mylolita
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Posts posted by mylolita
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Evening Duck!
I will add, I have seen a pattern in life and it goes something like this!
Really nice people, genuine authentic people, don’t tend to have loads of friends! They tend to have a select few, even maybe just one, or two. The large masses and circles of groups are quite superficial. How can anyone really get to know and form a deep true friendship and bond with 30 people?!
Don’t worry! Don’t use your own yard stick against other peoples lives or what they are doing or what you feel you should be doing to measure your own happiness and satisfaction!
I would focus on one or two things you’d like to change, make solid steps to change some small things, and go from there! And; maybe join a group or head out to something new and decide to meet some new people, make some new friends, or a new friend, this year or next! Don’t settle unless you really click, same with the dating. I think you did right in that regard!
It’s okay to not have everything worked out. No one does. Not even the wise old 90 year old rocking on his porch. The majority of people wing it, they just don’t tell you! People are making mistakes and have regrets and feelings of being in slumps often.
Life is full of seasons, some last longer than others. Don’t judge yourself too harshly - sometimes we have low points, dull points, good months or great years. It all depends.
I really wish you all the best but I think you’ll be just fine!
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Evening @yogacat!
This is why I really have a thing for meeting people in real life in a natural way because you get that first impression and first feel automatically without having to arrange and manufacture it!
I understand this isn’t always possible, times have changed, but I feel like meeting someone online adds a few other hoops and potential complications that weren’t there a couple of decades ago.
If I were on an app now, I’d probably want a phone call just to arrange the date; but I’d secretly be “checking them out” in that ten minutes and getting a good feel for their “vibe!” and like others have said, if it was really off, I wouldn’t end up meeting either!
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What you genuinely have to ask yourself is, not why you wanted her back - but why you got involved with her in the first place?
Sometimes, it pays dividend to look back at our dating history, and take an honest evaluation of all the mistakes and bad relationships we have found ourselves getting in and having to go through the break ups of.
A few years dysfunction in a bad relationship seems to need 8 years of personal strife to unpack and get over. Ideally, it’s best to not go there in the first place.
Maybe the analysis should not be aimed at the ex or their actions, but actually inwardly, at yourself and your actions? Or we will keep repeating the same cycle in slightly different ways!
All the best
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Mustn’t grumble 🇬🇧
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Because you mean so much to me! Because, you mean so much to me.x
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I have a few ol’ little things in this hand of cards I was dealt… one of those is, oh! What’s this? EN-ER-GY!!!!!!!!!
It’s rained the whole night. A street lamp shines religiously down into the back lane, casting a halo atop the showers.
Have you ever seen anything so God damn pretty as rain drops hanging from an empty washing line?
It’ll all break your heart in two if you look too long.
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On 3/28/2024 at 11:37 PM, mylolita said:
Only thing missing is sh*t posting 🤣
Amen x
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It’s nearly 1am, the embers of an evening fire are dying. I’m here dancing around a pitch black living room off the back of such a lovely weekend, only a hundred candles to light my way.
I thought you might appreciate my midnight SANG @yogacat!
I’m feeling strange. I’m feeling woke up. I’m feeling great! I’m feeling like, it might just be now or ever.But most of all, I feel like dancing.
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4 hours ago, boltnrun said:
Never said that.
I said that works for me. For me. In fact, I even applauded you for living your life the way you see fit.
I wonder why, in most threads, you decide to criticise women who live a traditional lifestyle and to hint that they are vulnerable because of it?
Giving long lists of why the men in your life didn’t like you being so independent and that in the end it drove them away or caused you to end it?
You could have saved yourself about 4 posts and just said “I applause traditional values and the women who want to live that way! Each to their own! It’s all good!”
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7 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:
It's been already proven with research published that children with their parents together do far better in life than children who grow up in a single health. Specially in regards to mental health. This is, ofc, so long the parents are not abusive/toxic.
