Annoyed Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 My fiancee of 6 years has decided this weekend that he needs more space in our realationship and I don't know how much more I can give. He is always gone (friend's house) on Wednesday, Friday, and goes to school/work till 9:00pm every week day. I also go to school and work some week days and every other weekend. He told me he didn't even want to be in a realationship but he didn't want to lose me. He knows he's being greedy but won't change. He says I'm smothering him but when ever I try to get close he wants to play his online game or go to a friend's house. I can't stand being with him like this but I love him so much I just can't let him go. We have tried to work this out with giving him more time away from me because he says that's what he wants. Is there anything that I can do to help him? I can't live without him but he doesn't want to live with me but he does. UGH! Why must guys be a total pain in the... A few more details into us is that we have lived together for 2 years, have no children, and don't share the same intrests. Anyone have any good ideas on what to do just to have fun? Maybe if we find something in common that it will help. We both are stuck in love and need a way to make it better. He likes sports, playing video games, hanging out with his friends, and playing more video games. I like shopping, selling on ebay, watching movies, and going to clubs. We are 22 and 21. I think I have said enough here. Sorry about how long it is but I just couldn't stop...HELP me PLEASE! Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 I have a co-worker back home in the same situation and I've talked to her about this subject a lot. Drag him to the clubs with you or play some sports with him I guess. I find it kind of dumb he he doesn't want to be in a relationship and yet be in a relationship. This isn't in anyway your fault that he's always going outta the house and to other people's houses, that's basically his choice. As much as you try to make him change, he probably won't because the only person that can change is him. I find it very saddening that he doesn't even want to spend any quality time with the one he loves, pretty much makes you feel abandoned and unimportant to him. Anyway just keep on doing what you are doing to try to spend some time with him and if nothing works then either you need to set an ultimatum down or break it off with him if he's not even appreciative of the time spent with you or if he just wants to do his own thing. Good luck to you and I hope that you can work through this. Musicguy Link to comment
misscitygrl Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Okay if you want things to work you need to find a common ground. What made you guys fall in love in the first place?.... see what he likes about u and what u like about him... talk about it and take it to another level. Depending of the communicaton level between both of yous... ask each other questions... Open up dialogue I know after 6 years you probably think you know all you need to know but things change with time.... and pp change... stay updated ... Happiest moment favorite fantasy sadest moment most embarrassing anythinmg that comes to mind.... be creative I suggest that u try to get some sort of appreciation for what he likes as well... example=== if he like football and u have no clue on the game, rules, players etc...ask him .... try to be interested..... follow up on current events.... read sport headlines (newspaper, online)... what u don't understand ask him... i used to like this guy that like baseball... i had no clue on how the game worked... so i asked a friend of mine to explain the game..he even drew a diagram for me...(try to make it fun) b4 i knew it i was watching games on my own.... try going to a game and a romantic dinner afterwards... u need to be his buddy and lover give him room though ... he needs to have a social life outside of u as well... Stay busy (productive) as well.... guys seem to miss you more when they don't have u around all the time... GET OUT OF THE ROUTINE. Okay with all this.... ask yourself what he is doing to make it work? Be honest with yourself... because u can try everything on the face of the earth but if he doesn't want to be in the relationship ..there is nothing u can do... Best of luck... PS: Since you're engaged do a google search on: "questions to ask before marriage" (They might be helpful in detecting future issues). Link to comment
Annoyed Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 Thank you for all your help. It helps to get ideas from others when I have run out of them. I needed a few new ones Link to comment
meanlady1 Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Hi Girl, You don't have to change yorself for him or pelase him, that won't work . Gee, you 2 are still very younge, He is 22, probable he finds there are a lot of good life ahead of him and he does not want to be tied up by current relationship. It make you sad I know, but knowing the truth before it is too late( Thanks Go you have no kids yet) Have you ever thought you can "cool down "? If he is meant to be yours, he will be back, if he doe not care all all, then that is too bad for him, you have to move on Remember ! You do not have to pelase him in order to make him love you, it won't work by this way. If he really care for you, he knows what he will do Link to comment
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