mrtapwell

Got to Day 4. Got drunk for the first time in a long time and "poked" her. She poked back and wanted to be friends on fb. Sigh. I didnt respond. Shes tried contacting a few times since, ive been NC. Resetting the counter, this makes it Day 2 again. Stupid poke.

Day 4 morning- waking up alone on the weekend sucks. No work to occupy my mind. Depressing. I looked at your twitter for a second and it didn't help.

Day 3- Wasnt too bad. Kept busy at work. Started to get a bit angry thinking about the new man but brushed it off. She tried to contact me again. She sent me a bunch of pictures of me and my cats (we bought them together, but i took 'custody') and nothing else. What is that supposed to mean??

Started 12/19/12 Im on day 2, sorry i didnt do day 1!! I started NC because talking to hurts too much. A new man in her life, yet she still wants to be friends because she loves me...Mixed signals much? I need to stand up for myself. Day 1: Was good. Felt free happy. It was hard when she texted if i wanted my shirt back. It made me feel like a jerk when let it go to voicemail. But i held my head high. Got harder when i was alone at home, but managed to pass the time. Day 2: Kept busy at work. Went out with friends. No contact from her. I am still feeling strong. Holidays might suck. Still missing her.

btw- moving to own thread

I don't care about the clothes.

Thanks all, especially SuperDave. These posts have got me through some pretty rough nights. This is my first day of NC and it isn't as hard as I thought..for now... But it still feels like im doing the wrong thing. My Story: After almost 2 years, my gf decided it was over. We've had a rough couple months, me falling into depressed, her getting diagnosed with MS. She said that she couldnt handle us and started to move out. We had some nasty words and things blew up. Seemingly weeks later, there was a new man in her life, she had a bf already. I was hurt. I told her we need to separate all our things ASAP. We eventually met up to get split up her things. We talked. It was nice. In the end she basically said she loved me, just as a friend. She wanted me in her life. She said that after being diagnosed, she wanted to live every day to the fullest, and not to have to try. With our relationship she had to try, and try hard. She said our relationship fizzled long ago even though she tried, so thats why the jump was so fast to the new guy. She said if the new relationship turns the same way she will leave that too. She said the new relationship is just that, something new, and i shouldnt compare ours to it.. I told her i understood as much as i could. Mutal love still, just so many factors. I cant spite her, i wasnt the one diagnosed. She said she wants me in her life. I told her i loved her too much to "just be friends" and it wouldnt be fair to me either, always wanting her back. She acknowledged that she knows i love her completely and did everything right for her, and said she doesnt know what the future holds. Before we left, she said please be in my life. She left. I stopped talking to her. She has been trying to call and get in touch because she still has some of my clothes. I hate ignoring her, but seeing her and talking to her hurts too much. Is my situation different since a disease involved? I feel like the biggest azzhole in the world not being there for her- even though she found a new man.