@mylolitaso what would a woman married to an abusive person or in an unhappy marriage do if she doesn't work? These are situations where she'd need to. There's often no financial support from ex husbands to ex wives.
Out of curiosity, do you dress in an eccentric way? Judging the way you write, you sound like a very free spirit irl 😊 almost like you hang out in retro style cafes with plenty of bookshelves. I could be totally wrong though....
And Dark!
I just wanted to answer your question as well I kind of side tracked!
The abusive situation. It’s absolutely terrible. The main defence against that; and divorce, and bad relationships, is just a few things in my opinion. Very simple but exceptionally complex at the same time.
Know yourself deeply and honestly. So that you don’t get into a relationship thinking they have what you want in a partner, to then seemingly suddenly find out actually, they have none of that!
Be a truly good judge of character so you can weed out anyone wrong for you a conversation or 1 date in.
And be picky to the point of self preservation. Take who you hanker down with and especially who you have children with deathly serious. Till death do us part. It’s said for a reason. You just be SURE. Or as sure as you darn well can be.
I think this kind of attitude will pretty much guarantee an avoidance of bad relationships and potentially divorce. You have to pick the right person. That’s actually the hard part. Making the correct decision in the first place. Many people get this wrong and trip at the first hurdle before the race is even ran!
If a woman is in an abusive relationship and especially with children, she obviously must get out and get out pronto.
Here in the UK, the state is pretty good at granting housing, bills paid, benefits and food subsidies. No one starves here, everyone’s children are clothed, no one ever need be on the streets. So women here and their children can go get free assistance with anything from counselling to housing.
The basics and essentials will always be covered by the state here in the UK.
I mean; if the woman was enjoying a comfortable lifestyle because of her partners income; that will probably end; but it doesn’t mean it has to end forever. Why must we sometimes take the sexiest view that, just because she’s a women with limited options she’s so much more doomed than the man? Who’s to say she won’t wipe the floor financially in 5 years time when she gets herself picked up and live better than she ever did even with her previous partner?
For me Dark, it comes down to the will of the individual. If they have energy and passion and drive to make good of a situation, normally, they will succeed in some way and get there. Might not be instant, but if they keep trying, I believe they can do it!
The resources here in the west are fantastic. We are no longer in the 18th century where women were split up from their children to the poor house for life which was basically jail with hard labour in return for damp filthy bed and board. Times have moved on.
Women are not in the drastically vulnerable position they were in our Great Grandmothers time. Even a woman who has nothing, not a penny to her name, and no family, here in the UK can find housing if she has children, and be granted benefits to live, pay bills and buy food.
Now, in this pampered day and age, the question is not survival or food and shelter for mothers and their children. The question is whether you want to be able to support a comfortable and nice lifestyle solo, if things headed south.
In that respect, depending on what my husband had done, I would murder him with peanut oil as he is deathly allergic to peanuts and never carries an adrenaline shot and then, claim his massive life insurance, sell his business, and just, have a mourners holiday with the kids at the private villa, being very sad and very washed up.
LMAO. Only joking.
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2 hours ago, boltnrun said:
I don't "need" anyone with regard to directing me in my life. I do desire and crave to be near the man I'm in love with. I miss him when I don't get to see him. I enjoy spending time with him. I am affectionate and demonstrative with him. I am physically attracted to him. I want him to be happy and to feel good about himself and our relationship. I show him I love him in many ways. I want that connection. When my relationships ended I felt sad. I felt a sense of loss. I missed the emotional connection. I didn't miss his paycheck, it wasn't about that. So yes, I did connect emotionally with the men I fell in love with.
