ex's friend is coming on to me. it feels great. what to do?

[hoppy26]

ok.........my ex of three years left me. we have no contact at my request.

basically she didnt deserve to have me in her life. its been almost 6 months since the break.

 

heres the problem im having. one of her friends whom ive been running into alot lately has been coming on to me. she has been flocking to me at parties of mutual friends for the last three weekends. im loving it. it really has brought my confidence level up a bit. im finding myself more attracted to her every time we see eachother. saturday night we spent the drunken night together in bed. we both just fell asleep. no physical contact....but i did find us close during the night. it just felt good to have someone by my side in bed again. i wasnt even thinking sex. to be honest i wouldnt have been a good performer in the state i was in. would it be wrong for me to pursue this girl? she is my ex's friend, but some how we seem to becoming pretty close. should my ex have any reason to be upset or bothered like this? i mean shes the one who let me go. should i even worry about my ex's feelings after all she put me through? some of you might say "rebound". im not ready for a relationship. i am over my ex

but want my time ive been given to work on me. what do you all think?

[possiblenovelscript]

If it feels right, just do it. Your ex is your ex - you have no obligations towards her, so you should pursue your happiness - if anyone should care about what she might feel it's her friend, not you, and she obviously thinks it's OK to be with you...

 

Do what you feel is right for you, not your ex. Good luck.

[Princess777]

Hello Hoppy,

 

I agree. You have no obligation to her. It would be different if you broke up with her to be with her friend, but you said she broke up with you and this has only recently blossomed into more. You are a free agent and as long as the girl genuinely likes you and is not using you for information, I don't see anything wrong with it, However>>>> Be careful! I'm not a very trusting person so take this how you want... some girls do this because they CAN. They want to see if they could have their friend's guy. It's just stupid I know but I know a lot of girls who have done this, even when a couple is together they try to see if they can get the guy. I know it's evil but just watch your step OK... just trying to help and keep you from getting hurt. Only you can figure out if her feelings are genuine. Why not just hang out with her for awile, go dutch when you go out, that way you're not "dating" her, and then you can figure out if she's for real. Don't be surprised if your ex starts coming around, AGAIN, it's the "because I CAN get you back" phase.... I hope that doesn't happen to you. Just have fun and I am glad you feel so much better about yourself. However you should feel good about yourself even if this girl wasn't hanging around you!

Princess777

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

The only person who should really be ashamed of herself here is the friend who is making the moves on you. You however are a single man, so that is the only plus I see here. I believe however that this "so called friend" is a sneaky sniveling person. Some people would call her a bird dogger. I have no respect for bird doggers. Bird doggers are people who wait until they find someone who is vulnerable (especially someone there so called buddys just got done with, and they hop on to them. And think about it from this aspect if anything else, she i syour girlfriends best friend , which means birds of a feather flock together, so unless you want the same drama you ex just gave you, why would you want to put yourself in this kind of situation to begin with.

 

But its just a little bit too good to be true.

[hoppy26]

i wouldnt say they are best friends. they are friends. im not rushing into anything. i need to see what kind of intentions she has first. i will enjoy our time together and take it as it comes. my ex has a knew boyfriend. she has for awhile. she really shouldnt have any say in the situation. as for this other girl.....wouldnt a friend want a friend to be happy? meaning if she wanted to date me shouldnt my ex be happy for her if shes a true friend?

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

I am starting to feel like maybe your didnt explain something to me. Because how can your ex' be a good friend to you, but not even make contact with you. Even if you suggested it, after 6months, a real friend would have tried. However that's just my opinion. My friend of 4 years has not returned my calls in about 6 months due to the fact that I now have fallen in love with another man, even though he swore up and down that he had no interest in me... but i have not given up on him since. I am not a fairwheathered friend.

 

I think your the good guyin this, but try to keep it like that. What was the reason you and the ex split in the first place...tell me this, and then maybe i can correlate the two and come up with a better explanation.

[hoppy26]

to be honest i dont know what happened. she decided she needed a "break". all i got was a bunch of "i dont knows", "im crazy right now", "you deserve better". along with "i want to be with you just not right now" etc, etc, etc. she basically left me hanging with no closure.

it was tough. i did the wrong thing of trying to get answers. thats probably what pushed her away for good. in my defense she played with my head for the whole five months after we broke up until the point of zero contact.

so after three years of believing the "one" was here to stay she just bailed. she was my bestfriend aswell. but i believe after a situation like this zero contact is best. so anyway.........what i was saying before was

that my ex should be a good friend to this other girl. i could care less about a friendship with me. as far as im concerned she blew every oppurtunity to do so. like i also said. im not rushing into anything fast. im 26 and tired of believing the girl im with is the one. i need to try this dating seen thing.lol one more note. the ex was going through all kinds of personal problems when she broke with me. she got kicked out of college for not going. she had no job. she had money problems. she didnt like living with her father and so on. she said she didnt want to drag me down with her. i had just started my own business when she left so the timing was bad in that aspect. ive let all this make my own personal live a living hell. i can say that i have made a 180 over the last 2 months. the 1st 4 were almost unbairable. anyway....ive learned alot from this site. its been a huge part in my "recovery". anymore thoughts?

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

First off, you have nothing to defend youself about. You sound like a nice good stand up guy to me buddy, she sounds like the one who needed to be defensive not you. You have done nothing wrong here besides being a chick magnet. But hey, who's complaning about that ?

 

I just want you to be careful not to get caught up with the same type of female that just put you through the misery. GUARD your heart and your reputation. Those things are very important.

 

By the way , your ex sounds like she may have had a little extra friends on the side herself..if you know what i mean. The whole "its not you, its me" " you deserve better" those are guilt statements from people who tend to have something to be guilty about..JUST A THOUGHT