ajc2774

I have a terrible terrible break up story. My relationship with my boyfriend was long distance, although I am a consultant so I was able to spend at least 2 weeks a month with him. My ex fed me lines for months: You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, would you trust me to buy you an engagement ring, I want to have children, will you move in with me, bla bla bla. I was offered a great job near my home that would make our relationship quite difficult to continue. We decided as a couple that I would decline the job and look for a different one near his home as he had children from a previous marriage. When I declined the job, the company responded that they would create a new job for me near his home. One week later, they called and said that much work had been done and strings pulled, but the job near his home was mine if I wanted it. The next day, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said that in the preceeding 48 hours, his feelings began to change for me and he did not feel comfortable with me moving accross the country for him. So essentially, I got my heart broken in half as well as my career messed up. Following our breakup, I began doing some research into his personal accounts (I know, some people feel strongly against this, but everyone does it). I found that he had been cheating on me for months, had even gone out on the day that he broke up with me and bought sex toys! I uncovered an enormous amount of lies. So my question is: What would you do with this information? Anything? I would never do anything vengeful like spread his credit card account or anything like that, but I'd like to figure out some clever way to let him know that I know everything. Any ideas? Thoughts?

i had the same exact situation including the long distance. i found things i didn't want to find, and then ended up being too honest and telling him what i found. i can't lie. how things turned out: my boyfriend didn't make a big deal of it as he was in the wrong. he stated that he was hurt, though, by my lack of trust. i told him that the lack of trust was validated. in the ensuing few weeks, we did seem to get over the situation. outcome: 2 weeks later, i found out that my job came through that would allow me to move accross the country to be near him. he broke up with me the next day. told me he was too scared / felt responsible for me moving to be near him. i, of course, worried that it was all my fault as our incidence with trust caused the break-up. but, my curiosity still got the best of me. i knew all of my boyfriend's passwords and soon found out after our breakup through credit card and cell phone statements that he had been cheating on my all the while anyway. he successfully made me feel responsible for our break-up when it was he couldn't commit, did all of the betraying, and lived a lie the entire time we were together. morale of the story: don't feel bad for doing what you did. EVERYONE DOES IT INCLUDING MEN. there are good men out there who you will never find incriminating evidence on and you will then begin to trust and lose that curiosity to snoop. your boyfriend may just have been experimenting, but my advice would be play it as cool and calm as possible. you shouldn't break up with him over this, but you should keep your eye on him. it could be a warning sign. be your own woman, stand your ground, and play the game. men always want what they cannot have. good luck!