But for the man I was dating to literally get upset because I changed my car battery myself instead of waiting three days for him to do it? Nah, not cool. And he got upset when I didn't run decisions by him such as going on a job interview or moving apartments. He felt I should have consulted him even though we didn't live together or share finances. It just seemed bizarre to me. Was he concerned out of caring? Perhaps. But he clearly stated I should have consulted with him because women need a man's guidance. Yes, he said that, except he used the word "girls" as in "Girls need men to tell them what to do because they're too emotional and they make bad decisions on their own." Yes, that bothered me. So in summary, we were not a good match. He did end up with a woman who deferred to him in all matters although interestingly he tried to cheat on her with me!
People want different things in their relationships. There's no one size fits all.
If there’s no one size fits all, then why do others and yourself seem to think the only way for a happy relationship is for a woman to be financially independent? Or m, I get the impression, have a normal line of work or a normal career?
It’s not each to their own or everyone’s unique and special really, is it?
I have my opinions on what I think is generally the best way for a man and woman to live together. There are nuances to it of course but I stand by my opinions. I am open to my mind changing but, would I be happy sending my kids off to child minders and nursery so I could work 45 hours a week and then come back to juggling housework between me and my husband and who did the grocery shopping and who replaces the loo rolls and all of that?
That’s not for me. I don’t think it should be touted as the righteous thing for all women, either. And if you’re a smart thinking outside the box kinda gal, you know that the age old university and 9 to 5 with a pension plan until you’re 70 isn’t the only way to make ends meet!
I don’t love my husband because he makes a good living. We’ve had desperately insane times in the negative. One month, he made £180,000. Another month, he makes £5,000, another, nothing. No week or month has ever been the same in over 25 years. It’s a generally risky business. I take on the dips and the highs because that’s the nature of his work.
The nature of my dancing at the club was the same. No night did I ever make a set amount. Could be lobster or cheese on crackers. But I loved it because it was all down to me, how much I made every night. Same with my husbands job to a big extent. We are very similar, and like to be fully in control.
With a salary job, you get x amount every month and can plan everything and everything feels very secure and stable. That’s quite right, unless you lose your job I guess, or something else happens within the company. You get fired. People move on.
Most people, women included, would find it insanely stressful to live how we live - but they don’t have to live like me, they can go have a salary job and feel more stable. I’m not like that and neither is my husband. For the risks, we have had some massive pay offs. We’ve also had some shaky moments financially, when he’s ploughed a lot of what we have left into the business and we hardly have a crumb left and he has to come up with it.
I would like to buy another property in the next year or so as an investment, or keep it for our kids. My mind works on many things aside from raising our kids but it’s not “going out to work using my degree” and in that respect, some people I find can’t get their head around the idea there are many more creative and unusual ways to make some money that doesn’t involve a boss and e-mails and a Christmas work do.
I’m sorry some of the women on here have had bad experiences with men, either abusive or disrespectful or backwards, and that’s a shame. I’m lucky to never have been in a bad relationship or gone through a divorce and had to be a single Mum so I can’t feel the feels on that. I can imagine it’s very rough and have sympathy. But life is ours to control. We don’t always have to play exactly by the standard rule book to prosper and be content!
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Truth be told, if my husband divorced me actually, the money side of it would potentially be low down on my priorities. It’s the fact my life and heart would be shattered, and our children no longer had two parents living together in a good place.
I enjoy a great lifestyle and freedom as we are. Wasn’t always like this, might not be like this in 30 years time, who knows?
Do I need to live by all this secure guarantee kind of anti-risk aversion? I don’t know.
In my opinion, my risk financially is low. And sadly, the problems of being financially dependent on a man are unfortunately often problems for women and couples with not much money. It’s a low income issue and for that I do feel very fortunate and privileged. I do live, a very privileged life. I never take that for granted. But this is not all there is to life either!
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I think @rainbowsandroses what others are saying here seems to be that you shouldn’t financially depend on a man? Am I right? Is this all coming down to money?
Well, we can confirm that one straight away and say I absolutely depend and lean on my husband financially. How else could I not work and just be at home with the kids all day? Unless I inherited money or maybe was just from an old school wealthy family, or have investments that paid my way.
