Blondie176
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Everything posted by Blondie176
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He told me because it was getting difficult not to. We had broken up already but we had remained very close. For 2 months he had been seeing her before he told me. I had been friend-zoned and used as a safety net without even knowing it, while he got to know his now gf.
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I think healing happens very slowly, so slowly that sometimes we dont even notice it. One day we will notice though, maybe just a few hours where we didnt think of them, then maybe a few days until one day we may still think of them, but without pain. xxx
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I am a day behind you.. i shall push you onwards and you can pull me along with you. xxx
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Its understandable that her family are concerned if he is a tw@t but she has to learn that for herself. You love her so of course you are still looking back and out for her, that shows you are a kind soul. But, now is the time for you ( and me, and us all in this thread) to think about ourselves. xxx
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Id leave it and not reply but i would also stop communicating with her mum, its her choice who she dates. xxx
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Day 3 and i am doing ok, i am still thinking about him an awful lot but it doesnt sting as much as it did before. I think i just might be starting to accept that he is gone. But i have felt like this before and it usually isnt long before i feel sad and alone once more. Its such a bumpy ride this heartbreak stuff isnt it? I have played all my cards and have nothing left to try, he knows how i feel, he knows where i am, if he wanted me, well he would come find me. Its really as simple as that. Ive cried and made a complete **** of myself in the past month. Hanging around for any breadcrumbs he might throw me.... not any more.
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When in doubt..do nothing! Thats what my gramps used to say about every dilemma ever. He has a point. My driving instructor used to say ''When in doubt, dont pull out'' same thing, if you're not sure then hang fire. xxx It means they are too busy being loved up with someone else to notice or care. Its cold and heartless but remember karma is a b i t c h . xxx
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Day 2 and missing him like crazy but also not feeling the pain as much as my previous days 2's lol I have to do this for my own sanity. Enough is enough! xxx
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I found this posted deep in the NC thread here, posted by someone called 'hurtandused' .. fantastic post and one that i am sure we can all identify with. xxx
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Hang in there hunni, there is nothing i can say to take that pain away but know you arent alone in this xxxx
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I am officially crap at this Arghhhhh i broke the no contact rule..got to day 13 this time and i cracked, i text him something really simple like ' Hi, hope you're well'' uhhhhh i regretted it instantly but it was too late. He then rang me and we chatted for a while about this and that and nothing to do with us! It was soooo good to hear his voice though- i swear he is like a drug for me. On the plus side i didnt cry this time or beg or make an idiot of myself so at least his last memory of me will not be the hysterical mess i was last time. Still doesnt change the fact that he is still with HER and not me. Back to NC for me from tomorrow because i spoke with him again today. For anyone thinking about breaking the no contact, DONT! It feels good to interact with them at the time but once that phone goes down you are left feeling like complete crap all over again. Its like picking at a healing ( even if only ever so slightly healing) wound and making it blood red again.. very very painful. xxx
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Day 12 (take 2) This is how far i got last time and then i cracked and i am having to sit on my hands to stop me from calling him again. I hate this! When i first joined up here and told my story, the good folks who replied all pretty much said ''Do Nothing!''..............i agreed but now i am doubting them and myself. Shouldnt i be fighting for my man? All this time ( 12 days- to me is long) i have been silent, what message am i sending him? What does my silence say? Does it say i am angry or i dont care, that i dont want to talk to him.... i feel like my silence might be driving him into her arms more than if i was in contact with him. The last time we spoke he said he still loved me and that he had made a terrible mistake, then why isnt he contacting me and why is he still with her ? Uhhhhh i want out of this crap Hope everyone is doing ok today xxxx
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Day 11 ( take 2) I saw this quote somewhere else and it pretty much sums up how i feel. Im tired of being tired, tired of being sad, tired of being obsessed with this crap. xxx
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I hope so Day 10 ( take 2) I had the most messed up dream, we were getting intimate, it was seriously hot and steamy and i was loving every second of it..... then in a blink of an eye it was no longer me he was making love to, it was HER.. oh dear lord, i woke in a right state. I am still bursting into tears guys, this is starting to worry me now, when will i start to see some light coming from that tunnel? I feel lost and alone and worried that i wont ever find my way back from this. All this while he makes happy with someone else! I hope you guys are having a better day than i am xxx
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You cannot be friends until you are on the same page as him, he see's you as a mate only, if and when you see him in the same way,until then, friends is a no no IMO. I think the dynamics of the relationship are not important, whether you were married for x amount of years or in a sort of seeing each other type of relationship, the fact is you are hurt and need to break the strings of attachment. xxx
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Yup! If only my heart would hear that Day 9 ( take 2) I feel all a bit 'meh' today, last night i had a seriously wobbly moment of really desperately needing him, i fell to the floor in a heap and sobbed for ages. I feel like he has stomped on my heart, left me laying in a broken heap on the floor and walked away without looking back. Can this get any worse? It has to start to get better soon, right? Its the silence that is killing me, no contact whats so ever, ( obviously cause i am in NC lol) no chit chat, no knowing how his day was or him mine, the thoughts of him with HER kill me too. No cuddles, no intimacy. He is doing all that with someone else. I am forgetting his voice, his smell, his smile. After just 9 days! So i imagine he has totally forgotten those things about me, seeing as he has moved on and all. xxx
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Day 6 ( take 2) I dont know how i feel today really, i am sort of starting to think he is a bit of a bastard really, what kind of man lies for 2 months when he seeing someone else, what kind of man tell you he still loves you, that he made a terrible mistake but then goes on to spend the weekend with the other woman, leave you in tears, in an absolute mess and doesnt even look back? Meh.... i wish i could erase him from my mind! Hope you guys are doing ok xxx
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I failed at day 12 I am back on it though, day 2 ...i hate this though, i just want to be free from all this bolloxs
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Day 11 I am still bursting into tears at random times, i wonder when my tears will dry up? I am anxious too Streetbob, for 11 days now i have had this knot in my tummy, i feel unsettled in my self, which is normal at times like this. I agree with the above comments, invite the anxiety in, let it be there for the time being, its your body reacting to the situation. I read somewhere on here ( wish id noted the posters name) that the only way out is through! Never a truer word spoken. I hope you all have a good day.. xxxx
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Excellent post Nolia, thank you! xxx Day 9 I have been on and off today, i am still bursting into tears at random times, shouldnt i be passing the teary stage by now? I managed to watch the football and was actually distracted by it at times my mind kept wondering though, if him and his new woman were watching together. Urgh. I hope i start to sleep better soon because i am exhausted. Hope everyone is doing ok xxx
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
Blondie176 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I want you to know that i still love you, i miss you so much it hurts. I want you to know that the reason behind my silence is thaat i cannot watch your new relationship blossom, i cannot listen to you speak about your plans, i cannot look at pictures of the two of you on facebook. I cannot settle for any crumbs you may throw me from time to time if i break the silence. 9 days i have been silent and i feel like you have forgotten me, like i never existed, i was replaced and you have no idea and will never know how much this has broken me. Thats all. -
Can i join in? I am already 8 days in NC and today i have felt sad and down most of the day. I feel strongly that i wont contact him and i feel equally strong that he wont contact me ( he is with another woman) but 8 days in i dont really feel like i have made much progress. I must have though because day 1-2-3 i was listening to people talking but i wasnt hearing, i was seeing things around me but i wasnt watching, eating but not tasting and so on.. i dont feel like the zombie i was then. Maybe i shouldnt judge my progress day by day? xxx