Need advice, what shall I do?

[Archivist]

Hi everyone,

 

Its been just over a week since my girlfriend broke up with me, i think the reasons are that we are still young and we've been together for 17 months already. She said that she didn't feel the same about the relationship anymore.

 

When she broke up with me she told me that she still wanted us to be friends, i am still her best friend. She didn't want me to disapear from her life. I told her i just want her to be happy and i'd like to be friends but dont epect me to be able to do that so soon.

 

I still want to get back with her, and i have been listerning to peoples advice, i have no contacted her in a week and today she msged me on msn. It just seems so werid, we talk about normal things, but it just seems like pointles small talk.

 

I want to not contact her and give her time and space so maybe might realise that i am in fact the one for her. My dilema is that i do not know what to do when she messages me on msn. Shes seen me online for the past week on and off but she never msged me before. Shes being friendly and i am too, i dont want to drive her away.

 

I want her back but i don't know what to do when she msgs me. I really want to talk to her sometimes, just call her up and see whats shes doing, but i know i shouldn't

 

I'm open anyones comments or suggestions.

 

thank you

[Ccian]

There are no gurantees that you could get her back, but the best thing to do is totally no contact. I cut my ex off for two months and she came running back then she got cute again with me and i cut her off again about a week ago. When your not in the picture they see what they had. But it takes time. No contact, no emails no text mess, no phone,, no cards no letters, no excuses. So go out have some fun, get real busy. I know its hard,believe me Its been 4 months since my relationship ended but i am talking from experience. 2 months no contact and I am the love of her life again. So, thats all the advice I can give. U have to be willing to walk away to get them back, but again u never know.

 

good luck and stay strong

[Archivist]

I see, i understand what you are saying, but theres no way i will be able to totally cut contact with her. If i did i would have to block her from my msn which she knows i've done to her before (i did it when we used to like each other and flirt online, but nothing ever happened so i decided it was better off that way) not to mention a dozen other friends we both share. I'd also see her when we are both socialising. I apreciate your advice, but i just dont know it that could be possible.

 

I'm open to more suggestions.

 

I've been talking to her for the past 2 hours or so, she just told me that one of our friends will be back from holiday this weekend and we can all go out to lunch with her. I don't know if thats a good idea, i probably won't go saying that i'm not ready yet, just like she needed space when she broke up with me i now need my space to move on. I think it would just be tourture for me if i went, but at the same time i really want to see her. Deep down inside i can see how i'll just be disapointed if i go but i dont want to push her away, isit really for the best?

[Archivist]

just an update!

 

She asked me to go out for lunch with her and our friend who will be back from holiday this weekend (she doesn't know what we've broken up yet either).

I said that it probably wasn't a good idea, that i needed time and space to step back and get on with my life, just like what she wanted when she called for our break. After that she asked if i have any idea how long it would take for me to be able to start treating her like a friend again. I said that i still see her as a friend, but i needed time to sort my feelings out.

 

I asked if she thinks that i wasn't treating her like a friend, she replied that friends can go out to lunch with each other. Then i said it.. I said we both know that we want diffrent things at the moment (she wants to be single, and i still want her back) so i didn't think lunch would be a good idea. I said that to be able to do that i'd have to let go, and i havne't yet. I finished with i am still here for you, just not in person yet, and she replied that she is always there for me and that she hasn't fully let go either, she just thinks that we should try to be friends sooner.

 

I hope what i did was right, it was really really painful, i'm just not ready to do anything like this yet. I hope i didn't push her too far away. Im am really stuck on what to do now.