My point is, just because now it’s like this, doesn’t mean my world would fall apart necessarily financially if something happened to me.
The presumption made is that just because you are relying on your husbands money (your money, by the way, legally, jointly) you are financially vulnerable.
I accept that would maybe be the case for a section of women in low income households, yes. As you move up and gain assets, your life financially doesn’t fall apart in those same respects.
So many of my friends who married bankers in the 80s and divorced. They had no careers for the most part but they all were left with houses worth millions by their ex husbands and all their kids still getting out through private school and big allowances. It was the man, actually, who was the vulnerable one.
A man who has assets is actually in quite a financially vulnerable position. I don’t class myself as in that position. Unless he goes completely bankrupt. Then we have to sell the business, all our art, our antiques and assets and collections and well, downgrade a little.
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16 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:
It's been already proven with research published that children with their parents together do far better in life than children who grow up in a single health. Specially in regards to mental health. This is, ofc, so long the parents are not abusive/toxic.
@mylolitaso what would a woman married to an abusive person or in an unhappy marriage do if she doesn't work? These are situations where she'd need to. There's often no financial support from ex husbands to ex wives.
Out of curiosity, do you dress in an eccentric way? Judging the way you write, you sound like a very free spirit irl 😊 almost like you hang out in retro style cafes with plenty of bookshelves. I could be totally wrong though....
Aw Dark!
I am AN ECCENTRIC MY DEAR of COURSE I AM! 🎻🤣 Of course! That’s, extremely observant and bang on!
I’m part French! On my mothers side. How do I dress? How to explain! I often wear halter tops, backless tops, low plunge tops (I’m extremely flat chested) with a tightly twisted silk scarf round my neck (it’s often quite brightly coloured but I have quite the collection!) and I love cigarette trousers, silk trousers that flow but are very high waisted, or quite long skirts with wooden wedge heels or heeled sandals! No heavy make up but always lipstick and eyeliner - love red lipstick, plum lipstick!
Love linen trousers in the summer with ankle wrap tie heels! I live a 5 minute walk from the beach and woods!
Love a wrap dress! Anything that high lights the waist! Think they by the way look FAB on ALL female body types!
Don’t wear accessories on the day to day basic like earrings and bracelets but I LOVE a good watch or a belt. Always wear a watch. I have some quite fancy watches, bought for me my THE HUSBAND of course the little heathen I am 🥲 I have a lovely tiny Gucci cocktail watch with 180 diamonds that is vintage. I wear a nice red leather strapped Swiss watch during the day. Nothing chunky.
Love tying scarfs in my hair, love exotic big antique hair clips and claws! Love romantic essences style, basically.
When I did work a regular job I worked front of house admin and social lubricator for the deals at a law firm and I absolutely enjoyed a full three piece suit, with sky scraper heels, or lovely shirts in interesting patterns with pencil skirts. Actually Dark, I could talk fashion ALL DAY I am addicted 🥲☕️
Part of my husbands job is being an art dealer. We have original paintings, especially nudes and portraits, all over our period house! One of my favourite things to do is have an open fire on in the lounge during the day! I love strange Catholic pot pourri! l love this brand called “Santa Marie Novella”
https://uk.smnovella.com/collections/pot-pourri
I have this stuff in antique bowls and giant clam shells about the house!
I have vases of flowers everywhere that I arrange and sometimes go and hand pick wild ones! I always have a vase full in my bedroom, on the bath rack, on the kitchen island, living room, dining room… God, entrance hall! Everywhere!!I collect antiques! I would have took a literature degree if I had to choose a degree. Or maybe art history. I love Greek mythology! Or biology!
First thing I do on a morning is put music on, normally Stan Getz or some kind of bossa nova. I have a sound system that covers most of the house.
