smackie9

So you got caught up in some fantasy. This girl was in it for attention to boost her ego. You can see this will never become anything. Please just let it go. Next time stop investing yourself in chat buddies on line. get out there and meet people. Go out and do things with friends, go to parties, have a social life. Doing those things will take the desperation out of looking for someone.

On 2/18/2024 at 4:15 PM, LizardLover said:

I can try but it's hard to grasp the reality of losing the person that meant the world to me for the past 5 years, that I wanted to marry, even though he is not that person anymore.

I did...it's doable, and it was a relief. So damn glad we never got married omg.

I didn't need to read your post...my advice...find a new BF.

On 2/17/2024 at 1:50 PM, AGrPerson said:

I'm going to tell him to stop seeing each other. He said that he's going to forget what happened today if I stop going out with the other person.

He's given me some time to think about it.

What? he's got some nerve saying that to you. Like I said this guy is manipulative....just ew. Jerk written all over it. Common now you are going to let this guy push you around like that? He's making you out to be the one that did something wrong...screw him. Like seriously there is nothing to think about here.

No ending it is the right things to do. Reality check....this guy isn't ready for a serious commitment to a relationship. He's got some growing up to do. This is why we date. To find out who they are, what they are like and see if they fulfill our expectations. He doesn't give you what you expect. He doesn't treat you like a proper Gf...he's too weird. there is so much better out there.

When a guy starts in on you about seeing other when you just met, and comes up with stories about troubling girls he's dated, etc, in one breath says he's interested in you, but then turns and says he's taking it casual...he's being controlling and manipulative. This guy has no confidence and is insecure. He wants to be calling all the shots. For the love of god, just punt this guy to the curb.

How do you handle this? Block/delete/lose his number. Punt this complainer to the curb.

Just let her go. She's very bitter. She's gonna keep taking it out on you....that's a lot of years of pent up anger she has, and no words or actions will change that. She definitely needs time so just stay out of her way.

You can tell her, that you too are adjusting to this, and it has been difficult as well. Then let it roll like it does.

Excuse me??? How to proceed? Think about this? OMG Dump this SOB.

You want to be a priority in a relationship to a certain degree which is perfectly legit. You tried to set a boundary which is what anyone should do. Fact is tho, she doesn't agree, she doesn't listen or respect your request, or your feelings. Your answer to this is to breakup with her. You cannot change the way she behaves because she sees nothing wrong with what she does. You don't have any other options here.

Sorry but what you see is what you are going to keep getting. 

Yes this will be forever, and yes it will get worse as he gets older. How do I know? My mother is manic/bipolar, OCD, narcissistic personality. She's in her late 80's, I am almost 60 so I have seen/been through so much with her let me tell ya. I have seen the way she treats her partner too, and she's bloody mean no matter what. She's on multiple medications, sees a doctor regularly etc. It doesn't stabilize for nothing. You have to live from moment to moment. You will forever walk upon eggshells. That is no way to live. Your kids will suffer from it, like I did. It's an environment I wouldn't wish anyone to live in. 

I still don't know why you are bending over backwards for this guy. You can and deserve better than this man child. 

I would tell him to go find a different life then. I would also tell him how dare he blame you for any of this when he is perfectly capable of making his own decisions. And how dear he selfishly dump his misery on you when you have been supporting his a$$/entertaining him on your dime. He's unhappy...ship his a$$ off to the curb. 

You were friends zoned before any of this got off the ground so there was nothing you did wrong...it was already set in her mind. She wanted something to do so she went out with you thinking it's just friendship/maybe for attention. You didn't know which ladder you were on because she acted all nice and stuff. Being nice doesn't always = interest. Some girls are oblivious to your actions, some know but take advantage. It sucks but this is how is goes at your age. Most girls grow out of that manipulation or they finally figure out men that interact with them are most likely interested in dating them. 

Anyways there's no point in sitting there scratching your head over this. Push yourself away from her and move on from the BS. 

This is what some guys do...it's called keeping desperate/lonely girls on the hook. They just sprinkle just enough attention and watch you gobble it up and wanting more. It keeps you available to him while he can be unavailable to you, and be available to others when he feels like it. My advice...stop chasing him... he is dropping breadcrumbs. 

Just block and delete his number....make sure he can no longer contact you. Grieve, heal, and move on. Then down the road, you will ask yourself "What the hell was I thinking getting involved with someone like that?" It will a seem silly to you eventually. 

You and her just got carried away with the fantasy affair, to which many have gone there too, so don't keep kicking yourself. It was a matter of time either one of you would have met someone irl, and would want to take that opportunity. It's a tough deal but you can't blame her, you were just as much as a participant in this. Lesson learned, go forward with the knowledge to not get involved with someone in this manner. There are way too many risks, with a small chance of reward. 

2 hours ago, Wonder01234 said:

 

Push me as in when I tell him please stop being mean you making me cry, just stop, he wouldn’t stop and keep saying stuff that upset me. He then said he need to make me understand so I won’t make the same mistake again. 

That's mental abuse. 

ya like I said don't engage in conversation just block her. 

When things get bad, that's when you need to stop investing your future with that person. Clinging onto the "good times" isn't a good enough excuse to try and make it work. This has run it's course. 

You can do both. You can just tell her you don't want to keep in contact, and then block/delete go no contact immediately after. Do not get into a conversation with her.  

She masking her desire with "Oh I thought this would help with your depression." That's very manipulative. She's only thinking about herself. 

Don't matter if you see signals or not. If you find someone you are interested in, you simply ask them out. It's that simple. Oh and do it in person, never over text. If they say no, no big deal. It's just part of life.