I am new to enotalone and so glad I found this site. I've been reading the posts and feeling like I'm not the only one with a broken heart. That somebody knows what I'm feeling and they are feeling it too. I have broken up with my b/f of 7 months (or he broke up with me, not really sure which). I saw him last on Feb. 1. Superbowl Sunday. We knew each other a long time ago, but only as acquaintances (I had a crush on him even then), we both married others, had kids and got divorced. His ex started playing headgames after we got serious and he became confused, but decided he wanted to be with me. We have always gotten along so well and the sex was fantastic. Then he started getting distant between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I found out he was emailing someone and making plans to get together with this person. I emailed her and asked her to leave him alone. He got very mad and we split up for about a week. He called and we ended up together again. I had the best Christmas that I have had since my divorce six years ago. He says he wants to "commit" to me and our relationship, he wants me to go online to the dating site (where he met me and this other woman) and resign his account since he doesn't know how. I do and while I'm at it I change his password and email address. I know it was wrong, but I wanted to know who he was getting emails from. I figured if he wasn't getting any then I would know he was being honest and meant what he said about committing. Two weeks later on Friday we have a wonderful time together, Saturday we go to the movies and he's acting distant again. I ask him about it and he swears he's not seeing anyone else and says I'm "weirding" him out because I want to know what's going on. I end up going home and calling him the next day. I try to explain to him that he's lost my trust and to please have patience with me, that he didn't lose it overnite and it won't be gained back overnite. So we make plans for the Superbowl. That night when I am at his house he gets a phone call and takes it outside. Smiling and laughing, then he says it's his ex-wife. I don't believe him, but figure I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But all night while we are watching the game he doesn't want me near him, or touching him. I finally just say I'm tired and go home. I didn't want a repeat scene of the night before. He emails me the next day and says it's not the same. I email him and say I'm tired of his wishy washy ways. Nothing. Then he sends me a nasty email about his dating account. I write back and apologised. He says he's sorry too. Then nothing. I email him the next Wednesday and tell him I miss him and will he ever forgive me. He writes back and says he's sorry he led me on. A week later it's Valentine's Day. The worst one of my life. I email him that Sunday and very nicely tell him I'm doing ok, hope he is. I ask if he was alone on Valentine's Day "because no one should be alone" and he says he had a "Great Valentine's Day" and he went out of town, which means he was with his new g/f. I do not reply and then today I did something stupid(?). I called him and asked him if he wanted to go out to lunch with me on Friday. Or rather I asked his answering machine. I have not heard a word. He's going to ignore me. I've been reading these books on how to get your lover back. There is nothing about no contact in these things. Is it beyond repair? Can anyone help me straighten this out? I have never felt this way about a man before in my life. I have never fought for a man like I've fought for this one. If they didn't want me I just walked, why is this different? I guess this is pretty long, if you make it to the end of this post, then please give me some advice. I really want to know what to do and I am stuck. What else should I do? I am so tired of feeling so bad. I felt so up when I contacted him and then nothing and I'm now depressed again. He knows I still want him in my life, why can't he want me too? Does anyone think there is any hope for us? Please help.