My kids probably have a bit of a crafty, beachy, old fashioned up bringing. I considered home schooling very seriously and still do sometimes. I play a few instruments, love to pole dance, love lingerie, collect it a bit actually. Love boxes and have an obsession with Magnolia trees, cherry blossom trees, and Lilac trees! Love gardening as well!Anyway, am I eccentric? Bit bohemian? Maybe 🥲🥲🥲
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I mean!
Just to add. If a guy wants a woman who doesn’t need him, does it all, makes a million dollars a year, is like, super woman whilst still maintaining a 22 inch waist and changing the oil and building a car engine whilst cooking a gourmet dinner then… that’s not me. And he’ll have to move onto another highly educated career woman who has maybe her three degrees hung up on the wall.
I’m an ex exotic dancer who likes to read, write, arrange flowers, be taken care of, in return, take care of someone else, spend money, have fun, light candles during the day and make my own weird and off beat routines as I go along. Obviously one guy found that appealing and we work.
I caveat by saying I am not that career girl and never will be. If I want to make my own money, I’ll do it in a very different way than the standard ABC institutionalised become an employee way.
Me and my husband both share the same sentiment that we simply cannot stand to be employed. It’s a mutual opinion and personality trait. We either make our money by becoming self employed and running our own stuff, or we find an alternative way.
I believe in cultural traditions and their “unspoken rules of etiquette” for the most part. For example, I absolutely adore the old school Italian tradition of large extended family coming together for late evening meals. I love that! And their Catholic institution of marriage. I like it. Sure people deviate, Italy is in 2024 after all. But a part of my, romantic heart, traditional heart and ethics, really delights in that. I even like their attitudes towards divorce. I think divorce is an extremely heavy thing, a terrible thing actually. People divorce often on some silly reason (not you Bolt; but the shame is gone, people do it much more often now).
I also believe children should ideally be raised by a man and woman, married, in a loving relationship. You can’t get better conditions than that, in my opinion. It’s optimum. And ideally as well, a sibling or two is nice.
This is all taboo stuff but I do generally sway towards the more traditional social etiquette. I realise I was a lapdancer. This was before having children and being married but trust me, the irony is not lost. But I’m not 100% traditional and absolutist. I just generally like the more traditional norms and rules.
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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:
I find this interesting. I think in your journal you said you think rule following is boring (I'm paraphrasing so this might not be exactly what you wrote).
I think it's impossible not to evolve and change. Women don't "need" men in order to survive anymore so things almost have to adjust. And there will be growing pains as a result.
I was involved with a man who believed women were weak and helpless and needed men to guide them. A big reason why he and I didn't work out is I was independent, had my own job, supported myself and raised my son (I had primary custody) and I wasn't constantly calling him asking for help or needing him to tell me what I should do. He told me I was strong and independent with almost a disgusted tone. He said "You don't need me". I said "but isn't it better to want you instead of need you?" Apparently not. And I wasn't going to pretend to be helpless just to make him feel better or soothe his ego. (And I wasn't in love with him, BTW).
Other men thought it was cool that I could take care of myself. We didn't spend our time together doing things I needed them to do for me but just did fun things. Or relaxed together. I preferred it that way.
I anticipated this would be brought up!
My opinion to rules on this thread regards cultural etiquette and gender expectations. Aka “the unspoken rules of culture”.
My personal problem with rules and blind rule following tends to start with government involvement and law making, as my political stance is generally libertarian, which means, the least government involvement in people’s individual and private lives, the better. But that’s not for this discussion!
I believe society and culturally, we need the “unwritten” social rule etiquettes. Or else, everything falls apart like the hedonism of the end times for Rome.
I also have an alternative view that, when you truly love someone, of course you desperately need them, that’s the point! If you can live without them and they’re simply this kind of… addition, once everything is perfect and worked out, then really, is it even love?
People have a misconception that maybe because a woman is a housewife, she is a vulnerable, helpless fawn lost in the woods. At the moment, and for the majority of my adult life, we have a mutual and very successful agreement that I will stay home and he will work. This is something that for 16 years has worked brilliantly.
