Serious Questions

[secretlover]

Hi,

 

I'm a guy, and me and my gf have been together for two years, and we are totally in love, but have been taking things slow. Before this event we had only been kissing. Probably because she is very shy...I think. We have no intention of sleeping together yet though.

 

Anyway, around Christmas, I swindled with my parents to let my gf stay the night and we were both on separate sofa's. Now we was kissing for ages, and then decided to go to sleep. I turned the light off, and lay down. I was kissing her hand for ages and then I came over to her and kissed her again, with the lights off. I ended up touching her boobs and then sucking them, and then I guided her hand to my erection. She was wearing PJs and I was in jeans. She started to grasp it alot. This was a great surprise since she is usually very shy. So I undid my fly, and guided her hand in, and she grasped it and pulled it out, before starting to stoke it slowly. At this point she guided my hand down to her vagina and guided my hand showing me out to rub it, hard and slow. So I rubbed it just like that, and went underneath her pants and did that for a bit before fingering her.

Everything was going OK, and then all of a sudden when I was close to orgasm she stopped and pulled my hand out. I am not sure why, but because of an increase in breathing, I think she may have been close to orgasm too. Oh, and then we stopped, got done up, and got tidyed up, and went to sleep. And we havent spoken about it since. Like I said. She is very shy.

 

So, questions, and ASAP please, cos she is staying the night next week again.

 

1) Why havent we talked about it, at all?

2) Why did she pull my hand out?

3) When she was masturbating me, should I stop her before I cum, or not. I am not sure if she would like it or not. Not sure about that one.

4) And oral. I dont really want her to give it to me, if she doesnt want to, but I would like to with her, if she'll let me. How do I bring this up with her, since we dont discuss sex topics really. Like that time, it just happened. And has happened since, and hasnt been discussed since. So, if it happens again, should I like just whisper in her ear, 'I wana lick you out...'

 

Little help please?

 

Thanks,

 

S.L

[Cardinal]

1) Because you didn't say anything to her about it afterwards.

 

There is no harm in talking about sex with her. I'd just bring the subject up somewhere outside of the bedroom and have a talk with her. That is why you don't know the answer to any of the questions you asked.

[zerohalo]

I'm guessing you both are a bit on the young side based on the situation's you've described.

 

First, you really should talk about things. What if you two start doing this again and you let things 'just happen' and you have unprotected sex? As to all of your questions, it really just boils down to first times.

 

1) Have you brought it up? If she's shy, she'll most likely not bring it up, so you may have to take the bull by the horns and initiate the conversation.

 

2) She was scared most likely. If this is new to both of you, and she's shy and you're doing these things in your parents home in a room with no door, that's a lot for two young people to take.

 

3) Discuss it with her.

 

4) Again, discuss it with her. If she's not open to these ideas, and she can't talk about it, you both should wait till you actually can talk about it.

[Zampotne]

I also agree that you should talk to her- however, if she is shy and doesn't want to talk-

If she has stopped you when you are close to orgasm more than once, I would assume that it makes her uncomfortable. Since you two are taking it so slow, maybe she thinks that this act is going too far. Perhaps you should wait longer. Hey, there's always masterbation if she is going to leave you hanging like that. Be patient- think of it this way: at least your relationship is progressing. Even if it's slowly, it's moving forward.

 

I don't think it sounds like she is ready for you to go down on her. However, if you insist on trying- saying something like "i wanna lick you" wouldn't be the best idea. If she is as shy as you say she is, that would make her uncomfortable. If she had her shirt off, you could simply start kissing her down her stomach and slowly take off her pants. It doesn't need to be talked about to be sexy. Good luck.

[Satsuma]

Communication is the key here. The only way you will get answers to this is if you talk to her about it.

 

She might be shy about bringing the topic up but she might be grateful if you did it for her. There could be many reasons as to why she stopped etc so you should ask her.

[EvaGina]

You are going to have to talk to her about it.

if she is really shy, I reccomend, waiting till she is in your arms, and facing away from you, perhaps watching tv or somthing? shy people tend to find it easier when not looking people in the eye.

 

jsut ask her outright, ask in a soft, gentle voice, dont make her feel pressured.

you sound like a great bf good luck!

[secretlover]

Thanks to everybody for their advice. I shall try having her look away from me when I ask her.

 

And thanks for that. I try to be a good boyfriend, but long distance relationships are hard. Still, I'm totally in love with her.

 

I'll let you know how it goes.

 

-S.L

[Locke2121]

Just ease into it dude. Actually, you're letting her take her time, which is good. Rushing a woman really isn't a good thing. Each time she'll get more and more relaxed and will be willing to go just a bit further.

 

Next time step things up a bit. But if she stops you, respect that.