sometimes I feel all alone in our relationship

[scared and alone]

He can be very sweet and adorable sometimes but a lot, he is just a stubborn little brat that can never apologize or say nice things. Like for instance last night he said i was starting to become * * * * *y, for no reason other than I think I disagreed with him about something. He's like that a lot. Now we're not talking and he's still not apologizing. He thinks he can just say or do whatever and I should just shut up and take it. I don't know what to do anymore. Why can't he just be a normal boyfriend and apologize? I swear half the time he doesn't even care. And if he gets angry, he talks about a break or something, he can come up with nothing else. Do I mean that little to him?

[charliebrown]

Why can't he just be a normal boyfriend and apologize?

 

sorry to break it to you, but a normal, typical boyfriend is probably too immature to apologize just for the sake of apologizing and moving on. most men, i've found, are pretty immature when it comes to this stuff. they don't want to apologize because they don't think they've done anything wrong.

 

seems to me like you need someone on your level, someone that will treat you right.

 

what's his sign? i'm guessing taurus or gemini...

[scared and alone]

hes actually right on the border but is SO a taurus. and hes 12 years older than me. i love him to death and i dont want to not be with him, but he can just be a cocky heartless bastard sometimes that thinks hes always right and can do no wrong. he is never going to find anybody if we're not together because nobody would put up with him.

[DN]

sorry to break it to you, but a normal, typical boyfriend is probably too immature to apologize just for the sake of apologizing and moving on. most men, i've found, are pretty immature when it comes to this stuff. they don't want to apologize because they don't think they've done anything wrong.

 

seems to me like you need someone on your level, someone that will treat you right.

 

what's his sign? i'm guessing taurus or gemini...

Sorry to break it to you CharlieBrown but there are typical girlfriends that are exactly the same so please try not to make sweeping generalisations that insult an entire gender. I also suggest that picking boyfriends on the basis of their star sign is not the most mature way of entering into relationships.

 

scared and alone, before you say anything to him it may serve you to analyse your own behaviour and make sure that you never exhibit that same trait because that won't serve you either if he is able to quote examples where you have.

 

Having done that, then I suggest the best approach is to talk to him about it - but not during or immediately after an argument. Do it when things are relaxed and friendly and in a way that doesn't seem like an attack but a problem for both of you to solve together. There are techniques to do that and I can pm one of them to you if you like.

[scared and alone]

He didn't quote examples though, it's just when I don't give into him. He just can't handle someone having a different opinion other than his own. Even when I am being nice he can still be an ass. He can say some of the rudest, hurtful things and not even feel bad about hurting me. And then he doesn't get why I won't talk to him after that. He can NEVER see his own faults. And even if he does, he doesn't care.

[ghost69]

how long of a cool off period has it been? it was just last night. maybe give him 24hours to apologize.

[DN]

He didn't quote examples though, it's just when I don't give into him. He just can't handle someone having a different opinion other than his own. Even when I am being nice he can still be an ass. He can say some of the rudest, hurtful things and not even feel bad about hurting me. And then he doesn't get why I won't talk to him after that. He can NEVER see his own faults. And even if he does, he doesn't care.

 

Refusing to talk to someone when something like this happens rarely helps. But if you have tried talking to him about it and he won't listen or change then you have to decide if this is too big a character flaw to be able to tolerate. I would tell him that this is something that either has to change or you will have to regretfully walk away. See what he says.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Is this somebody you want to spend your life with? If he doesn't care now...he will certainly care even less if you marry him. If he doesn't care that he has no conscience or empathy, doesn't recognize that he has a problem, nothing you will do or say will change that. You either have to live with the barbs, or leave the relationship. His actions are emotionally and verbally abusive. Threatening a break whenever you two have a disagreement is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is the sign of a very insecure person. He is incredibly insecure...that is why he always has to be right and he is unable to apologize. Someone disagreeing with him is a slap to his ego. I am sure he was like this with previous girlfriends.