Ironically, I would wager when I was working full time (between 18-22) I probably made more money and for less “work” hours than most of the women here. But again, I am helpless and not independent?
There are also many more creative ways to make plenty of money without formal education and degrees. My husband holds no degree, left school at 15 and has ran his own business now for over 25 years. In this financial climate he still supports us all and I still don’t need to work to maintain a very nice lifestyle.
I would say women who are in happy and successful, traditional marriages, have freedoms other women do not. We get to do what we want - for example, we want to look after our children, find great joy and pride in doing that full time, don’t see it as a vulnerable weak burden that lessens us in society and the work place market. I get to arrange my day mostly as I see fit, apart from obviously considering the children. I have plenty of free time. I set my own schedule. I have access to funds just like my husband has access to our funds. Our investments and assets are joint. The house is in both our names, as are savings. In fact, if we divorced, I would come out even BETTER financially, that’s the messed up thing.
I desperately need him. He is, my rock. He’s my ying to my yang. Where I am impulsive and often restless, he is calm and secure. Where he is a muddled clutz, I add a bit of flare and finesse. We fill in each others blanks and so have no problem admitting I am much weaker without him. That’s the point of being part of a team that actually works - you are stronger together in every way! If I was better off alone or could do life perfectly without him, why on earth would I have said “I Do!”?
To me, the concept of partners being this cherry on top of a fiercely all together worked out person is a sure fire way for a relationship to NOT work out!
I do desperately need my husband. Not necessarily for financial reasons, but heck, it makes it a hell of a lot easier on me! I get to not work and have an extremely comfortable and luxurious life style. He gets the children taken care of while he goes to work by a mother who loves them deeply, not a child minder. He gets home cooked meals made with love and care and my daughters who cracked the eggs!
This isn’t a bad thing, it’s not a vulnerable thing, it’s not a “co-dependent” thing. It’s just two people of a traditional mind set who mutually decided what the best way was to have a happy marriage and raise their kids.
If the world collapsed tomorrow I would make it through. But I actually do not class myself as a woman who needs no help and can do it all. We aid and make each others lives better. I need his help. He needs me, I need him, for so many reasons.
When I was 14-17 and in college, I worked two extra jobs and knew of no other person who did that (I went to a very affluent college). I’m quite a hard worker, when I do work. But my idea of success is living life how you want to live it. And I’m doing that. I don’t need absolute truths or absolute security. It’s not possible. But that’s not what love or relationships are about to me. Life just, isn’t like that. Again, I think this is a false truth that is told to modern women by feminism. That you are secure only if you have a career, or go down a certain path of education.
And with regards to rules as in, the text book? Well, if there were no rules, then, there would be no rules to bend, and that would make a slightly mischievous one like me very, very bored!
I’ve got out of all kinds of things in my time where others have had a rule book thrown at them. I actually class the way I live at this very moment as slightly cavalier and exotic, to some extent, it definitely isn’t “normal” or what the majority do. For example, I am the only woman I know of in this small affluent town we live in that actually stays home full time.
I don’t mean to buck a trend, it just worked out that way. In that respect, in some ways, am I following the rules of my fellow females?
No! I am going against the modern grain. It’s working out; the proof is in the pudding. When it stops working, I’ll change my tune and adapt as we all have too, but until then, this feels like a sure thang!
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14 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:
It’s too much @DarkCh0c0 😭🤣
I’m feeling the love 🥺🤣🤣🤣
Nothing puts me in a better mood than hanging out washing on a line with a gentle breeze on a Spring morning 🥴
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My shopping vibe…
🤣🤣🤣
No but seriously, that owner of that outrageously tacky reproduction antique shop in Vegas just saw Christmas Lottery and New Year all come at once when Mr Jackson walked through his door 🤣
Shopaholic anonymous tell tale signs:
Forgetting what you bought
Buying repeat or very similar items
A lack lustre trance like honed frenzy for the shop and spend experience, whilst also outwardly appearing bored
Loss of thought or control
Absolute disregard for any budget
Panic when you might not be able to own something you see and want
Everything an urge, or bought on an impulsive whim without much consideration
Tasteless tat but Y’know, been there, done that, bought the chess set… LMAO
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@Batya33! Reminds me of one lyric from an Eagles song that goes:
”He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty!”
