partner of 18.5 years up and left myself and 3 children wanting more out of life, found a younger woman within 1 week and within 3 months moved in with her.

 

Have now accepted the fact that he has gone and am now moving forward with my life. I have recently met a new man and although it is in the early stages I feel very positive.

 

My ex's girlfriend was tragically killed in a motorbike accident last Friday and he is absolutely devastated. Says that is his punishment for breaking up a family. He is staying with us for a few days and should be moving out at the weekend. But me, NO I wont have him back and as unfortunate as the situation is at the moment I have a new life.

 

Helen

[Master Sasori]

Seems like karma came to bite him back

n the as. The grass probably always looks greener somewhere else. The forces of the universe probably didn't agree with his decision, i personally hope you are happy with your new bf tho.

[thelonelydoll]

Wow - that's a shocker! Stay strong, Helen. I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying your new life.

[tomtommyboy]

Wow what a situation. You're right not to take him back tho, no matter how devastating a death can be, it doesn't make your previous relationship more viable. I can see both sides here tho, and I hope you are able to support him a bit as it can't be easy for him.

 

I'm sorry, I don't often criticise on these boards and it's not my place to judge but I find the idea that his new gf dying is karma completely sick. The poor woman is dead. Whatever the situation I think we can have more respect for her than to say that's "the forces of the universe" punishing her. She has a (now-devastated) family too no doubt...

 

I don't mean to belittle your (very tough) situation at all, but the second post here really did disturb me.

[deelove2010]

I agree with tommyboy!

 

 

It's very disrespectful to hear that someone has sadly passed away due to somebody's bad karma!

 

Accidents happen and sadly people die! this has nothing to do with karma what so ever!

 

Life is full of up's and down's high's and low's I don't believe in this karma stuff cos if I did all my ex's wouldn't be here!

 

and I don't ever wish death on them either!

 

this post has left me feeling very bitter!

[tomtommyboy]

Thanks deelove.

 

Can we just be clear tho: this is no disrespect to or criticism of the OP who's in a tough spot here...hope you're doing OK Helen!

[1guygirl]

yeah absolutely... im in awe of the OP being so mature about it without being b*tchy...no karma was not to blame in this case...just life and its ways and means...

 

anyway all you can do is be a friend, a support in this situation - you have been blessed with a new man in your life while your ex has had his taken away. yes the way things happened wasnt great but im sure he his eternally thankful to you deep inside and is probably realising what a woman you are.

 

i wish you every strength x x x

[swtsmr93]

Wow.

 

Does he want to come back to stay? It's interesting that he is taking the approach this is his punishment for her death.

 

It sounds as if you have a very strong attitude toward this. I will you well.

[IndieRockChick]

Seems like karma came to bite him back

n the as. The grass probably always looks greener somewhere else. The forces of the universe probably didn't agree with his decision, i personally hope you are happy with your new bf tho.

 

wow that is sooo horrible to say. HIS GIRLFRIEND JUST GOT KILLED! and u say karma came and bit him the a$$???!?! what a horrible thing to say. NOBODY deserves to lose somebody like that, wow i hope karma comes and gets u in the butt now for saying that.

 

ANYAWYS u HELEN! be supportive of your exhusband, help him out thruogh the hard times. I know what ur ex husband is feeling, and i know what ur feeling. it is the exact same situation as MY family, except i am the child that got abandoned by the mother. and i know how both parties feel and i know how i feel and its not his fault for leaving u. sometimes people are unhappy in relationships and they dont just get up and leave because they feel like it. 18 and a half years? there mustve been some depression on ur husbands part and deep thinking abbout leaving u and his children. jsut like my mom. after 16 years of beeing with my dad ,she got up and left for another man and i understand and i forgive her. there shouldnt be anymore hard feeligns because there is no point in being mean or having bad feelings!! it makes people more miserable, so jsut hang in there and hepl out ur ex when he is SUFFERING!!

[lady00]

It's not karma. It's tragedy. I hope that you are able to be there for him in this difficult time. I think the most important thing now is to try to set aside your personal feelings and be there to support him as a friend. He is understandably devastated and he will need all of the love and support he can get.

[TropicalParadise]

I agree, it's a tragedy what happened to his girlfriend. But I am happy to hear that you found someone else and that you're happy.

[auburnslp]

Yes this is extremely hard...you have moved on yet a person from your past who you loved at one point has had a really terrible thing happen...I just went throught this myself and I did my best to help her through the terrible time. I think it is admirable that you are doing the same...just make sure that you are very clear that you are willing to be there for him as friends if that is your intention, otherwise, in a highly emotional time for him, he may think he sees and then wants and maybe even expects things to turn around between the two of you...just be careful here, but I think you are a very sweet woman.

[lull65]

Wow what can I say about the responses, they are very touching. Yes things have been tough and still are, at the end of the day he is the father of my children and had and still have no qualms about helping him through this period. I helped him chose the suit for the funeral, helped him write a piece for the paper, and going to support him before the funeral and lend him my car so he can get there. Yes, this situation could have been very different, I could have shut the door on his face when the accident happened, but that is not me - no matter who it is. I now have a lovely man in my life whom I want to have (hopefully) a long term relationship, but still want to remain on friendly terms with my ex - at the end of the day life is too short.

 

Helen