🥂
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23 minutes ago, Batya33 said:
For encouragement and sorry if a repeat. Almost 20 years ago my friend, a year or so out from a broken engagement (they'd met on Match but coincidentally he and I had mutual friends and I wasn't so sure of him but that's tangential). On a rainy valentines night she went to her high rise's laundry room to do laundry. And there he was - a foreigner who'd moved to NYC a few years ago- and he was just around her age and I believe sent by his roommate-sibling to do laundry. She'd been doing the online things, singles stuff -but that night was for the love of laundry. He was/is handsome, great guy -she's a great person and so pretty.
They've been married about 18 years now -two kids, happy.
😭😭😭
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7 hours ago, Cherylyn said:
Since women are so liberated nowadays with their own power with economics, freedom of choice, not worrying about unintended pregnancies and the like, men are more liberated, too. Gone are the days of courtship expectations and societal norms.
Ever since women can control their desire to either become mothers or not, it's an entirely different world now. Hence, relationships have changed drastically.
The negatives are lack of commitment for many and discarding people easily if it doesn't work out. The positives are more alternatives for both men and women as opposed to dilemmas and shotgun weddings in order to save face.
Personally, in many ways, it's a better relationship world because no one including society gets to dictate how a relationship should be. There are no more strict rules to abide by. There's more flexibility which is more reasonable, practical and realistic.
Morning Cherylyn!
I do agree! I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! The barriers are down and everyone’s kind of, floating around on the open sea!
I remember my initial gut reaction to this whole juicy and very interesting topic was - that the rules being broken down and dismantled isn’t always a good thing; and doesn’t always bring more freedom, not of the good and healthy kind, anyway.
You could also argue that as much as people dislike tradition, at least you know where you stood with classic gender roles. It cut out all the confusion, delay, all of that. People knew what they had to do because society had this “accepted” path. Good and bad things about that, but I actually side on the argument it was for the better, not the worse.
I tend to buck a trend before I even realise I’m doing it; being a bit of a silly contrarian n’all! But even I delight in the comfort of at least some rules and boundaries. I almost need the security of some kind of safety net, I can’t just be out with no rules in which the game is played and nothing to contain me!
I think I also asked in my first post - what is now the role of a man? What is the role of a woman? What does it now mean to be a woman in 2024?(2023 I said @yogacat 🥲🤣)! Do we have a general idea? I suspect actually as a western society, we don’t anymore! It’s in my opinion causing a lot of problems.
We wanted the walls breaking down and now we’re all like, woah, this open field is big, and there’s not a horizon line in sight!
Love your input on this by the way.
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7 hours ago, LootieTootie said:
Oh my bad. I misread Kim's post. I thought they were a bunch of guys listening to music outside the apartment. Well if its inside, my idea is not good.
I love mslolita's first post.
Good Luck, Kim! I hope the stars aligns for you and this neighbor 🙂
Oh! Cheers Lootie!
Love your user name by the way! ☺️
Nothing sweeter than a close proximity potential romance!
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Kim, you seem like a total sweetheart!
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Speaking Before Meeting
in Dating Advice
Posted
Surely everyone is a stranger until you get to know them?
And by manufacture I meant, you have to organise yourselves to meet, or arrange it, where as, if you just bump into someone at the library for example or meet someone at work, that’s happened spontaneously whether you were looking to meet someone or not!
But I’d probably want a brief phone convo too if I was arranging a date that way as well, to try get a feel and also for the logistics of it on a practical level!
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